Chapter 277: Am I poisonous?

Chapter 277: Chapter 277: Am I poisonous?

By the time dinner ended, Ironwood had finally grown quiet.

The children were exhausted.

Miko had fallen asleep halfway through telling Nerin about an enormous monster he had defeated that morning.

Unfortunately, Miko had insisted on explaining the battle three separate times, each version becoming more impressive than the last.

By the third telling, the tree stump had apparently grown teeth.

Nilo had given up correcting him.

Kairo was the last of the triplets to fall asleep, stubbornly checking that his little sisters were comfortable before allowing Kael to tuck him beneath a blanket.

Sira slept curled against his uninjured side.

Eira had claimed a fistful of Swanly’s clothing and refused to release it.

When Swanly finally managed to replace the fabric with a soft piece of white fur, the little snake girl frowned in her sleep.

"Mama..."

"I’m right here, sweetheart."

Swanly kissed her forehead.

Eira settled.

Nearby, Nerin carefully stood.

"I should go."

Swanly looked up.

"Already?"

The silver deer beastman nodded.

"The children are asleep. You should rest too."

His green eyes flicked toward Soren, who was cleaning the cooking utensils, then Kael beside the sleeping cubs.

"I don’t want to disturb anyone."

Swanly watched him for a moment.

There it was again.

That careful little sentence.

I don’t want to disturb anyone.

He had said it during dinner.

He had said it when she invited him inside.

And now he was saying it again.

Swanly narrowed her eyes.

"Nerin."

His ears lifted.

"Yes?"

"Come with me for a minute."

He blinked.

"Where?"

"Just outside."

Soren looked up immediately.

"Swanly."

She turned.

"I’m not leaving the shelter!"

His silver eyes narrowed.

"Your definition of a short walk has become unreliable."

Kael made a quiet sound of agreement.

Swanly gasped.

"Oh, so we’re never letting that go?"

"No," both males answered.

Nerin lowered his head, hiding a smile.

Swanly pointed at him.

"And don’t you start!"

"I didn’t say anything."

"Your ears did."

His silver ears immediately turned pink.

Swanly laughed and took his hand.

"Come on."

She led him onto the sheltered veranda, where a low wooden bench overlooked the repaired gardens.

Lanterns hung beneath the roof.

Beyond the raised walkway, Ironwood’s guards were changing shifts.

The settlement was still damaged, but for the first time since the attack, Swanly could hear ordinary nighttime sounds.

Insects.

Water running through the shallow channels.

The occasional call of a guard.

She sat on the bench and patted the space beside her.

Nerin hesitated.

Then sat.

Carefully.

Leaving an entire person’s worth of space between them.

Swanly looked at the gap.

Then at him.

"Nerin."

"Yes?"

"Am I poisonous?"

His eyes widened.

"What?"

"Do I bite?"

He blinked.

"No."

"Do I smell bad?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why are you sitting all the way over there?"

Nerin stared at her.

His ears slowly lowered.

"I thought..."

Swanly waited.

He looked toward the shelter.

Then quietly moved closer.

Only a little.

Swanly sighed.

"Hopeless deer."

His mouth twitched.

For a moment, neither spoke.

Then Swanly turned toward him.

"Are you avoiding me?"

Nerin went completely still.

"No."

She raised one eyebrow.

He looked away.

"...Not intentionally."

"Nerin."

His fingers tightened around the edge of the bench.

"I’ve just been giving you time with your family."

"You said that at dinner."

"Because it’s true."

"Is it?"

He didn’t answer.

Swanly studied him.

The bandage around his antler had been changed, but she could still see faint bruising near his temple.

His shoulders looked tired.

And although he had smiled throughout dinner, she had noticed how often he checked whether Soren or Kael wanted him to leave.

She gently touched his hand.

"Talk to me."

Nerin swallowed.

"I don’t know what you want me to say."

"The truth would be a nice start."

He gave a nervous little laugh.

Then fell silent again.

Several seconds passed.

Finally, he whispered, "Sometimes I forget I’m allowed to want things."

Swanly’s expression softened.

Nerin kept his eyes lowered.

"You have Kael and Soren. They love you. Your children love you. You’ve built a family together."

He paused.

"And I..."

His voice faded.

Swanly waited.

"I care about all of you," he continued. "More than I expected. But sometimes I don’t know where I’m supposed to stand."

Swanly’s heart tightened.

Nerin looked toward the doorway.

"Tonight, when you called me to dinner, I was happy."

A faint smile touched his lips.

"Really happy."

"Then why did you look like someone had sentenced you to execution?"

He laughed softly.

"Because Soren was watching me."

Swanly snorted.

"That’s just his face."

Nerin glanced at her.

"His tail was blocking the cushion."

Swanly burst out laughing.

"Oh, that jealous snake!"

Then Nerin’s expression grew serious again.

"I don’t blame him."

Swanly stopped laughing.

"He almost lost you. Kael almost lost you. The children..."

His voice tightened.

"They thought you were never coming back."

Swanly’s smile disappeared.

Nerin looked at his hands.

"And I was frightened too."

She swallowed.

"I know."

"I wanted to hold you when you returned."

His ears lowered.

"But they needed you. They’re your mates. Your children."

He took a shaky breath.

"I didn’t know whether I had the right."

For a moment, Swanly simply looked at him.

Then she moved closer.

"Nerin."

He raised his head.

"Who told you that you’re only allowed to care about me when nobody else needs me?"

His green eyes widened.

"Nobody."

"Then why are you doing that to yourself?"

He couldn’t answer.

Swanly gently caught his face.

"You’re not a burden."

His breath caught.

"And I didn’t invite you to dinner because I felt sorry for you."

"I never thought..."

"Yes, you did."

He looked embarrassed.

Swanly smiled softly.

"I invited you because I wanted you there."

His eyes searched hers.

"Really?"

"Really."

She brushed a loose strand of silver hair away from his forehead, careful not to touch his damaged antler.

"I like having you around, Nerin. I like talking to you. I like how gentle you are with my children."

Her smile widened.

"And I especially like how you make Soren jealous just by breathing."

Nerin nearly choked.

"Swanly!"

She giggled.

"Sorry!"

He shook his head.

But his expression had softened.

Swanly lowered her voice.

"I don’t know exactly what everything between us will become."

Nerin’s smile faded slightly.

"But I know I want you in my life."

His eyes widened.

"And I want you to stop deciding that you don’t belong before I’ve even had the chance to tell you otherwise."

For several seconds, Nerin couldn’t speak.

Then his eyes filled.

Swanly immediately frowned.

"Oh, sweetheart."

He shook his head.

"I’m fine."

"Don’t you dare start lying again."

A small laugh escaped him.

She opened her arms.

"Come here."