Supreme Magus

"Well, the good news is that Kamila hasn't actually broken up with you. She didn't throw stuff at you, didn't say mean words, or even use the words "break up". You offered her a choice and she simply refused to make one." Nalrond said while sipping a strong whiskey.

"The bad news, however, is that Kamila's feelings for you definitely changed. She said that she "loved you", considering it a thing of the past. Long story short, you're screwed, my friend."

"She hasn't sent me back the Camellia, the Tuner, nor any of the other gifts I gave her during our relationship so I was thinking to invite her for my birthday-"

"You what?" Nalrond almost choked on his drink.

"Well, my mother and her sister are still friends. Also, usually I'm the one that gives gifts for the occasion and Zinya's children would surely want to attend. That's why I was thinking about testing the waters." Lith said.

"Don't! For the love of the gods, don't. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard and we both hang out with Morok." Nalrond said.

"You just told me that Kami didn't really break up with me. What's so wrong with my idea?" Lith asked with a scoff.

"Everything. Look, if you're looking for validation, then I'll take my leave and let you do whatever stupid thing you're planning. If you're looking for advice instead, listen carefully.

"So far, you've done the right thing. You let Kamila go, giving her the time and space that she needs to think. If you barge into her life uninvited, you'll ruin everything. She might get angry at you and say things that she'd regret forever.

"Just like she might forgive you and then leave you the day after. Is that what you want?" Nalrond asked.

"No. I just want to make things better." Lith put away his glass of water, suddenly feeling very dumb.

"Then just let it go. It was her decision to walk out of your life, hence if she decides to be a part of it again, it must be her decision as well. Speaking of your life, where's Solus?" The Rezar said.

"In her room with Tista." Lith replied.

The room fell into silence, with Lith brooding and Nalrond not knowing what to talk about. They spent a lot of time together between the kids and Faluel but their relationship was closer to that of colleagues rather than friends.

It was based on mutual needs, not trust.

"Before I leave you with your thoughts, I need some advice as well." He said.

"Friya gives one date to anyone who asks her out as long as they're not a creep so you don't have to worry about being rejected." Lith said. "She likes strong liquor and hates small talk because it's dull.

"You have to wait until the gala to make your move, though. Jirni doesn't let any of her daughters out until this thing with Deirus is settled."

"I meant about my beast half!" Nalrond said a little too upset for Lith not having touched a nerve.

"You sure did. What about it?" Lith sighed deeply, his mind wondering about the present that Kamila had surely prepared for him beforehand and that now would get dusty in a damp corner of their home.

"I've tried everything I could. Meditation, mind links, shamanic rituals, yet nothing works. I can't get in touch with my beast half, no matter how much I try. How did you control not two, but three different natures at the same time?" Nalrond asked.

"I didn't." Lith replied, making the Rezar's jaw hit the floor.

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't control them because I had no need to. I'm not the fusion between an Abomination, a human, and an Emperor Beast. I am, or better, I was all of those things at the same time. They were akin to different aspects of my personality, not different personalities." Lith said.

"Dammit! This means that not even you can help me." Nalrond angrily gulped down what was left of his drink and moved toward the door.

"Not necessarily." Lith's voice had found its old edge back, making the Rezar stop in his tracks.

It wasn't dreamy or depressed anymore, only filled with the coldness of a doctor dissecting a corpse in search of answers.

"I think you've been addressing the problem wrong the whole time. If you and your beast half are really two separate entities, then how can you freely control both bodies? How can the beast's instinct take over whenever your lives are at stake?" Lith asked, mostly to himself.

"I told you. In the past, human mages used Forbidden Magic to fuse prisoners with Emperor and Magical beast to-"

"Fused, just like me." Lith cut him short.

"You know, recently someone told me that humans are nothing more than particularly cunning animals and that the reason why normal beasts lose to humans before evolving into magical beasts is that they lack intelligence. 

"After the evolution, instead, humans lose to beasts because we get so obsessed with what we are that we forget who we are." Lith quoted Scarlett's words before explaining his theory.

"What if they fused your minds just like they fused your bodies? What if all the urges and the rage you feel are actually your own? An Emperor Beast's mind is on par with that of a human, that's why it's so hard to recognize a shapeshifted beast from a human.

"What if what you call Nalrond has never been a human to start with? What if you're just like I was, an imperfect fusion waiting to fully merge?" He said.

Nalrond suddenly felt his knees buckling and needed to sit down before his legs betrayed him. The Rezar had lived his whole life considering himself a human trapped in a monstrous body, yet now all that was left was the monster.

"Are you sure of it?" He said in a whisper.

"No, it's just a theory that is up to you putting to the test. Yet it would surely explain a lot. Like the reason why you can use true magic even in your human form and why you don't suffer from any shock whenever you switch body." Lith said.

Another longer and more awkward silence ensued while Nalrond suddenly understood Lith's recent passion for alcohol. Losing everything you held dear hurt a lot and the whiskey dulled the mind enough to make it stop.

"Is it really that easy to get a date with Friya?" He asked, desperate to think about something else, even at the cost of making a fool out of himself.

"If you're not a creep, yes." Lith poured Nalrond another drink.

They talked about everything that came to their mind until it became late enough for Nalrond to leave without being rude.

***

The following day, at Faluel's lair, the Rezar found solace in the fact that both Friya and Lith were surrounded by a dome that kept them apart from the rest of the class. He didn't feel like he could look either of them in the eyes.

"Oh gods! Lith, you really make me want to kick your ass out of envy." Faluel said pointing at his seven opened eyes, each one of them shining with the power of a different element.