Show Me the Money

Chapter 181 – A Good Mount

“What do you want then?” MarchingSledgehammer asked helplessly. Surrounded by this terrifying herd of people, the members of his squad had quickly lost all will to fight. They tried to avoid fighting as much as possible because, at this point, every level was hard to gain.

“Answer our questions, and we’ll let you go,” Fatty said as he approached them. “How long have you been here?”

“A week.”

“This is your first time?”

“Second time. Our group was massacred by a boss the first time.”

“What have you found?”

“Nothing.”

“Have you met other people?”

“Yes. We encountered two random squads. Their levels weren’t high, so we killed them.”

Fatty threw out a string of rapid questions, giving MarchingSledgehammer no time to think; and, he replied in a clear-cut manner. Evidently, he wasn’t lying.

Exchanging glances with his comrades, Fatty nodded. “You guys are free to go.”

All the members of Heavy Hammer heaved a sigh of relief, “Whew!” While they could respawn after death, no one liked losing a level for no reason. They quickly used Recall Scrolls to retreat while the two unlucky guys who were pulling the monsters’ aggro immediately died for a free return trip.

With Purple Bell as the party’s highest level at 39 and Fatty as their lowest at 36 already, the Gold bosses wouldn’t pose a threat to their party. “Let’s take care of these two first.”

Skeletal Dragon

Gold Boss

Level: 50

Attack: 130 – 155

Defense: 140

Skills: Tear, Tailwhip, Jolt

Notes: After death, the Earth Dragon’s corpse became a Skeletal Dragon. With high defense, robust HP, and sharp attacks, its only shortcoming is the inability to use magic. Nonetheless, its magic defense is quite high.

Skeletal Mammoth

Gold Boss

Level: 50

Attack: 135 – 155

Defense: 135

Skills: Trample, Crash, Collide

Notes: After death, the Mammoth’s corpse became a Skeletal Mammoth. With a massive body and dense, hard bones, it’s a very ferocious monster. Although it cannot use magic, its magic defense is quite high.

Despite the “dragon” in the Skeletal Dragon’s name, its power was only a bit higher than a boss monster of the same rank. The creature’s only strengths were its high defense and high max health. It had no magic attack, and its physical attack was only about mid-level.

The Skeletal Mammoth wasn’t any smaller than its friend. Its two tusks were about five to six meters long, appearing ferocious indeed.

One movement from either of these two was enough to set the earth trembling for a long while.

The Fat Squad quickly split into two small teams, each to deal with a monster. Of course, only experts like them would dare do it this way when faced with Gold-tier bosses. “Let’s see which team is quicker. The losers treat the winners to a meal!” Fatty shouted and flung himself toward the Skeletal Dragon.

All of the players dealing with the dragon were rogues. While their fighting technique wasn’t as beautiful as that of the other team (who released all kinds of colorful skills), all fourteen rogues attacking at once still had an imposing and solemn air.

“All together now! Deadly Poison!” The fourteen rogues didn’t vary much in strength, but each had their own approach to attacking: Some directly charged in; some flanked around back; yet others even leaped into the battle, hoping to ride the creature’s back.

“This would make a good mount.” Seeing HeadofGod sliding along the Skeletal Dragon’s spine, Fatty’s eyes shone. He caressed the Brutal Saddle in his inventory.

To the massive Skeletal Dragon, the attacks of fourteen rogues were the same as fourteen mice toying with a cat. The result was a cat furious from all this teasing.

Bang! Bang! Bang! After fourteen Deadly Poisons, someone’s luck seemed to explode as the poison finally took hold. The toxin dyed the dragon’s bones green. In a few seconds, its health dropped by 10%.

“Hah! I knew it! I’m the one with the best personality here!” bragged TheFugitive as he’d been the lucky one to successfully poison the creature.

Roaaah! The dragon opened its mouth and bellowed soundlessly, then wheeled around. The over five-meter-long tail swept out, creating chaos in its wake and razing the ground flat.

HeadofGod was quite unlucky. He’d previously fallen from the dragon’s back and hadn’t steadied himself when the boss nearly trampled him when it turned. “Ouch!” Having no time to run, he hunched up and slid through a gap between the ribs. Once there, he simply stayed and drummed at the bones.

Roargh… Roargh… The Skeletal Dragon shook its body with all its might, wanting to fling the guy off. However, HeadofGod had settled in tightly and refused to budge.

“Haha, come join in, everybody!” LeftHandofGod crouched and slipped inside as well.

“Shameless. You guys are shameless.” Han Shen was a lot more subtle compared to such shameless sorts. True to his Underworld Assassin class, he was like a ghost from the underworld, as though he wore equipment that concealed his body and revealed only his shadow. With just the slightest movement of his feet, he could travel noiselessly at extreme speeds. Every attack was strike-and-retreat, neat and clean.

“Now that’s a true assassin!” praised HeadofGod, and his eyes glowed while watching Han Shen work.

Fatty couldn’t care less whether Han Shen was a true assassin. “Hehehe…” Taking advantage of the time the dragon spent preparing a new attack, the elementalist stepped onto its back.

“Everyone, attack a little slower! Let lil’ ol’ me capture a mount!” shouted Fatty.

“Dang, now this is called ‘shameless’.” Hearing Fatty, everyone’s eyes gleamed.

TheFugitive stamped his feet as it only just dawned on him, How could I not remember? With a mount like this, it’d be much easier to hook up with chicks!

