Chapter 196: I’m So Fucking Sorry, Eve

Eve stood there in the dim light of the hotel room, and she looked like she hadn’t slept either. Her eyes were slightly swollen from crying. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun. She wore one of his shirts, the one he’d dressed her in before he’d fallen asleep holding her.

For a moment, neither of them moved.

Then Dimitri stepped forward, pushed into the room, and closed the door behind him with his foot.

He looked at her face for a long time then he pulled her close and kissed her.

The kiss was hard enough that she made a small sound of surprise. Hard enough that she had to grip his shoulders to stay standing. Hard enough that she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything except feel him.

When he finally pulled back, they were both gasping.

He just stared at her face, as if she might disappear if he looked away. As if the hours apart had been a dream and she was about to vanish again.

"I’m sorry," he said, his voice rough and absolutely raw. "I’m so fucking sorry, Eve."

She didn’t respond. Just looked at him with those hazel eyes that saw too much.

Dimitri moved deeper into the room, pulling her with him until they reached the small sitting area. He sat down on the chair and pulled her onto his lap, her body settling against his, his arms wrapped around her like he could hold her together through sheer force of will.

"I need to tell you everything," he said against her hair. "Everything I didn’t tell you. And I need you to listen. Can you do that for me?"

Eve nodded, her body tense against his.

"The Covenant isn’t just a threat from the past," Dimitri began, his voice careful and deliberate. "You know that. You know they killed my mother. You know they’re connected to my father’s business. But what you don’t know, what I didn’t tell you....is that they’re planning a virus release."

He felt her entire body go rigid.

"Not someday. Not eventually. This month, Eve. Within the next thirty days, they’re planning a field test of a new bioweapon on an unsuspecting urban population. They’ve already taken two hundred and fifty people. Homeless. Undocumented. People nobody will notice are missing. They’re going to infect them intentionally, document how quickly the virus spreads, and then sell the strain to whoever pays the most."

"Oh my God," Eve whispered.

"That’s why I didn’t tell you," Dimitri continued. "That’s the lie I told myself....that I was protecting you by keeping this from you. But Mike was right. I wasn’t protecting you. I was controlling you. I was deciding what you could handle instead of trusting you with the truth."

He could feel her heart racing against his chest.

"James is infiltrating the facility. He’s volunteering as a test subject so we can map their operation from the inside. He knows he’ll probably die. He’s accepted that. And I’ve accepted it because stopping them....stopping The Covenant before they release this virus, matters more than one man’s life. Even one of my soldiers."

"Jesus Christ," Eve said, her voice shaking. "Dimitri, do you understand how dangerous that makes everything? Do you understand what you’re asking James to do? Do you understand what could happen to you if...." She stopped, couldn’t finish.

"If what?"

"If something goes wrong," she whispered. "If he gets caught. If The Covenant figures out what you’re doing. If The Covenant decides to move against you directly." Tears started streaming down her face. "You could die, Dimitri. You could actually die. And I don’t....I can’t....if something happened to you, I don’t know what I would do."

Dimitri stood up, pulling her with him, and wrapped her in his arms.

"I know," he said into her hair. "I know you’re scared. I know this is too much. I know I lied and I hurt you and I broke every promise I made you about honesty."

He pulled back just enough to look at her face, and then he started apologizing in the only way he knew how.

He kissed her forehead....soft, gentle, reverent.

He kissed her cheeks, tasting the salt of her tears.

He kissed her nose.

He kissed the corner of her mouth.

And then he kissed her mouth fully....slow at first, giving her time to pull away if she needed to.

She didn’t pull away.

Instead, she pulled him closer, her hands fisting in his hair, her body pressing against his.

The kiss deepened. Became less about apology and more about need. About missing each other. About the desperation of two people who’d been separated and were terrified of being separated again.

When she broke the kiss, she was breathing hard.

"You lied to me," she said, her voice rough.

"I did."

"You fucked me to keep me from leaving."

"Yes."

"You decided what I could handle without asking me."

"I did all of that," Dimitri said, meeting her eyes. "And I’m sorry. But Eve, I’m not sorry for loving you. I’m not sorry for wanting to protect you. I’m just sorry I did it the wrong way."

Eve stared at him for a long moment.

Then she pushed him backward toward the chair by the window.

He stumbled slightly, surprised, and she took advantage—pushing him down into the seat with both hands on his shoulders.

"You fucked me without my consent," she said, her voice sharp now. Angry. "You decided what was best for me. You treated me like something to be managed instead of a person to be trusted."

Dimitri understood what she was doing.

What she was about to do.

And his entire body responded....not with resistance, but with a hunger that came from surrendering control to her.

"So now I get to do the same thing to you," Eve continued. She reached for the wardrobe along the far wall and came back with the hotel’s complimentary robe....which she quickly untied, creating long fabric straps.

"Eve...." Dimitri started.

"Don’t," she said. "This is my turn."