Vol 2. Chapter 79: Welcome to the Kindergarten of Destruction! (79)
On the way to the filming set.
“‘How to Make a Miracle on Christmas’ is a short drama that will air on Christmas. The story is…”
Kim Hyena explained the drama.
The plot was simple: three children living in an orphanage talk about the gifts they want from Santa Claus the night before Christmas, fall asleep while imagining them, and wake up to find those very gifts by their pillows—a small, heartwarming tale.
They needed a lot of children because of scenes like a group meal, a group photo with the orphanage’s sponsor, and playing ball on the playground.
That’s also why Kim Hyena had said it could be filmed in an hour. The kids were just background props for these scenes, so they could be done quickly.
A short while later—
“Kids, can you stand here for a moment?”
Kim Hyena arranged the 26 children from the Kindergarten of Destruction to prepare for the group photo with the orphanage sponsor.
Having babies in the shot made it all the more convincing.
Seeing Jjongjjongi, Ddaeddae, and Aeung-i through the camera viewfinder, Kim Hyena smiled in satisfaction.
But then—
“Director, let’s shoot in 30 minutes. My Sangjun is eating right now.”
The mother of Lee Sangjun, one of the three lead roles, made the announcement—not as a request, but as a decree—ruining Kim Hyena’s ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) mood.
There were always parents like this. Believing in the fleeting popularity of their child and trying to act entitled.
Lee Sangjun had recently gained recognition as a child actor for a popular male lead in various dramas, and his mother now felt entitled to treat the newly debuted director, Kim Hyena, with disrespect.
How dare she look down on the director on set? If she kept that attitude, it was clear how Lee Sangjun’s future would turn out.
But regardless of that boy’s future, right now they had filming to do—
Time to put her in her place.
“Hoo. Manager of Actor Lee Sangjun, I clearly told you we’d start filming at 11. And I also mentioned that there’s a scene later with a meal, so it’d be better if he stayed a little hungry. Can’t you see all the other actors are ready? Bring him now. Immediately.”
Kim Hyena sighed once and spoke in a calm tone. But her voice carried a sharp chill.
“Y-yes, okay…”
Faced with Kim Hyena’s icy demeanor, Lee Sangjun’s mother couldn’t say a word and went to fetch her son.
Three minutes later.
Lee Sangjun appeared on set with a sour face, his mother in tow.
He pouted at Kim Hyena, trying to show his displeasure and act like a brat to ruin the shoot—
But it’s something we’ve all seen before. A kid who had a fight right before a class photo, pouting in the corner.
In the end, it just added to the realism.
With Kim Hyena’s charisma, the group photo scene wrapped up smoothly, and they immediately moved to a playground near the broadcasting station to shoot the ball-playing scene.
In this scene, the three leads would build sandcastles in a corner while the other children played with a ball.
“The kids are really well-behaved. Usually, it’s hard to shoot because they can’t stay still.”
When Kim Hyena praised the children for standing still on the playground—
“Yes. Our kids really don’t cause any trouble—wait, Cha-Cha!”
Sejun, answering proudly, suddenly ran off in a panic, calling out to Chacha, who was backing up to kick the ball.
If left alone, a disaster could happen. If the ball only broke the goalpost, that’d be lucky—it could smash the apartment building behind it, and the one behind that, and even destroy Earth.
“Kids, come here for a second.”
Sejun gathered the kids who were scattered around the playground and said,
“When you kick the ball, don’t use too much strength, okay? You all know what Strength Is the True Evil means, right? If you behave well, I’ll secretly give you three pieces of roasted sweet potato jerky later.”
He gave them a warning.
“Yes!!”
The kids overflowed with energy.
Thus began the ball-playing scene.
While the three leads acted out building a sandcastle—
“Strength Is the True Evil!”
Tap.
The kids from the Kindergarten of Destruction would shout the chant in unison whenever someone went to kick the ball.
“Strength Is the True Evil!”
Tap.
It looked a bit odd with them shouting some weird battle cry before kicking, but hey—Earth was safe.
“Cut! Let’s move on to the meal scene!”
