Chapter 602

The idea that Cthulhu was the progenitor of life on Earth—that all life on the planet had ultimately begun with the entity sleeping beneath R’lyeh—was disturbing enough that even Evenson had to stop and stare.

"Could that really be possible?"

"Why wouldn’t it be?"

The Eredar twins didn’t seem particularly concerned. They weren’t native to Earth. They weren’t even native to this universe. The origin of life on this particular planet had little bearing on them.

"Everything has an origin," Ourecilis said. "Given what we know—the place where life on Earth first appeared, the form that life took, and the way it continues to reproduce—you don’t have to like the conclusion, but Earth’s life is almost certainly influenced by Cthulhu."

She smiled faintly.

"I suppose that doesn’t exactly improve your relationship with him."

"Not really."

Evenson nodded.

If Cthulhu really was the progenitor of life, then humanity—including Evenson himself—could technically be considered his descendants.

Even before reincarnation, Ryan Mercer had been a creature of flesh.

But that wasn’t particularly troubling.

Azeroth had already taught him that such things didn’t necessarily mean much.

What race on Azeroth hadn’t been influenced by the Old Gods?

Their flesh, their emotions, their bonds with one another—all of those things were tied, in one way or another, to the curse of the Old Gods.

And yet, when given the opportunity to purge that influence and return to bodies of pure metal or stone, the inhabitants of Azeroth had overwhelmingly resisted.

That didn’t stop them from beating the Old Gods senseless whenever the opportunity arose.

C’Thun had barely opened its enormous eye before adventurers descended upon it.

Yogg-Saron had it even worse. For reasons Evenson still found deeply unfair, the poor thing was dragged out of its prison and beaten up by adventurers practically every week.

So Earth wouldn’t be any different.

If Cthulhu ever became an actual threat, there was only one reasonable solution.

Find a fishing boat.

Sail into the Pacific.

Kill the cosmic horror.

If they didn’t, and Cthulhu ever fully awakened, perhaps all life on Earth would simply return to its progenitor—absorbed back into the thing from which it had originated.

"Still, there’s one thing we can be thankful for." Evenson shrugged, trying to reassure himself. "Cthulhu may have influenced our physical form, but apparently he didn’t influence our minds."

He paused.

"Otherwise, everyone living on Earth would be a complete lunatic. Now that would be a disaster."

The twins stared at him.

Then they laughed.

"Hahaha..."

"Fufufu..."

Salorassis nearly doubled over.

"Lunatics? You really don’t think humans are insane?"

She wiped at the corner of her eye.

"Oh, I see. When a whole planet is filled with lunatics, naturally everyone starts thinking everyone else is normal."

Evenson fell silent.

That was uncomfortably difficult to argue with.

It reminded him of the classic thought experiment: ask everyone in a psychiatric hospital who the crazy person was, and sooner or later someone would point at the doctor.

"All right." Evenson sighed. "Earth is one giant madhouse, humanity is the patient population, and because we’re all trapped together, we think we’re normal."

He gestured toward the twins.

"But you’re not from Earth. You’re extraterrestrial life-forms, and we’re still able to have perfectly normal conversations."

"We’re demons."

Ourecilis spread her hands.

"Do you really think being able to have a perfectly normal conversation with a demon is normal?"

Evenson opened his mouth.

Then closed it.

He had absolutely no response to that.

Salorassis wasn’t finished.

"Look at humanity. You pursue order and reason, but when someone places absolute order in front of you, you become terrified and destroy it because you want something you call freedom instead."

She shook her head.

"Every individual does this to some degree. When those two impulses collide inside your tiny human skulls, what do you think the result is?"

"Sometimes you should listen to what beings created by the Titans have to say about your species."

Ourecilis curled her lip.

"Your thoughts contradict one another constantly. Your behavior follows almost no discernible logic."

"Emmm..."

Evenson rubbed his chin.

He thought about it for a while.

Nothing useful came to mind.

"That’s way above my pay grade. If we’re going to start dissecting the fundamental contradictions of sentient existence, I’ll leave that to philosophers."