The boss poured effort into shaking its body. Boom! Boom! It could withstand something stuck in its chest, but being ridden was true humiliation to a Skeletal Dragon who considered itself a real dragon.

“Easy, babe.” Fatty’s legs tightly gripped the dragon’s spine as he coaxed it. However, the elementalist didn’t hesitate to brandish his Elemental Sword against the creature. Layer after layer of bone was sliced through and scattered across the ground.

Roaah! The dragon abruptly jumped up and violently landed. With a rumble, a strange pulsation spread outward and sent Fatty flying: The Skeletal Dragon’s skill Jolt.

Like an elegant “goose across the desert¹,” Fatty safely landed on the ground. Fortunately, the skill only knocked opponents back and wasn’t an offensive ability. However, the players stuck in the dragon’s bones were tragic. They weren’t flung away, but rattled against the bones and sent dizzy.

East Gate Blowingwind suddenly called out, “Gentlemen, need our help?” The Skeletal Mammoth had only less than a third of its HP left and quickly neared death under the squad’s assault.

“Go, Fatty, go! We can’t lose to them!” HeadofGod cheered nearby.

“Heheh, watch Lord Fatty’s mighty weapon!” Fatty once again leaped onto the Skeletal Dragon’s back and swiftly placed the Brutal Saddle on it.

“What’s that thing?”

“It seems like a saddle? That’s right; it’s a saddle.”

“Fatty’s so weird. Who subdues a mount this way?”

Amidst everyone’s jeering, Fatty finally tied the saddle to the dragon’s back. The creature suddenly shivered and shook its body even more violently than last time, desperate to knock Fatty off.

Roahhh! All of a sudden, the Skeletal Dragon raised its tail. The bony, jointed tail viciously whipped at the elementalist.

“Master, watch out!” Han Shen urgently warned. Boom! The tail brutally crashed against the spine, creating a rain of bone shards. Fatty hastily slid down the spine and fled out of the way.

“You still fine there, Fatty? If not, we just might pounce.” The rest of the squad stared with burning passion at the Skeletal Dragon, eager to try their own luck.

“Heh! It’s mine! No one can take it away.” Fatty climbed onto the creature’s back again. The boss screamed, shrieked, tossed, and turned with everything it had. But, everyone here was a rogue; setting aside the class’ low attack, their speed was no joke. The dragon’s attack couldn’t hit them at all.

“Damn it! Didn’t West say any monster will be forced to become a mount as long as the Saddle is on it? Why’s it still resisting?” muttered Fatty as he tried to dodge the Skeletal Dragon’s attacks and subdue it with the saddle at the same time.

Boooom! At that moment, a rumbling echoed close by. Pieces of bones exploded in all directions. After a savage fight, the Skeletal Mammoth had finally fallen.

“Haha, you guys lose!” Jiangdong’s LittleOverlord strode over, dragging his spear. But, upon finding Fatty on the dragon’s back, he was dumbstruck. “What’s Fatty doing?!”

“Taming a mount,” replied HeadofGod.

“Ahh! Ahh! Ahh!” Jiangdong’s LittleOverlord suddenly shrieked three times, and his face contorted with extreme pain.

HeadofGod cast the guy a strange look. “What’s wrong? Toothache?”

“Wuwu, not a toothache! Heartache!” Jiangdong’s LittleOverlord gazed at the pile of bones that was originally the mammoth and wanted to cry. “It could’ve been a great mount. Too bad it’s all in pieces!”

“Heheh, regretting it now?” TheFugitive popped up with a sleazy grin.

“Hurry up, Fatty!” bellowed East Gate Blowingwind. “You have ten minutes! If you can’t tame it by then, us brothers will just jump in!”

“Hey, heeey! What’s this? What nonsense are you shouting? If Fatty can’t do it, then it’d be our turn. Want a mount? Go back to that bone pile of yours!” HeadofGod pointed at the Mammoth’s remains.

“Head, you can’t be like that!” Xiao Jian joined the fray. “May the best one win. Let’s take turns. You guys can go first. We won’t mind going after you.”

“Humph! Don’t even think about it,” HeadofGod snorted. “If we fail the first time, we can try a second and a third time. We’ll always succeed in the end!”

“Sh*t, Head! You’re too much!” West Gate Blowingwind yelped. “Fight me bare-handed if you’ve got the guts!”

“…”

Slapping the Brutal Saddle, Fatty foolishly cried out, “O mighty Ruler of Flame West, lend me your power!” The surrounding players also helped attack to reduce the dragon’s health.

Fwoosh! Suddenly, a white light radiated from the dragon’s body. In the next moment, a ding rang out by Fatty’s ears.

System Notification: Congratulations! You have subdued the mount, Skeletal Dragon. Because you have used the Brutal Saddle, the level of your Skeletal Dragon mount will not drop. However, the Brutal Saddle cannot be removed, or your mount will revolt.

The Brutal Saddle is that great?! Fatty was overjoyed. From now on, Lord Fatty is also a stylish man. ‘Cannot be removed’? That’s fine. We can always switch to a better one.

“Look how smug he is!” Seeing Fatty riding the Skeletal with a blitheful expression, the players on the ground pouted in disdain. But, they couldn’t help but praise the dragon as well.

1. 平沙落雁 (lit. Anser birds land on the desert): A popular ancient Guqin song in the 17th century. The phrase is now used to describe something elegant, graceful or done effortlessly.↩