Chapter 5. The Most Terrifying Night of My Entire Existence

Chapter 5: 5. The Most Terrifying Night of My Entire Existence

I ate like three bowls... while Alicia ate two and watched me eat the third with her chin in her hand. God, that stare... she’s looking more and more like an angel in time.

"Mpphhhh~! I could get used to this... munch... munch...!" I said, with my mouth full. "Free food, free supplies, and Hesper says there’s a free room too~!"

"Maybe being an SSS-Rank knight isn’t so bad after all."

"Heh... really~? Five minutes ago you were cursing the entire universe."

"That was a reasonable crash out from me... munch... and I—gugghhhh!" I was talking with a lot of food in my mouth that I ended up choking on.

"Jeez... at least talk when your mouth is not full of stew." She sighed while patting my back and giving me a mug filled with water.

I would’ve argued, but she was smiling, and when she smiled... the whole square looked a little brighter.

Here’s the thing I’d been thinking about while I chewed... I could have spent the rest of my life complaining about the name of my class.

It was ridiculous, for sure, and I’d earned a few complaints after twenty years of waiting. But sitting there with a full stomach with a bandaged girl and a crowd of people who actually wanted me around...?

Hell yeah!

I realized that complaining wouldn’t get me anywhere.

The class had saved all of us. It had also handed me exactly the kind of life I used to daydream about back in my old apartment, the ridiculous kind full of power and beautiful women who were strong enough to stand next to me.

So what was my problem, exactly...? I’d begged the universe for a cheat.

And then that’s where I got my answer. The universe had finally delivered, with a sense of humor I didn’t love, but that was between me and the universe.

I made a decision right there... in the middle of Marrow Creek. I was done whining like an annoying main character.

I’d take what I’d been given, I’d use every bit of it, and I’d make damn sure it was worth the fucking wait for all these years.

Then the panel in my vision blinked at me, reminding me that I had a Bond waiting, and my courage dropped down into my boots.

I forgot... today’s probably the day where we... lose our virginity.

And that’s the best thing... maybe...?

...

The innkeeper gave us the best room in the house and flat out refused to take our money.

"You’d insult me," he said, pushing Alicia’s coins back across the counter. "You people saved my sister’s grandchildren!"

"So get some rest~! Both of you deserved it!"

I thanked him about four times, and Alicia did the same, and then we climbed the stairs together in a silence so loud I could’ve cut it into slices.

We didn’t yap a single word when we walked to this inn, and maybe... both of us are thinking the same thing while also feeling the same nervousness that could’ve killed us at any time.

And without realizing it... we already made it. To the inn room... a special one at that.

The room had a big wooden bed, a small table with a washbasin, a window with a faded curtain, and a door that led to a tiny bathing room.

It was warm and clean... plus it smelled faintly like lavender, and I hated it, because there wasn’t a single thing in it that I could use as an excuse to change the subject.

The whole atmosphere literally supports the whole situation we’ve put ourselves into.

And then... I heard the door clicked shut behind us.

"So," I said.

"So," Alicia said.

What the fuck...? We said the same thing! WE’RE REALLY THAT NERVOUS!

I sat on the edge of the bed. She sat down next to me, close enough that our shoulders touched.

For years we’d trained in the dirt and slept in barns... and also shared bad rations on the road, but fuck... I couldn’t remember a single moment where I’d felt this awkward around her.

But... as a man with pride for this kind of thing. I need to be the one who initiates it first.

"I want to be straight with you," I said, because if I didn’t say it now, I was going to lose my nerve. "My power says I need to bond with compatible female knights to get stronger..."

"And you see... It’s not just once, but probably... regularly... and probably with more than one person eventually..." I sighed. "I’m not going to pretend that part is easy to say out loud..."

"Especially to the first girl who confessed her love to me..."

"I read the panel, Roland."

"I... I know. I’m just saying that I don’t want you to think this is some kind of trade... where you give me power and I owe you something." I said with an awkward smile. "If you want to wait, or if you decide you don’t want this at all... maybe we can find another way!"

"I’d rather be weak with you than strong with you resenting me."

She was quiet long enough... to the point that the sounds of the village drifted up through the window.

Somewhere... a dog barked and a woman laughed.

Then Alicia turned toward me and tucked a long strand of golden hair behind her ear, a thing she did when she was working up the courage to say something difficult.

"I’m actually... uhm... nervous," she admitted. "I’m not going to... lie about that."

"But I’ve been thinking about my feelings for you... for a lot longer than that power has existed... and I know what I want."

"If we do this... I want it to be because I love you... and not because a glowing box told me to."

"Then it’s up to you, Alicia..." I said. "Whenever you want."

"Roland..."

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember when we were fourteen... and you asked whether I wanted to run away and join a traveling circus with you?"

"Oh shit... yeah... that was actually a great idea."

"No! It was a terrible idea, and I almost said yes!" She laughed softly, looking down at our hands. "I’ve never been afraid to follow you anywhere... and so... I’m not going to start tonight..."

I took her hand. Her fingers were still a little cold, but they held on tight.

"Are you sure about this?" I asked.

"Ask me one more time and I’m going to start charging you for every question about that..."

"Can the first payment be a kiss...?"

She smacked my shoulder, and this time she made no attempt to hide her smile. "You teaser."

After a while, Alicia stood up and gathered the folded cloths and the little bar of soap that the innkeeper had left on the table. "Alright..."

"I’m going to wash up first," she said, with the kind of dignity you only get from being very, very embarrassed. "I want to get all of this mud off... and I want to think for a minute... all alone..."

"Sure... Take all the time you need." I nodded while giving her a thumbs up.

She closed the bathing room door behind her, and the second it shut... I fell backward onto the mattress and stared up at the ceiling beams while breathing hard.

"HAH! HAH! HAH!"

My heart was pounding so hard that it hurt.

"There’s no fucking way that it was this nerve-wracking...!" I said while holding my chest. "I always see this kind of moment in any novel that I’ve read..."

"It shouldn’t be this hard that made my fucking heart beat faster and faster..."

"Maybe it’s because... it really is true love... between us."

"And I’m... going to graduate as a virgin even though in my previous life... I got no game... like at all!"

I had survived six knights that very afternoon, and I had survived two lifetimes... and I had awakened an SSS-Rank class that could apparently make me the strongest man alive.

None of it had made me this nervous.

"I’ve fought monsters," I whispered to the rafters. "I died once as well... but SOMEHOW...! This is... this is STILL THE MOST TERRIFYING NIGHT OF MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE!!!"

"I can hear you screaming, idiot!" Alicia called through the door.

"It’s nothing! I’m giving myself a motivational speech!"

"It’s not working!"

"I noticed that, thank you!"

I could hear her laughing, and a few minutes later, so did I...

By the time she came out in the plain linen nightgown the inn provided, with her damp golden hair falling past her waist and her cheeks pink from the steam, I had mostly calmed down.

I took my turn in the bathing room and scrubbed off a day’s worth of mud and blood, then came back out to find her sitting on the bed, hugging a pillow and looking at the window like it might offer advice.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! SHE’S AN ANGEL FOR REAL!

I CAN’T WAIT...! I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT TO ENJOY THIIISSSSS!!!

I sat beside her, and she leaned her head against my shoulder RIGHT AWAY without saying anything.

’She didn’t give me any preparation... like at all.’

We stayed like that for a long time, just breathing, and listening to the village settle down for the night.

"Hey, Roland..."

"Mm?"

"Anytime now..."