Chapter 235: EVERYBODY SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN!

“So?”

“They do not meow!”

Sira shouted:

“MEOW!”

Kairo collapsed laughing.

Nilo covered his mouth.

Even Kael’s ears twitched.

Soren finally opened one eye.

“Your sons are corrupting my daughters.”

Kael looked offended.

“They are your daughters until they do something stupid?”

“Yes.”

Swanly groaned.

Then the morning truly began.

And somehow got worse.

Five children needed washing.

Three boys argued over who was first.

Two baby girls hated having their hair combed.

Sira tried drinking the wash water.

Eira stole the cloth.

Miko ran naked across the shelter because he thought being undressed meant freedom.

Kairo tackled him.

Nilo calmly closed the doorway.

Swanly stood in the center of it all with wet hair, one hand made sandal missing, and absolutely no patience left.

“MAMA!”

“Mine!”

“Give!”

“Meow!”

“Stop pulling my tail!”

“Snake Papa!”

“Mama!”

Swanly’s ears flattened so hard they nearly vanished into her hair.

“EVERYBODY SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN!”

Silence.

Five children dropped.

Immediately.

Kairo sat.

Nilo sat.

Miko sat with one leg still halfway through a hide wrap.

Eira sat.

Sira sat.

Even Soren looked over.

Kael’s ears rose.

Swanly stood there breathing.

Her tail was enormous.

Wet.

Furious.

Nobody moved.

Miko whispered:

“Mama is scary.”

Nilo whispered back:

“You made her scary.”

Swanly pointed.

“Not. One. Word.”

Both boys closed their mouths.

The exhaustion hit all at once.

Her shoulders dropped.

Not anger now.

Just tired.

Weeks.

Birth.

Attack.

Heart.

Sickness.

Children.

Walls.

People crying.

People dying.

People depending on her.

Her body had healed a lot.

Her mind had not caught up.

Kael noticed first.

His panther instincts always noticed weakness in movement.

Not weakness as failure.

Weakness as something to protect.

His ears softened.

Soren noticed immediately after.

His tail uncoiled.

Swanly rubbed her face.

“I can’t…”

Her voice came quieter.

“I just need ten minutes.”

Kael stood.

Soren did too.

“I’ll wash the girls and the cubs,” Soren said.

Every panther cub gasped.

Miko’s eyes widened.

“No.”

Kairo looked genuinely alarmed.

“No Snake Papa.”

Soren turned.

All three boys shuffled backward.

Nilo whispered:

“He bullies us.”

Soren’s mouth curved.

Miko pointed.

“SEE? THAT FACE!”

Soren did not deny it.

He smiled more.

Evil.

Swanly stared.

“What do you do to them?”

“Wash them.”

Kairo looked betrayed.

“He pours water over our heads when we say stop.”

“You are covered in mud.”

“He says our tails are dirty.”

“They are.”

Miko clutched his tail protectively.

“He squeezes water out!”

Soren’s smile became terrible.

Kael shook his head.

“I’ll wash the boys.”

All three immediately ran behind him.

“Yes.”

“Panther Papa.”

“Good Papa.”

Soren looked offended.

Sira clapped for no reason.

Eira stared.

Swanly looked at both males.

Really looked.

They were trying to take weight from her.

Kael already had Miko by the neck of his hide wrap.

Soren had scooped both girls into his arms.

Sira was chewing his hair.

Eira was attempting to remove one of his fingers from her waist.

Swanly’s expression softened.

“You both are the sweetest.”

Kael froze.

Soren looked at her.

Swanly yawned.

“I don’t care what you do. Just do it.”

Miko screamed:

“MAMA!”

“Survive.”

“MAMA!”

Swanly walked away.

“Baby, I’m going to wash.”

Kael’s golden eyes followed her.

Soren’s did too.

Then Swanly disappeared toward the bathing area.

Behind her, Miko whispered:

“She abandoned us.”

Kairo said:

“She looked tired.”

That sobered them.

Even Miko.

Soren looked down at the boys.

His expression softened by the smallest amount.

“Then make today easier for her.”

Kairo nodded immediately.

Nilo nodded.

Miko stood straighter.

“Okay.”

Soren looked at Sira.

She had his hair in her mouth.

“You too.”