Fortunately, Kim Hyena was satisfied and moved on to the next scene.
“Staff, please prepare the food for the meal scene.”
While they moved to the school’s cafeteria to prep for the next shoot—
“Great job, kids. Here, take these.”
Sejun secretly handed out three pieces of roasted sweet potato jerky to each child behind Kkamang’s back.
But there were just too many kids to keep it a secret.
Yip?! Yip! Yip!
[Where did you all get those?! All roasted sweet potato jerky belongs to the Great Kkamang! Hand them over!]
Kkamang began barking ferociously and snatching the jerky from the children.
Kihihit.
He happily stuffed his snack pouch full of the stolen jerky.
“That was from Ddan-ddan-nim…”
“Hmph… Kkamang took it from meee!”
On the other hand, the kids who lost their jerky looked heartbroken.
At that moment—
Rumble.
The sky suddenly darkened.
“Here, eat this and cheer up. Hey! Park Kkamang! Why are you stealing from the kids?!”
Sejun quickly passed out more jerky to the kids and began scolding Kkamang.
This time, it was just a moody sky shift, but Kkamang got blamed. As if his mischief caused the weather to turn.
Whimper…
Kkamang ended up dangling from Sejun’s grasp by the cheeks.
A little later—
“Director, we’re ready.”
Once the food was prepped—
“Alright. Let’s begin.”
Filming resumed.
But—
Huh? Why do their faces look like that?
The kids, who had been smiling brightly during the earlier scenes, now looked deeply unhappy.
It tasted bad…
The food was awful. Especially after they’d just had Sejun’s sweet potato jerky.
“Gomgom doesn’t wanna eat…”
“Tongtong-i lost his appetite…”
“Don’t eat it, guys. Daddy said not to eat random stuff.”
“Okay!”
Led by Taecho, the children of Destruction revved up a miniature protest.
“Ah. This is inedible.”
“The more I eat, the angrier I get. I better stop.”
Even the divine kids of Creation put down their spoons after trying a few bites.
Unaware of the rage building inside the children—
“Kids, don’t like the side dishes? Want some ham?”
Kim Hyena tried persuading them.
Shake shake.
The kids firmly shook their heads.
“Th-then how about just pretending to eat?”
“Okay…”
After convincing them, Kim Hyena returned to the camera to keep filming—
But this footage won’t work…
No matter how you edited it, it would never look tasty.
Is it really that bad?
She picked up a leftover chicken nugget the staff had prepared and tasted it.
“Tastes fine.”
She couldn’t understand why the kids hated it.
Guess I’ll ask the guardian what the kids usually like.
She went looking for Sejun.
But—
“Huh? Where’d he go?”
Sejun was gone.
The moment he saw the kids’ faces turn from hunger to rage from bad food—
This is a crisis!
He had rushed into the subspace pantry to start cooking.
Worried that the kids might snap, he cracked open the pantry door—
Queng!
[Daddy, Queng will keep watch, da yo!]
Kihihit. Yip!
[Heheh! Butler, you can count on the Great Kkamang!]
He put Queng and Kkamang on lookout duty.
After some time—
“Ah?! Something smells yummy!”
“It’s Ddan-ddan-nim’s cooking smell! Mingming knows it!”
“Hehe. Yeah. Taecho knows too! That’s Daddy’s cooking!”
As the scent of Sejun’s food drifted from the pantry, the kids perked up and smiled with joy.
We’ve got to film this!
Kim Hyena hurried to capture the moment on camera. In all her years of filming, she had never seen such a picture-perfect scene.
I can’t believe I’m filming something this beautiful.
As she was swept up in bliss filming the kids—
“Queng, open the door.”
Queng!
Vroom. Vroom.
He had packed it to use on a picnic later, but this was the time to bring it out.
Sejun drove the food truck out of the pantry. It had only been 15 minutes since he started cooking.
He quickly hopped out of the driver’s seat.
“Director, I called for a food truck, and it just arrived.”
He called out to Kim Hyena as if the truck had just gotten there.
