Chapter 44. Incorruptible Judge Ruled in Favor of the Ice Knight

Chapter 44: 44. Incorruptible Judge Ruled in Favor of the Ice Knight

A man came out of a boarded-up tailor’s shop and shook my hand for a full minute without saying anything.

A pair of old women stopped us to say that I looked younger than they’d expected.

The little boy from the doorway ran up to ask whether I could show him how to hold a sword, and his sister informed me that her wooden one was better than mine, and then the two of them started poking at each other with sticks while their grandmother scolded them.

And then, halfway down the block... a stout man in a leather apron stepped out of a half-wrecked shop and bowed so deeply that I worried he’d fall over.

"Sir Ravenshield," he said. "I want to apologize."

"What are you apologizing for...?"

"For the counter."

I looked at the shop behind him. ’What...?’

It had a boarded-up hole in the front wall the exact shape of a man being thrown through it, and I realized with a sinking feeling that it was the shop I’d gone through when Garrick Voss had hit me.

The broken door was leaning on the wall next to it. A neat row of cracked jars sat in a box on the street.

Now, hold on a minute. Why is it the one that apologizes?

"Wait," I said. "You’re apologizing to me?"

"Well, you were standing in the street, and I had a very sturdy counter..."

"Sir... I went through your front wall."

"Yes, and I’m sorry that my counter didn’t stop you more gently."

Laura started coughing into her fist, and Alicia was suddenly very busy examining the sky.

"I-It’s fine," I said, trying very hard not to laugh. "I’m sorry about the wall... Really."

"I’ll pay for it."

"Oh no, the Order is covering the damage, and anyway..." He lowered his voice and leaned in. "Honestly, we’ve been telling people that Garrick Voss himself came through that wall."

"It’s brought in a lot of curious customers."

"Great," I said. "I’m glad my pain is good for business."

He beamed at me, as though I’d paid him a compliment.

...

By the time we got out of earshot, my face was burning, and I was holding a basket of bread, a paper bag of dried apples that somebody had pushed into my hand, and a small wooden sword that I couldn’t remember being given.

Alicia was laughing so hard that she’d stopped walking, and Laura had her face turned away, shoulders shaking, trying to keep her composure and failing.

"You two are the worst," I told them. "Both of you... You could’ve saved me out there!"

"You were doing so well," said Alicia, wiping her eyes. "And we’re all having fun, right?"

"I didn’t even hear any of you say a word. And you’re usually the loud one."

"What would we have said?" Laura asked. "Please leave the hero alone; he’s embarrassed?"

"Nahhhh! That’s a good one, and that would’ve been a good start!"

"It was more fun this way."

"I’m in a relationship with two sadists... and here I am... the masochist." I said with full sarcasm.

"You are," Alicia said happily, and she tugged my right arm tighter against her side.

After a few seconds, Laura took a step closer. She didn’t say anything.

She just looked at my left arm, bandaged and hanging at my side, and she hesitated with the expression of a person doing mental sums.

Then, very slowly, she slid her hand through the crook of my elbow. She did it with the exaggerated care of someone handling an egg because of the injury underneath, and she held on to my sleeve instead of my arm.

Her fingers were stiff, and her ears were so pink that I thought I could feel the heat from where I stood.

She’s finally wanted public affection, huh? Good development right there.

"Don’t say anything," she muttered.

"I wasn’t going to."

"You were thinking about it... that smile and happy face didn’t cover it up."

"I was thinking that I’m the happiest prisoner in this entire kingdom right now."

She kept her face turned straight ahead, but I saw the corner of her mouth twitch.

"Idiot," she said, and didn’t let go.

...

The festival stalls had gone up overnight.

I don’t think anyone had planned them. They had just sort of happened, the way things do when a town badly wants to feel normal.

In a wide square near the eastern market, somebody had strung colored ribbons between the lampposts, and under them a row of little stalls had sprung up selling roasted nuts, sweet buns, cheap tin charms, and bad paintings of the barrier.

There was a juggler. There was a man with a very confused goat. And at the end of the row, there was a booth with a painted sign that read [KNIFE AND BOW!]. WIN A PRIZE!]

Alicia stopped dead in front of it.

"No," I said.

