Chapter 68

Mei hummed a sea shanty while slowly bleeding to death and simultaneously slaughtering dozens of fish-monkeys dressed as British guardsmen.

Her dagger carved through necks, spraying bucket loads of blood across the treasure vault, while her bullets tore through bodies, exploding hearts and rupturing vital organs.

Soon, the once-pristine treasure room was filled with nothing but blood, corpses, and the metallic scent of death.

“Sixty-six Treasure Guardians in the vault, shoot one down, sixty-five Treasure Guardians in the vault!”

The lyrics were terrible, but Mei more than made up for it with her beautiful singing voice.

It was like listening to a goose being strangled by an overly enthusiastic gorilla.

Vytr26: :MyEars:

GodGamerKyle: :RipMyEars:

SeeCuteGirl-iClick: :MyEarsHurt:

HottieHunter: :PepeSadJam:

xYzXyZ (mod): :AAAA:

Despite the chat taking actual physical and emotional damage from her singing, Mei refused to stop. She continued humming as she walked over to the pedestal, grabbed the ocean-blue Sea Dragon Pearl, and made her way toward another corridor leading deeper into the vault.

BlueDye: Just switched POVs. Did she cast [Sonic Shriek]?

GodGamerKyle: Nah, that's just her singing voice :KEKW:

Mei continued down the corridor, though calling it walking was being generous. She stumbled forward like a drunk person trying to find their way home after a night of questionable decisions.

Her body was reaching its limit.

The wounds covering her body had drained far too much blood, and every step felt heavier than the last. Her vision slowly began darkening around the edges, and she could feel her strength slipping away.

Gritting her teeth, Mei forced herself to keep moving and cast a more expensive healing spells.

“[Greater Heal]...” she called out weakly.

A soft green light enveloped her body, spreading warmth through her battered form. The countless wounds covering her skin began sealing shut one after another, stopping the bleeding and giving her pale face a little bit of color.

However, the spell couldn't replace the blood she had already lost.

Worse, it consumed half of her already nearly empty mana reserves.

“Wish I had Adam's mana battery...” she sighed.

She glanced down at her inventory before shaking her head.

“Though I'm also glad I'm not carrying around a volatile fission core in my pocket.”

Mei was forced to sit down cross-legged and meditate, allowing her blood and mana to slowly regenerate before the next fight.

Her dagger was already on the verge of shattering, and her zero-cost mana bullets were simply too weak to carry her through another battle like the last one by themselves.

Not to mention, constantly using them came with its own problems. The strange side effects caused by repeatedly firing zero-cost bullets were beginning to wear on her body, and meditation helped ease some of the strain.

So, even if it cost her time, resting was the better choice.

As long as Adam could handle the creature she was currently trapped inside, everything would be fine.

And according to the chat, he was doing a pretty good job.

Or at least he had been before Mei started meditating.

Unfortunately, she could no longer see the chat window.

BlueDye: What kind of broken gloves are those?! They can give that kind of buff?! To an enemy?!?!?!?

— — —

Invincible Might Buff Applied to Sea Monkey. All stats maxed.

According to my Calculations Buff Applied to Adam Colt. Math talent added to hidden talents.

“Math? What the hell am I gonna do with math?”

Adam shook his head and went right back to persuading the sea monkey physically. With his fists.

However, just as he threw another punch, he caught a message from the chat out of the corner of his eye.

BlueDye: What kind of broken gloves are those?! They can give that kind of buff?! To an enemy?!?!?!?

“Hm?”

Adam wasn't sure what buff BlueDye was talking about. He had become so numb to the constant stream of buffs and system messages that he'd mostly stopped paying attention to them. He had only really noticed his own because it was so bizarre.

Like, who the hell would create a buff that gave someone a talent for math?

He soon learned exactly which buff BlueDye was talking about.

Adam's fist slammed into the side of the sea monkey's scaled head, only for the impact to feel completely different from before. The scales had already been hard, but now it was as if he were punching a solid piece of steel.

“Ow!” Adam yelped, shaking his hand.

The sea monkey glanced up at him and laughed maniacally while trying to tear itself free from the sea dragon's tail wrapped around its body.

“What? What's going on? Where did it get this kind of strength?”

The sea dragon struggled to maintain its grip, but the sea monkey was now so powerful that it couldn't hold onto it for more than a second.

“I'm invincible!” the sea monkey roared.

Its body suddenly shot through the ocean with the speed of a spaceship equipped with a slipspace-capable hyperdrive engine. It moved so quickly that it almost looked like teleportation.

