Novel Full Vol 2. Chapter 68: Welcome to the Kindergarten of Destruction! (68)
Misfortune Revival Protocol.
To think it would actually come to this.
[System Eoksamchiri] had created the protocol just in case, but never expected it would really be used.
The protocol itself was quite simple:
Confront Yuren’s vanishing misfortune with extreme luck and forcefully awaken it.
In other words, Theo and Yuren just needed to meet.
Theo’s luck, in seeking greater fortune, would amplify Yuren’s misfortune.
But to move Theo, one needed to move Sejun.
“Shooting the horse to get the general… sure, but…”
The general’s horse was just too noble to touch. Untouchable by any means.
[Emergency rescue service has been used.]
So [System Eoksamchiri] used a coupon Yuren had.
Because the disappearance of Yuren’s misfortune was classified as a cosmic emergency.
“Hehe… huh? What’s happening? I’m Lucky King Yuren now!”
Yuren panicked as the ground opened beneath him and swallowed him up.
Shortly afterward—
The skies of <Earth> split open, and down plummeted Piyot, Yuren, Poyo, the other wardens, and Ditto’s subordinates: Gold, Porin, and Moeli.
Then—
Thud.
“Hehehe. Mr. Sejun, Mr. Theo, hello.”
Yuren, without falling into a pit or getting impaled in the ground like usual, landed safely with a heroic superhero pose.
Even when reunited with Theo, Yuren wasn’t hit with misfortune.
“What?! What did I just see?”
“Nya?! Did the great hybrid Chairman Park see that too-nya?!”
Sejun and Theo were both stunned.
No…
Was Yuren’s misfortune truly gone?
[System Eoksamchiri] was in despair.
Why?
I have to find out!
[System Eoksamchiri] poured all its energy into identifying the reason behind Yuren’s vanished misfortune.
Meanwhile—
“Hehehe. Mr. Sejun, is there any leftover food?”
“There’s none right now. But hang tight, it’ll be ready soon.”
Yuren was fed by Sejun.
[Pig Yuren, who still has a conscience, requests a quest to pay for his meal.]
As if it were natural, Yuren requested a quest from [System Eoksamchiri].
Even though he couldn’t make gold anymore, he was still wealthy.
Even without misfortune, his pushover nature hadn’t changed.
“Congrats on shaking off your misfortune.”
“Nya… it was a nice side hustle, though-nya…”
“Hehehe. Now that it’s gone, I plan to go home.”
Yuren, who hadn’t been able to stay in one place for long because of his misfortune, announced that he’d return to his hometown for good.
Piyot!
[I’ll go with Mr. Yuren and see him home!]
Having become close over their travels, Piyot volunteered to accompany Yuren, while the rest of the group remained at the Kindergarten of Destruction.
It was time for everyone to reflect on the next steps in their journey.
That evening, while Sejun’s group, the Destruction kids, and Piyot’s remaining companions all shared a meal—
“Hehehe. Mr. Sejun, can I lick you just once?”
Poyo, the sand fairy who devours misfortune, had gone days without a decent meal since Yuren’s misfortune vanished.
“Back off from Chairman Park right now-nya!”
Theo hissed protectively at Poyo.
At that moment—
Kkaung!
[Now’s my chance!]
Baektang, who had been eyeing Sejun’s lap, launched himself forward.
He didn’t need to think about future plans.
Because his path was already decided:
Seize Sejun’s lap!
The relentless white leopard Baektang was on the move.
Wham!
Kkaung…
And once again, Baektang was knocked out by Theo’s unyielding defense.
Nyong-nyong…
Pop-pop…
Chirp chirp…
The other wardens shook their heads in disbelief as they picked up the unconscious Baektang.
Then—
“Alright. Just one lick.”
Sejun held out his hand to Poyo. Everyone else was eating, so Poyo should eat too.
“Hehehe. Thank you, Mr. Sejun!”
Poyo hurriedly licked Sejun’s palm.
“Hehehe. Just as tasty as ever!”
Overjoyed by the rich taste of misfortune, Poyo laughed with satisfaction.
“Heheh. I just got a great business idea.”
Sejun grinned deviously at the sight.
“Nya?! What is it-nya?! The great hybrid Chairman Park’s business ideas always make me curious-nya!”
Theo’s eyes sparkled as he asked.
“The business idea is: ‘We Eat Your Misfortune.’ Poyo fills up on customer misfortune, and we fill our pockets with their money. Hoohoo. What do you think?”
It was a win-win-win business model.
“Puhuhu. Chairman Park is a genius-nya!”
Theo praised Sejun.
“Hehehe. Then I can eat lots of misfortune?”
“Of course! I’ll stuff you full!”
Delighted by the idea of feasting on misfortune, Poyo beamed brightly.
“Oh. I’ll just build the shop as a small addition inside Queng’s Café.”
Queng’s Café had a spacious garden that extended outside the building, offering plenty of room.
So it was decided: the new store would open next to Queng’s Café under the name [MisEats].
The Next Day.
“Alright, let’s go.”
“Puhuhu. Sounds great-nya!”
Queng!
Sejun went to Queng’s Café with only Theo and Queng in tow.
Then—
“Move the ground!”
Sejun manipulated the earth in a corner of the café’s garden to build a structure.
He placed it off to the side—not in a prominent spot—to give it a mysterious vibe.
If it were too easy to find, it would lose the intrigue.
Eating misfortune was still close to a superstition, after all, so the theatrics were necessary.
To enhance the mystique, he built the store in the shape of a pyramid.