"I haven’t said anything."

"You were looking at the target the way you look at a pie."

"I’m just interested... aren’t you interested, Laura?"

I sighed. "You want to beat Laura."

"I want to find out which of us is better," Alicia said, with perfect honesty and a dangerous glint in her eye. "And you probably wanted to see who’s the better girlfriend, right?!"

Laura crossed her arms. "I am not playing a festival game just to prove who’s better."

"Heh..." Alicia scoffed with that smug smile. "Because you’re afraid to lose?"

"Remember your age, Alicia. It’s childish."

"So you’re STILL afraid to lose, eh?" Alicia’s mischievous intent starts to get bigger by poking Laura on the arm.

Laura grabbed her hand to stop her from poking. "I have never lost a target contest in my life."

"Then it should be easy for both us, right?" Alicia winked.

I watched Laura’s jaw work, and I knew exactly how this was going to go.

I’ve known people like her my whole life, people who’d walk into a burning house rather than admit they’d back down from a challenge, and the best you can do is get out of the way and sell tickets.

"You two realize I’m not allowed to take part," I said, "so I’m declaring myself the judge."

"Fine," said Laura, and she unbuckled her sword belt and handed it to me. "Hold this."

"And if she cheats, say so."

"I never cheat," said Alicia. "That’s just being a chicken."

"You cheated at the pickle-eating contest when you were nine," I told her.

"Not cheating if you call it a strategy."

...

The man running the stall was a cheerful, balding fellow with a missing tooth and a big ring of keys on his belt. He took our coins, handed Alicia a set of throwing knives, handed Laura a short bow with a quiver of blunt arrows, and explained the rules with great seriousness.

Three rounds.

Knives first, then arrows, then whoever lost one had to buy the other a bun.

The grand prize for a perfect score was a stuffed toy from the shelf behind him, and I looked up at it with mild curiosity.

It was a small white rabbit with long, floppy ears and a crooked stitched smile, and one of its button eyes was slightly higher than the other.

"That’s actually a nice design for a toy," I said.

"It’s very rare," said the stallholder, who was clearly lying. "You got taste, sir."

The knife round went to Alicia, and I swear I saw it happen in slow motion. She weighed the first blade in her fingers, frowned at it, then flicked her wrist, and the knife hit the center of the target with a sharp thunk.

The second hit right beside it. And then the third split the first one’s handle.

"How in hell did you do that?!" I said.

"Shared Knight’s Blessing," Alicia said, without turning around, and lowered her voice so only I could hear. "It gave me a lot more control over my hands."

This woman... she used our skill!

"That’s not fair to the target."

"Nothing about this is fair to the target."

Laura narrowed her eyes at the shredded wood and said nothing. She picked up the bow and drew in a long, calm breath, and her whole body went still, the way a lake goes still before it freezes.

Then she shot.

The arrow punched dead center. And the next one landed beside it.

Then came the third that struck the exact center of the first, and I’m pretty sure the stallholder’s eyes watered.

"W-w-w-wha... a-a-a p-p-perfect score...?" he whispered.

"I told you," Laura said, and put the bow down. "I never lose a target contest."

"That’s not a tie," Alicia said. "I won the first round."

"And I won the second, so it’s a tie."

"We need a tiebreaker!"

"We don’t."

"Roland!" Alicia turned around, and her cheeks were pink and her braid had come half undone. "Be the judge... Who gets the rabbit, o’ mighty judge?"

I looked at them. They were both breathing hard, and both of them were clearly having more fun than they’d had in weeks, and I understood that whatever I said... I was going to be in trouble.

But... there’s the safest option for now.

"I rule that the prize goes to Laura," I said.

"What?!" said Alicia.

"Why...?" said Laura.

"Because arrows are harder to control from a distance, and she hit the first arrow with the third one..." I said with my finger pointing at the arrow. "That’s what I called showing off the hardest skill, and showing off deserves a stuffed rabbit."

Alicia put a hand on her chest as if I’d stabbed her. "Gughhh... my first betrayal from my boyfriend..."

"It’s legally binding, and I got the authority to decide since I’m the judge." I smiled smugly.

"You got the sword belt; that’s why!"

"I’m incorruptible, thank you very much."