Adam barely had time to register the movement.

Then his body literally exploded.

Blood filled a large swath of the surrounding ocean as his body was torn apart by the sheer force of the attack. Yet, somehow, his gloves remained attached to his hands. Those hands hadn't been destroyed, and the gloves immediately went to work regenerating the rest of his obliterated body.

Adam's half-ruined eyes slowly turned toward the chat window as his body began stitching itself back together.

CatTheBountyHunter: Universal rarity equipment? The tutorial is a lot different than the one I went through back in the day. Oh, but it's chaos attributed and cursed? Yikes… I'll take normal Mythic-grade equipment over something like that any day.

Once his vocal cords had regenerated enough to speak, Adam couldn't help but ask, “You don't want something that makes you immortal?”

CatTheBountyHunter: Immortal? You aren't… wait. Do you think you're immortal? You do know true immortality doesn't exist, right?

Adam blinked.

Before he could respond, another message appeared.

BlueDye: :SMHH: these kids don't know nothing. Every time you die and your body heals, you are expanding a portion of your lifespan. If the cost is too high you'll die for real. Same goes for that orc friend of yours. Also, you shouldn't be worrying about this. Worry instead about surviving this fight.

Adam stared at the message for a moment.

Every time he died, he was consuming a portion of his lifespan?

That was probably something he should have been more concerned about.

Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to worry about it.

The sea monkey waited patiently for Adam's body to finish regenerating, completely ignoring the water blades the sea dragon continued throwing at it. The moment Adam's body was whole again, the sea monkey attacked.

And killed him.

Then it waited for him to regenerate.

Then it killed him again.

And again.

And again.

The situation had completely flipped on its head.

Earlier, Adam had been the one dominating the fight, beating the sea monkey into submission while the sea dragon helped keep it restrained.

Now Adam was the one having his ass handed to him.

— — —

“Huh? What? Adam's dying?” Mei asked, unable to believe what she was reading in the chat after opening her eyes from her meditative state.

NowYou’reThinkingWithMagic: This is why support classes should prioritize researching the ultimate [Immortality] spell.

BlueDye: That spell has never once been cast successfully. And not just because of the insanely high mana requirements, but also because it simply doesn't work. Nothing in life is immortal. Death is the end of everything.

“I don't care about all that,” Mei said as the chat devolved into an argument over [Immortality] and the philosophical implications of whether true immortality was even possible. “Just tell me what's happening outside.”

SeeCuteGirl-iClick: Adam's weird gloves gave the sea monkey a buff which increased its stats to max level, then the sea monkey kept exploding Adam's body with a single punch, but Adam's gloves kept regenerating his body. However, according to @BlueDye, Adam isn't immortal despite his body regenerating from all that damage. Apparently his lifespan is being burned each time his body is reconstructed. So he is dying, just very slowly.

Mei read the message, her eyes widening with every word.

Then she bolted upright.

Whatever fatigue remained in her body was shoved aside as she sprinted down the corridor at full speed. It was time to stop messing around.

She didn't care about her pirate cosplay anymore, either.

Mei summoned her equipment and slipped on her bulletproof vest.

She hadn't worn it earlier because it clashed horribly with her aesthetic. Now, however, she couldn't have cared less about aesthetics. The vest's ability to negate all damage from projectiles was practically tailor-made for dealing with the Treasure Guardians, whose preferred method of attack was firing water arrows.

Mei charged into the next treasure room and immediately opened fire, no longer bothering to conserve mana for her pistol.

She didn't even spare the treasure pedestal a glance.

Her eyes had gone red.

All she could see were the mobs standing between her and Adam.

Dozens of water arrows tore through the air, each one aimed at a different part of her body. Yet a thin magical barrier surrounded Mei, intercepting every projectile and completely negating its damage.

The water splashed harmlessly across her body, drenching her from head to toe as the arrows broke against the barrier.

Despite charging directly into a room filled with enemies, Mei wasn't flustered in the slightest.

Her mind was completely calm.

Colder than the water dripping from her clothes.

She raised her pistol and began systematically eliminating the Treasure Guardians.

With analytical precision, she aimed, cast a powerful spell, and fired before immediately transitioning to the next target.

Every bullet found its mark.

Every shot punched through a Treasure Guardian's skull before exploding inside its head.

She didn't miss.

She didn't hesitate.

She didn't even flinch.

Every shot earned a kill.

Mei wasn't playing a game.