Fufufufu. I can’t miss a single frame. I’m filming it all.
Kim Hyena, too focused on the filming, didn’t hear him.
“Wow! Food!”
“It’s Ddan-ddan-nim’s divine meal!”
The kids rushed toward the food truck.
Wait?! Kids, where are you going?!
And just like that, the filming naturally ended.
As the kids ran to the food truck and began eating—
“Oh. Was there a food truck planned today?”
“This smells amazing. I need to find out where they’re from and hire them later.”
The staff lined up with trays, chatting as they got their meals.
“Puhuhut. This was made by our great and generous hybrid Chairman Park! Spread the word, nya!”
Theo did some sales pitching.
And then—
“Huh?! The cat talked?!”
“You’re Theo, right?”
Only now did people realize that the cat clinging to Sejun’s lap was the Theo.
Iona, annoyed that girls were flocking to Theo, had quietly cast an invisibility spell—but it was broken when he started talking.
“Puhuhut. That’s right, nya! I am the right hand of the great hybrid Chairman Park…”
As people recognized him, Theo puffed up proudly and introduced himself.
But—
“The Lethal Dragon-Clawed Hybrid Golden Cat, Park Theo!”
One of the members of his fan club, the Nyangnyangdan, cut in with his usual catchphrase.
Theo’s fans—everywhere.
“Puhuhut. That’s right, nya! Now say it again—who am I?!”
Theo now seemed to enjoy it, asking his fans:
“The right hand of the great hybrid Chairman Park, the lethal dragon-clawed hybrid golden cat, Park Theo!”
“Puhuhut. That’s right, nya!”
He soaked in the cheers.
“Who am I, nya?!”
“The great hybrid…”
“Who am I, nya?!”
“The great hybrid…”
The area around the food truck had suddenly turned into a fan meet-and-greet.
“Fanatics…”
Sejun shook his head at Theo and his screaming fans, even as Theo clung to his lap. Though he himself sat at the peak of that fanatic pyramid.
A little while later—
“Puhuhut. If you’ve eaten Chairman Park’s food, time to pay up, nya!”
Having finished the fan meeting, Theo now shamelessly held out a paw to collect money from the diners.
Meanwhile—
“Hmph. What’s so good about that? Sangjun, don’t sit with those people. Top actors always eat alone.”
Lee Sangjun’s mother spoke while eating overpriced delivery food, her eyes still wandering toward the food truck.
“Answer.”
“Yes.”
Satisfied with the answer she wanted, Sangjun’s mom returned her gaze to her delivery box.
But she couldn’t stop herself from glancing back. The smell was just too good.
This food is more expensive. Expensive means tastier.
She kept repeating that to herself as a hypnotic mantra—only to deeply regret it a few days later.
Rumors spread that people who ate Sejun’s food had healthier skin and improved health. A few even awakened.
After the meal, the children who had eaten Sejun’s food re-shot the meal scene.
“Wow. So good!”
“Hehe. It’s delicious!”
This time, the filming went smoothly.
Fufufufu. More. More. More.
Although it took longer than planned since Kim Hyena refused to call “cut”—
“Ah. I’m full.”
“Now that I’m full, I’m sleepy… I wanna nap.”
“Ddan-ddan-nim, give me my blanket.”
As the kids left to prepare for their naps and disappeared from the camera view—
“Hey! Where are you going?!”
Filming ended—again, naturally.
Then—
“Heave-ho.”
Sejun snuck up to the rooftop of the elementary school, pulled out the large mat he’d packed for a picnic, and laid it out on the floor.
“Make food cloud.”
He made a shade cloud.
“Lullaby, lullaby, for our Taecho. Lullaby, lullaby, for our Mingming…”
“Ddan-ddan-nim, sing for Yamyam next.”
“Okay.”
“Lullaby, lullaby, for our Yamyam.”
“Hehe.”
“Waaah!”
“Got it. Lullaby, lullaby, for our Aeung-i.”
He sang lullabies until all the children fell asleep.
And then—
“Gwiik!”
A pig-squealing noise echoed from the sky.