Chapter 197: She Loves Herself the Most

Xiao Li’s voice was calm and merciless. "You think I don’t trust you, that I’ve cast you aside, but this is who I truly am—cold-blooded, ruthless, and bloodthirsty. I may think myself rational, but in reality, I went mad long ago..."

"This isn’t the first time you’ve witnessed my methods. The Lu family, the Gao Family, Prince Chen, Wang Shiqi... You, of all people, should know that. And this won’t be the last time. In the future, as long as I live, the slaughter will not stop."

Song Junzhan’s face paled, and he looked at her with heartache. "Princess, you don’t need to paint yourself as so cold-blooded. You’re pushing me away because you want me to live, to continue the work left unfinished."

’I understand. I understand it all. Please, don’t say any more.’

"It was my fault. I shouldn’t have questioned the Princess."

His intuition told him that if she finished saying what she meant to, he would surely regret it.

Xiao Li looked at him, not quite understanding why he was so emotional.

"I admire your abilities, and I will protect you as much as I can. But I will not halt my path for you. What I do, my life and death—none of it will change for your sake."

’It’s not that I don’t keep my promises. As long as I’m alive, I will undoubtedly shelter his dreams and help him achieve his ambitions. Even if I die, the resources I leave behind will be enough for him to get what he wants from the new emperor.’

’But I don’t live for his dreams, and he has no standing to question me.’

’The one I love most is myself. Everything revolves around my own will. He is an orchid I happened to save—one I admire, like, and cultivate. But no one lives for an orchid.’

’Let alone in this world, which I’m desperately trying to leave; it would be the same even in my original world, no matter how much I might admire or adore a man.’

’I’ve endured years of torment, suffered immensely, and hovered on the brink of death several times. It took everything I had just to become the person I am today.’

’How could I possibly love a man more than I love myself?’

’I know I’m selfish, rational, and heartless. But those are the very things that have kept me alive. I’m willing to be a sober madman.’

Song Junzhan couldn’t possibly know the paranoid, maniacal depths of her heart, but he could glimpse the tip of the iceberg. Or rather, he had seen that tip long ago; he had just been too emotional this time and couldn’t control himself for a moment.

"The Princess is truly..." ’Cruel.’

He sighed, forced to accept this reality.

’It’s not the Princess’s fault. The Princess has always been like this; she hasn’t changed at all. It’s me... My admiration for her gave birth to delusions.’

’I was even so audacious, so insubordinate, as to offend her.’

SLAP!

He struck himself hard across the face. Without a word, without explanation, he stood with his eyes downcast, awaiting her sentence.

The sound was incredibly loud. Xiao Li flinched, her brow twitching. It sounded painful just to listen to.

He kept his head bowed, looking so forlorn and gloomy that he seemed on the verge of shattering.

Xiao Li was silent for a moment. "Lift your head."

His slender frame trembled, but he did not raise his head.

Xiao Li said coldly, "I don’t want to say it a second time."

Song Junzhan slowly raised his head. A bright red handprint emerged on his fair, handsome cheek. He pressed his lips together, his eyes misty.

As if ashamed of his appearance, he averted his gaze in humiliation, not daring to meet her eyes.

The sudden visual impact of his beauty swept away what little displeasure remained in Xiao Li’s heart.

’What kind of ethereal, Immortal-like beauty is this? With that broken yet stubborn look, who could bear to blame him?’

Xiao Li was a little exasperated, yet she also wanted to laugh.

"Song Junzhan, you should be glad you have a face like that." ’If an ugly man had dared to take liberties with me, he’d have been hacked into eight pieces by now.’

She raised a hand, lifted his chin, and leaned in to press a kiss on his swollen cheek.

Song Junzhan’s body shuddered. He turned his head in disbelief, but Xiao Li was already lying back on the bed.

"Don’t conceal news about me. Let everyone know that I am alive and well. And do nothing before His Majesty dies."

Color bloomed on Song Junzhan’s pale cheeks. His gaze trembled with light as he stood up. "As you command."

He took a few steps toward the exit but couldn’t help looking back. Xiao Li was lying with her eyes closed, as if everything that had just happened was an illusion. But the throbbing pain in his cheek told him it was no fantasy.

He composed himself and slowly walked out. For the first time, he felt that even the night breeze was scorching hot.

Hong Yue and Lan Yue exchanged a look. They hadn’t heard what the Princess and Mr. Song said, but they had seen the Princess kiss him.

’How should one put it? It was a little surprising, but somehow not unexpected.’

’Ever since the Princess’s personality changed dramatically last year, she has seemed flirtatious but is actually heartless and detached. Mr. Song, on the other hand, is like a cool, ethereal Immortal. While not arrogant or aloof, he always gives off an unapproachable, distant air. But when he looks at the Princess, his gaze is always filled with warmth.’

’It was certain that Mr. Song had feelings for the Princess. As for the Princess herself, none of them could see through her.’

Song Junzhan went out with that red, swollen cheek, and many people saw him. The news that spread was that the Princess had hit him.

However, some observant people noted the direction of the handprint and realized it was more likely self-inflicted.

Xiao Jingzhao sneered when he heard the news. "She’s really going to great lengths to make us believe Xuanyang is fine."

But one of his strategists disagreed. "Perhaps this is Princess Xuanyang’s goal—to make us think she’s intentionally spreading such news, when in fact she might really be fine and is plotting something."

The answer was laid right before him, but Xiao Jingzhao refused to believe it. He gave a conceited smile. "It’s not in her nature to endure something like this. If she were really fine, she would have already charged over here with her people."

Because every time they met, Xiao Li would be screaming for a fight and making an unreasonable scene, Xiao Jingzhao simply didn’t believe she had any patience, let alone that she would choose to lie low after nearly being killed.

There was only one possible reason: she was bedridden.

Xiao Jingyu was also somewhat suspicious. He didn’t know about Lu Ling’s corpse poison, only that she had been poisoned. And Cen An’s medical skills were renowned. Therefore, he was inclined to believe that Xiao Li was not seriously harmed. However, the fact that she was fine but hadn’t entered the palace to see the Emperor made him very puzzled.

He wanted to have Mu Yunzhu go see Xiao Li. After all, they had been through a life-and-death situation together, so their relationship ought to be different.

Mu Yunzhu’s expression was indifferent, but her eyes held a hint of sarcasm. "Of the groups of assassins that day, which one was yours?"

Xiao Jingyu answered truthfully, "My men were in ambush in the woods."

Mu Yunzhu stood up. "I will help you this one time only."

She prepared to leave. Just as she was about to walk out the door, she suddenly turned back and asked, "My royal father intends for me to marry you. Did you know about this?"

Xiao Jingyu was silent for a long moment before replying, "I did. But my heart belongs only to Xue Yin. Please understand."

’Mu Yunzhu didn’t feel there was anything to understand. But from this day forward, she was done with this cousin of hers.’

Mu Yunzhu took her people to the Princess Mansion, but this time she was not able to enter. She wasn’t very surprised by this outcome. She handed over a letter she had written beforehand and a sheepskin box, then turned and left with her people.

She wasn’t returning to the posthouse, but leaving the city directly to return to Chi Rong.

’She was a princess of Chi Rong. She could marry the bravest warrior in all of Chi Rong and possess the most expansive lands.’

’Her life was meant to be brilliant and splendid, not wasted meddling in the affections of others, fighting over some cousin she barely knew.’