Novel Full 87 Not Your Hero
“That… That cannot be true….”
The old blind man shook, his dead eyes seeming to water up any second. He was so shocked by the news that he could cry.
“Tell me that’s not true, boy…. Why would you ever want to be an Obsidian?”
Ronin just quirked his lips up from the irony of it all. Someone’s asking him why…..
Everyone’s always asking him why he chooses to be a villain. Kai, Espinella… and now this old man.
It’s honestly amusing, but also getting tedious and annoying at the same time.
The short answer is: Why the hell not?
“I could tell you, sir. But only for your ears.” He gave Professor Espinella a look.
The jittery professor jolted a bit from that devious glance, and walked to the door. “Ah, I-I see….. I’ll give you both some privacy.”
As he left, Ronin approached the old man’s bed. He went close to whisper to his ear.
“It’s my destiny, sir.”
“I don’t believe it…..” The old man shook his head. “You must be the hero that the vision of Diamant promised us!”
He reached out to Ronin’s voice. “Let me have your hand! Please….. I need to touch the savior’s hand before I leave this world… Or know that we are doomed before I die in despair.”.
Ronin eventually relented, he’s not really losing anything by giving out his hand to this old man.
As the course fingers traced his palm lines… Ronin saw the old man furrow his eyebrows.
“I… I don’t understand. Your future…. I cannot see it. It’s all dark.”
Ronin just tilted his head to the side. “Are you an oracle too, Sir? Or does your Mage Focus just have a relation to foresight?”
“All of us Headmasters can see paths.”
“Paths?”
“Yes….. The road people will take. My father once touched the hand of Perdrix Blanc D’Argent, and it showed a fork on the road.”
“On this fork, there is a road paved in gold and silver coins.”
“But my father warned him that road also had crocodiles hidden within, swimming inside and turning the people it feeds on into crocodiles.”
Ronin chuckled lightly. “Quite an obvious metaphor, really. I expected something more vague.”
“The other road was the vague one. It must be the reason that Blanc D’Argent chose the sea of coins.” The Headmaster’s wrinkles went even deeper as he focused on finding Ronin’s ‘path’.
“It is a road with a group of children asking for alms. But instead of coins, they ask for hearts.”
Ronin nodded. “And Blanc D’Argent was not ready to give his heart away.”
The old man nodded, and just continued searching for something in Ronin’s palm.
“Mn… Where is it? Even with gods, there is still the image of a wide, open field that stretches in all directions.”
“You have touched the hand of a god?” Ronin raised an eyebrow. “Who?”
“A confused one. I did not see his face. After all, when we see the road, we see it from YOUR perspective.” He explained. “We feel what you feel about these paths.”
Ronin was even more interested. “What did this god see?”
” On a wide, wide field… There are two boys taking corn. Then, there is a man praying and crying. Suddenly, there is a storm, and the field had stretched towards a cliff…”
“Where one of the two boys hanged…. And the other one ate him.”
Ronin blinked. “Ate him?”
“Yes. And this god….. he helped this boy eat the other. I can feel his guilt in helping this boy, as the boy seemed to have regret eating his friend.”
These visions really were dream-like, and almost incomprehensible. As for the vision from his palm…
He wondered what this Headmaster think he must be feeling about the darkness.
He asked him, and he replied:
“You feel nothing about the darkness. You are not feeling exactly apathetic with it… But you are not at peace either. It….. It almost feels like—“
“Acceptance.” Ronin gave him the word. “I have accepted the darkness as part of myself.”
He took his hand away from the old man.
The man just ‘looked’ blankly. “Accepting the darkness….”
“The world is full of despair and lies upon lies, old man. Someone told me…” He sat by the bedside.
“Someone told me that my darkness made them see that the light is false. That the sun is a traitor that will come and go, and betray you. There is only the darkness that’s ever present.”
“I understand it now. The moment you accept it, you receive the absolute truth. No more questions, or anxieties about the past, present, or future….”
He took the old man’s hand this time.
“You reach the End. And the End embraces you.”
He had reached out to his pocket…..
And there was a knife. He always bring one with him, he had grown accustomed to having something he can use to cut with.
Whether it’s cutting hair for the Fool’s Eye…. Or cutting flesh…
“Let me have you feel the End, dear boy.” He told this old man.
His tone was different. It felt like it was not him speaking, yet him at the same time.
“For many years, you are afraid of the End. You held on to the false promises of hope…. Even when it had made you suffer again and again.”
“Let me take it all away. Accept me, sorrowful one. Become one with me…..”
The old man was speechless, and even when he could not see it, it seemed that he anticipated the blade that was coming for his heart.
He continued shaking and crying.
Ronin can see the memories flash in his mind.
His parents playing with him in the forest…. His house being attacked… Vines growing all over…
And his parent’s smiles, mixed with the visage of their corpses covered in blood.
“I… I want to see them again. Will I see them again once I accept the End?” He asked shakily to this young boy who seemed much older and wiser than him.
“Yes. You shall be together with everyone in the darkness.”
The old man took a deep breath, and said.
“I accept you.”
Ronin wore a wide smile, both disgustingly perverted yet also beautifully sweet.
This was actually one of the best he felt….. the crescendo of killing this pitiful old man had sent him shivering and gasping for breath.
Who knew an old man can make him feel this good?
But the departure of the feeling was also much worse. He had grown accustomed to it though, and shrugged it off, just relishing its bitter aftertaste.
Once the deed was done, he had only noticed that Espinella was watching.
“You really are not a hero…. At least, not what we expected. You must be something better.” He said, going on his side.
“I will help you become an Obsidian as much as I can. I just want one thing in return…..”
He turned to him. “What is it?”
He unbuttoned his shirt, and spread his arms wide.
“I want to see the End too. I want to see her.”