“Heheh. Poyo! Don’t lick there… heheh. Just go inside for now.”
“Nya?”
“Yes, sir!”
Caught licking Sejun’s nape, Poyo scrambled into the small hole in the pyramid’s center, sensing Theo’s glare.
The pyramid had no human-sized entrance—just a small hole big enough for a hand.
It was to hide Poyo’s sand-fairy form from the public.
Once Poyo was inside—
“Poyo, stay in there and wait.”
“Hehehe. Okay!”
Sejun instructed Poyo, then crafted the store’s signage using his shaping skill:
[MisEats]
—We remove your misfortune. Insert your hand and receive a misfortune diagnosis card.
Insert your hand and the appropriate amount. Your misfortune will disappear. (Cards accepted!)
—[Consultation Required]: Please ask for the manager.
After a short while—
At 10 a.m., the shop opened, and a long line of people began arriving.
“Puhuhu. Humans, come one, come all-nya!”
Queng!
Theo and Queng greeted customers with waving paws.
“Wow! It’s Theo!”
“Queng is working today!”
“Yay! We hit the jackpot!”
Smiling brightly, visitors snapped photos of the two mascots.
Whirr…
Sejun quietly blended watermelon juice behind them.
After receiving their drinks and cakes, customers began exploring the café.
“Oh?! Mina! Heeseon! Look at this!”
“It says it removes misfortune?”
“Wanna try it?”
“Sure!”
“Mina, you go first. You trip every day and keep losing your wallet.”
“Okay! E-excuse me…”
Mina cautiously inserted her hand into the pyramid.
Oh! This one smells amazing!
Poyo drooled at the scent of her misfortune.
But per Sejun’s orders to wait for payment, he held back and instead handed her a diagnosis card—Medium Misfortune.
“Oh no. 300,000 won is too much just for fun…”
As Mina hesitated outside,
Should I have just eaten it?
Poyo wavered. He desperately wanted to lick it right away.
Then—
“Are you done yet?”
Two men approached Mina.
They were YouTubers scouting for content. Noticing the new addition at Queng’s Café, they rushed over.
“Does it tell you how bad your misfortune is? Want to bet on who’s unluckier?”
“Loser pays the winner’s fee?”
“Deal!”
They filmed each other with their phones, making a flashy bet for content.
Large Misfortune
Tiny Misfortune
“Oh! I won… wait, I lost?”
“Hehehe. Fork over the million.”
“You bastard, you planned this! I mean, you are the unluckiest guy ever. Folks, this guy’s cursed. Every time he drives, he gets into an insurance scam. When he avoids that and takes a taxi, none show up. And if he uses public transit? Boom—he ends up with a train psycho. I swear, he’s a walking misfortune generator. Let’s see if we can fix him. Alright—”
Well, at least it was good content.
The man with the Tiny Misfortune card handed his credit card to the other guy cheerfully.
And then—
“Alright, I’m going in!”
The man with Large Misfortune inserted his hand with the payment.
Hehehe. That’s 1,000,000 won.
System Eoksamchiri, please process the transaction.
Thanks for the payment! Time to eat well!
Poyo confirmed the money, grabbed the man’s hand briefly, then released it.
He wanted to lick it but Sejun had warned him: licking the customer would scare them off.
“Whoa! Something grabbed my hand! Hey? Is it done?”
“Your misfortune is gone.”
“…Okay.”
Poyo’s dignified voice echoed out, and the man withdrew his hand.
“Anything feel different?”
“…Not really?”
“Dude! My million’s gone and you feel nothing?!”
“Hey, don’t blame me. Hehehe. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Hey! Isn’t this a scam?!”
The man yelled at the pyramid.
“Your misfortune has been removed.”
“…Okay.”
Poyo’s commanding tone instantly cooled the man’s anger.
When with Sejun’s group, Poyo’s presence felt weak—but in truth, he was one of the Four Immortals, someone even Kkamang couldn’t obliterate.
No ordinary human could defy him.
“Ugh! Why did I agree to that bet?!”
The man grumbled and turned off his camera.
“I’m broke now. It’s instant noodles for me.”
“Psh. I’ve been living on noodles all week.”
“Please let this video go viral…”
They slumped down at a nearby table with their drinks.
“Damn. 1 million gone and it didn’t even work.”
“Mina, you’re lucky you didn’t pay.”
“Yeah…”
Just as Mina and her friends picked up their drinks to leave—
“Wait! Sangcheol! We’re blowing up in the algorithm!”
“For real?!”
The two YouTubers who’d just filmed began yelling excitedly.
“Yeah! We’ve already gained 500 subscribers!”
“Whoa! We passed 10k subs?! We’re 10k YouTubers now?!”
“Exactly. Hahaha! It’s all thanks to me, giving Sangcheol a million—wait a sec! So all our failures till now were your fault?!”
Watching the exchange—
“Mina, maybe we should pay…”
“Heeseon, Mina already has her card out.”
Please… take away my misfortune!
Mina ◆ Nоvеlіgһt ◆ (Only on Nоvеlіgһt) slipped her trembling hand into the pyramid.
Hehehe. It’s a light snack this time, but I’ll enjoy it!
As Poyo happily devoured her misfortune—
Kkihihit. Squeak!
[Hehe! Don’t play around! Start working the great Kkamang CEO’s sweet potato field!]
Kkamang, now acting as the boss, ordered around his subordinates and the three of Ditto’s Four Heavenly Kings—Gold the Golden Typhoon, Porin the Black Wave, and Moeli the Purple Lightning—as they expanded the sweet potato farm on the 3rd floor of the 10th Tower.