Chapter 43: The Sannin and The Android: 01

Naruto squinted at the thick, leather-bound medical ninjutsu book resting on her lap. Her gaze was flat, as if the book was a minor inconvenience rather than a necessary study tool. With mechanical precision, she flipped through the pages, her speed robotic, eyes glazing over words that seemed to bleed together into a useless mess of diagrams and chakra terms.

"Dattebayo," she droned in a monotone voice, snapping the book shut with a loud thud. Dust billowed around her, and she stared blankly, as if waiting for the particles to settle in some orderly fashion. She cleared her throat, her voice low and strangely detached. "Whoever wrote this book clearly doesn't know how regular geniuses think. All this 'chakra flow' nonsense... It's designed to confuse lesser minds."

Her gaze shifted slowly to Shizune, who was watching her with a mixture of fear and exasperation. Shizune's eyes flicked nervously between Naruto and TonTon, the little pig nestled at her feet. TonTon gave a soft, nervous squeal whenever Naruto's eyes landed on him, as if he sensed her passing thought about ramen-broth-flavored pig stew. Shizune had taken to keeping TonTon close, just in case Naruto got any culinary ideas.

"Shizune," Naruto's voice was flat, barely curious. "Where's Granny?"

Shizune sighed, visibly deflating. "Lady Tsunade is… drinking."

Naruto tilted her head with mechanical slowness. "Drinking what? Water? Ramen broth?"

Shizune's sigh deepened. "...Sake."

Naruto's eyes widened slightly, her face maintaining an eerie stillness. "Oh. Fascinating. She can eat so much sake… I wonder if we are relatives. Dattebayo."

Meanwhile, across the room, Sasuke stirred, peeling himself from the bandages that had been wrapped around him after his last battle. He flexed his arms, rolling his shoulders with a wince. His face contorted as memories resurfaced—memories of that last brutal encounter with Itachi, who hadn't spared him even an ounce of mercy.

His expression darkened as another, more recent memory crept in: Naruto, in all her weirdness, stomping on his face. Right. On. His. Face. And why? Because he'd been lying there, practically unconscious, as she loomed over him like some bizarre ramen-obsessed demon. He hadn't done anything wrong… okay, maybe she'd been hovering a bit too close, but that was her fault, right? Not his.

Strangely enough, though… the memory wasn't entirely unpleasant. In a very confusing, messed-up way, it was sort of… nice? Sasuke grimaced, shaking his head violently, as though trying to exorcise the thought from his mind. 'Focus, Sasuke. You're here to kill Itachi, not to dwell on… appealing toad-printed underwear or creamy skin…'

Naruto's voice cut through his thoughts with all the warmth of a glacier. "This book is beneath my understanding," she declared, holding it with two fingers as if it were a contaminated object. With a casual flick, she tossed it aside, barely even watching as it clattered to the ground. "I require… hands-on experience. Shizune, fix his arm."

Shizune blinked, confusion momentarily breaking her usual calm. "But… he's already healed."

Naruto's gaze turned to Sasuke, her expression blank, eyes almost unblinking. She moved toward him with slow, deliberate steps, her posture eerily calm. Sasuke's face twisted in panic as he scrambled back, already halfway into a yell.

"You lunatic! Don't you dare come near me!" he screeched, practically throwing himself off the bed in his hurry to put distance between them.

Naruto's head tilted at an unnatural angle, her voice unchanging. "You sound… alarmed. As if I would do something… unsettling."

"Unsettling? Try pure evil!" Sasuke's voice had a sharp edge, laced with genuine fear.

Before Naruto could respond, a small pop echoed through the room, and a tiny, young toad appeared on the floor in front of her, blinking up at her with what could only be described as a complete lack of enthusiasm. "Message from Jiraiya," the toad announced, as if this were an everyday chore.

Naruto stared down at him, her expression blank. "Oh. Understood," she said, her tone as flat as a stone. Her reaction to a talking toad was no different than if someone had handed her an ordinary envelope.

The toad blinked up at her, visibly unimpressed. "Uh… and you are?"

Naruto puffed up slightly, though her voice remained detached. "I am the future Hokage. Naruto Uzumaki. The White Flash of the Leaf, the—"

"Oh, right. The creepy girl Pops talked about," the toad interrupted, without a hint of apology.

Naruto blinked, her head tilting to the side. "Pops?"

The toad barely shrugged. "Gamabunta, the Toad-Chief. I'm his son, Gamakichi. Nice to meet ya."

"It's only logical to feel nice meeting me," Naruto nodded sagely, her voice devoid of any actual warmth but full of self-satisfaction. "Dattebayo."

Shizune cleared her throat, her gaze darting nervously between Naruto and the toad. "Uh… Gamakichi, what's the message?"

"Oh, right," Gamakichi said, scratching his chin as though he'd nearly forgotten the purpose of his visit. "Someone named Orochimaru kidnapped a lady named Tsunade. Pops said it was kind of a big deal, so, you know… figured you'd want to know."

The room fell into silence. Shizune gasped, her face turning pale as she frantically looked around, as if expecting Lady Tsunade to appear right next to her, safe and unharmed. Sasuke's eyes went wide, a flicker of concern breaking through his usual stoicism.

Naruto, however, just stared blankly. "Oh. That's… unfortunate."

"Where's Jiraiya-sama?" Shizune asked, her voice a mix of worry and frustration.

Gamakichi's face remained blank. "He's lying unconscious in a bar downtown. Didn't look too good, honestly."

"Understood!" Shizune straightened, determination flashing in her eyes as she marched out of the room, Sasuke following with a reluctant glance over his shoulder at Naruto, who remained as unbothered as ever.

Left alone, Naruto sighed in a long, flat exhale. "People… do not appreciate a proper dramatic entrance," she murmured, more to herself than to anyone else. Her expression was as serene as a mountain lake, her tone as flat as a board.

She reached into her pouch, pulling out a thick kunai with an almost lazy movement, inspecting its edge with the same dispassion she might have reserved for a dull rock. She lifted it slowly, holding it in the air with deliberate precision. "I have… unlocked a new skill," she stated in her usual robotic monotone hinting excitement.

In the empty room, she struck an oddly stiff pose, her voice barely rising above a murmur. "Dattebayo."

In a flash of white light, she disappeared, leaving only a faint scent of ramen broth lingering in the air.

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