He waved the matter away.

"But we’ve still got the immediate problem to solve. What should we do about Cthulhu?"

"Nothing."

Ourecilis answered without hesitation.

"Cthulhu was sealed away for reasons we don’t know. Whatever the reason, its influence on this world is currently extremely limited. The ideal situation is therefore simple: leave it alone."

She looked at him pointedly.

"Don’t disturb its sleep."

"That’s it?"

Evenson wasn’t entirely convinced.

"Believe it or not," Salorassis said with a smile, "that’s based on experience."

"Experience?"

Evenson smiled back.

"You say that like you’ve dealt with this kind of thing before."

"The Burning Legion has destroyed countless worlds."

There was a trace of pride in Ourecilis’s voice.

"How many of those worlds do you think contained creatures comparable to the Old Gods?"

"A lot," Salorassis said.

Her smile turned strangely sinister.

"Almost every world, you could say."

She paused.

"Don’t forget what Lord Sargeras’s true purpose was when he created the Legion. Mortals were never the real enemy."

Evenson slowly nodded.

He knew the story.

There had been plenty of revisions over the years, but after enough retcons, the basic picture had finally emerged.

Sargeras, one of the greatest of the Titans, had discovered that countless worlds were infested with Old God-like servants of the Void.

He came to believe that the physical universe was ultimately doomed to be consumed by the Void.

So he chose an extreme solution.

Burn it all down.

The Burning Legion would scour the worlds of the physical universe with fel fire, preventing the Void from using them as breeding grounds. At the same time, Sargeras would twist and corrupt the Titans he encountered, creating his own dark forces to wage war against the Void.

Once that vast crusade finally succeeded, once the Void had been driven back and the universe had been purged, Sargeras and his forces could rebuild.

New life.

A new order.

A safer universe.

As for the mortals caught in the middle...

Perhaps Sargeras considered their deaths collateral damage.

Perhaps he believed creatures already touched by the Void were better reduced to ash.

Or perhaps he simply didn’t care.

His goals were so vast that individual mortal lives might barely register in his calculations.

It was like watching two enormous giants fight.

Who would notice how many ants happened to die beneath their feet?

There was only one problem with that analogy.

Mortals weren’t ants.

The mortals of Azeroth were more like the boars outside Orgrimmar.

And one of those boars might very well charge Sargeras at the exact moment he was about to achieve victory and ruin everything with one gloriously stupid oink.

"Excellent."

Evenson’s mood immediately improved.

"I really don’t like fighting in the first place. Fighting that kind of thing is even less appealing."

Then his expression changed.

An idea had occurred to him.

A very questionable idea.

"But now that we’ve figured all this out, I have another brilliant thought."

He began rubbing his hands together.

"Our company’s main product is enhancement. We make humans stronger."

He looked between the twins.

"And now we know that all life on Earth ultimately traces back to Cthulhu."

His eyes narrowed thoughtfully.

"So..."

He rubbed his fingers together.

"If we could obtain..."

He hesitated.

"...certain biological samples..."

Salorassis’s expression immediately darkened.

"...our research could make a tremendous leap forward."

"What is wrong with you?"

Ourecilis practically launched herself at him.

She poked him hard in the forehead.

"We just said the ideal situation was to leave it alone!"

Another poke.

"And now you’re talking about cutting pieces off it!"

Another.

"You—"

Poke.

"—you—"

Poke.

"And you still have the nerve to say you’re not crazy!"

Evenson rubbed his forehead, wincing.

The woman had apparently heated her fingertip before poking him.

"Maybe we’re all crazy," he muttered. "But you know perfectly well that I follow my instincts."

He glared at her through narrowed eyes.

"How reckless do you think I am? I wouldn’t dare target Cthulhu itself. I don’t even want to mess with something on the level of a Faceless One."

He paused.

"What I’m saying is..."

Evenson raised one finger.

"...we could send two fishing boats into the South Pacific."

His smile returned.

"Maybe we could pull up a Deep One or two and bring them back for research."

The twins stared at him.

Evenson smiled innocently.

"What could possibly go wrong?"