The Treasure Guardians tried to retaliate, filling the room with a storm of water arrows, but none could reach her. Her magical barrier continued to cancel their attacks as she walked forward, her pistol flashing with every step.

One Guardian fell.

Then another.

Then another.

The entire process was so efficient that the battle was over before most of the Treasure Guardians even had time to understand what was happening.

When the final Treasure Guardian collapsed onto the floor, Mei didn't even glance at the loot scattered throughout the room.

She ignored the piles of equipment strewn across the floor and didn't even look at the shiny object resting on the pedestal, an item that appeared even rarer and more profound than the Sea Dragon Pearl she'd taken earlier.

None of it mattered.

Mei simply sprinted toward the next treasure room and continued killing.

GodGamerKyle: Mei's kinda scary when she's serious…

— — —

The ninety-ninth Treasure Guardian, its neck sprouting an empty, bloody stump where its head should have been, collapsed to the floor with a wet thump.

Mei marched through the gore-filled treasure room, soaked in gallons upon gallons of bloody water.

Mostly blood.

She finally came to a door.

It was intricately carved with images of Treasure Guardians protecting rare and valuable treasures that looked like they had been ripped straight from ancient myths. Gold, jewels, weapons, and strange artifacts were depicted behind the guardians, each one looking more valuable than the last.

Mei sucked in a breath of metallic, bloody air and assessed her mana reserves.

About a quarter full.

Good enough.

She reached for the door handle, her pistol already raised and ready to fire a spell at a moment's notice. Slowly, she turned the handle and pushed the door open.

However, the other side wasn't what she expected.

There was no boss-level Treasure Guardian waiting for her.

There were no traps.

There wasn't even any loot.

It was nothing more than a completely blank white room with absolutely nothing inside.

Mei frowned and stepped through the doorway, still expecting some kind of attack. Yet nothing happened.

She cautiously looked around the empty room before glancing toward the chat, hoping they might have an answer.

They were just as confused as she was.

Vytr26: No BOSS? What the heck? :confused:

BlueDye: Adam doesn't have much longer. A few more regenerations and his life will be in serious danger.

Mei finally began to panic. 

Not much. Just a little panic. 

Her breathing grew heavier as images of Adam dying flashed through her mind. She could practically see his body being torn apart again and again, his gloves piecing him back together like a macabre human Humpty Dumpty only for the sea monkey to kill him once more.

“No!” Mei shouted, slapping herself across the cheek. “Don't think like that.”

She took another deep breath and forced herself to calm down before beginning to inspect the room.

There had to be something here. 

A hidden passage, secret button, summoning circle.

Something. Anything.

She just needed to find it. Quickly. 

— — —

Meanwhile, outside, Adam cast barrier after barrier, stacking shields and defensive spells in an attempt to slow the sea monkey's assault.

None of it mattered.

With every punch, his body exploded apart regardless of how many shields he put between himself and the sea monkey, or how powerful those shields were.

At first glance, his situation looked completely hopeless.

But it wasn't quite as bad as the viewers might have thought.

Adam had been doing something else while getting repeatedly murdered.

He had been calculating.

The strange mathematics talent that had been added to his hidden talents was proving far more useful than he had initially expected. Adam had never been particularly good at math, so suddenly possessing a max-level mathematics talent had been a little strange at first.

Then he realized just how much he could do with it.

The first thing he calculated was how much lifespan he had.

Approximately one hundred and three years. 

He got to that number by extrapolating a normal human's lifespan then accounting for his perfectly healthy body plus the addition of life altering magic.

The second thing he calculated was how much lifespan each regeneration cost him.

About one day.

That calculation was both easy and extremely hard.

Each time his body was blown to pieces by the sea monkey he would count each cell and molecule as they stitched themselves back together. Every time he regenerated he lost approximately fifty billion, which was a normal amount for a human body to lose each day.

Adam had regenerated four hundred and two times since the battle with the two sea creatures began.

That meant he had lost roughly one year, one month, and one week of his lifespan.

So, despite what certain chatters were saying, he wasn't actually in as much danger as they thought.

Still, that didn't mean he was happy about it.

Adam would much rather keep every single day of his life than waste them getting repeatedly punched into paste by a sea monkey.

Which was why he had been working on one final calculation.

He needed a spell.

Something powerful enough to save him from his current predicament.

Something that could turn the sea monkey's overwhelming advantage against it.

Adam's eyes narrowed as the final numbers clicked into place.

He had finally completed the calculation.

And he had come up with the perfect spell.

Only...

It was a bit insane.