Sira smiled.

“Meow.”

Soren closed his eyes.

Kael laughed.

After washing, Swanly felt human again.

Barely.

Her hair was damp down her back.

Her fox ears were clean.

Her huge white tail had finally dried enough to regain its ridiculous fluff.

But tiredness remained in her bones.

She walked toward the little garden where she usually escaped when Ironwood became too loud.

Then stopped.

Something was different.

A raised platform stood beneath the shade trees.

Not crude.

Not temporary.

Actually built.

Wide enough for her to lie down.

High enough to keep her body well above direct contact with the ground.

A small shelf had been carved into one side.

There was already water on it.

Another lower section held folded hide where the twins could sit safely beside her.

And around one edge was a little rail.

Swanly stared at it.

Then looked at the rail.

It was oddly high on one side.

Why?

Miko ran past in the distance.

Swanly understood.

“To stop him from rolling off.”

A quiet voice behind her said:

“Yes.”

She turned.

Nerin stood with a small wooden tool in his hands.

His deer ears immediately went pink.

Swanly pointed at the platform.

“Nerin.”

His face changed.

Worry.

“You don’t like it?”

Swanly stared at him like he had lost his mind.

“What?”

His little silver-gray tail flicked anxiously.

“I could lower it.”

“No.”

“Or move it.”

“No.”

“The shade is wrong?”

“Nerin.”

“I thought because sleeping close to the ground seems to make the Fever worse, if you wanted to sit here you should not…”

“Nerin.”

He stopped.

Swanly walked closer.

“You made me an entire resting place.”

He looked at it as though it were nothing.

“You come here when you’re tired.”

She said nothing.

“I thought you might still want somewhere outside.”

His eyes moved toward the little section for the girls.

“The twins can sit there.”

Then the rail.

“And Miko…”

“Yes. I understand the rail.”

Nerin’s ears drooped.

“I can make another one on the other side.”

Swanly almost laughed.

She looked around.

Water shelf.

Shade.

Soft hide.

Twins’ space.

Miko-proof rail.

Nerin had thought of everything.

Again.

Her repaired sandal.

The shawl.

Food.

Water.

The little comb that did not pull her hair.

The fruit he always chose because he remembered which ones she liked.

The herbs left beside her when she was recovering.

The time he had quietly filled water because she had forgotten.

The way he never pressed when she was uncomfortable.

The way he always stepped back when Kael or Soren entered, as though affection were something he had to earn permission to feel.

The little garden.

The moonbell herbs.

The broken antler he still pushed until it bled if it meant helping her understand what lay beneath Ironwood.

His hands were always doing something to make her life easier.

Never loudly.

Never demanding gratitude.

Never asking her to choose him.

Never asking for anything at all.

Swanly looked at him.

Really looked.

And realized something that had probably been happening slowly enough that she had avoided naming it.

She had grown attached to him.

Very attached.

Not because he was useful.

That thought made her almost angry.

No.

Because he was Nerin.

Soft.

Gentle.

Painfully sincere.

So sweet that sometimes Swanly wanted to shake him until he developed enough selfishness to ask for something.

She liked seeing him.

She looked for him when he was not around.

She noticed when his ears went pink.

She liked making him smile.

She liked that her children loved him.

She liked the little way his tail flicked when she praised him.

She liked him.

Not as a friend.

Not anymore.

The realization should probably have terrified her.

Instead, looking at him standing there worrying that she might dislike the resting platform he built specifically to keep her safe, Swanly only thought:

He is so fucking cute.

“Nerin.”

His ears lifted.

“Why do you do so much for me?”

He blinked.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

He looked genuinely confused by the question.

“I…”

His gaze fell.

Then came back.

“Because I like when your life is easier.”

Swanly stopped breathing.

There was no hidden meaning.

No performance.

That was simply his answer.

Because your life is easier.

Her heart did something deeply inconvenient.

Nerin immediately worried.

“Was that wrong?”

Swanly almost screamed.

“No.”

“Oh.”

“You…”

She stepped closer.

Nerin became very still.

Swanly’s tail moved behind her.

One slow sweep.

Then another.

His green eyes followed her.

She made a decision.

If she waited for Nerin to make the first move, they would both die of old age.

Swanly leaned up.

Pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.