Seeking Happiness

Chapter 46 The hidden mind

The miserable appearance of Huiyun was indeed pitiful and would make people feel compassion. If someone who didn’t know the ins and outs of the matter entered now, they would really think that Shu Huan had a poisonous heart and was maltreating a maid! Who would know that it was because Huiyun had betrayed her masters and reported to the other side that almost caused the destruction of Shu Huan’s reputation, she would be divorced and driven out of Gu residence?

The person didn’t have the heart to harm the tiger, but the tiger had the wish to injure the person!

To this point, Huiyun was still shirking the responsibility and telling half-truths and half-lies. Aside from being afraid to be punished, there was no feeling of remorse!

After having hardened her heart, Shu Huan sat down firmly. Her calm eyes stared at Huiyun, waiting for her to continue. In fact, even if she (H) didn’t say it, she could guess what benefits old madam had promised her.

To the ancient women who were restricted by virtues and who couldn’t have a career and be independent, what could be more tempting than a good man who they could rely on?

Sure enough, Huiyun couldn’t stand against the interrogation and told everything while she wept.

The benefit that old madam promised her was that after Gu Xiran had married and got a bit better, she (OM) would return her (H) slave contract, prepare a dowry for her and grandiosely make her into a concubine.

A concubine wasn’t a maid to warm the bed. A concubine had face and respect. What’s more, she was to be taken in after her slave contract had been returned. Even if she wasn’t an honorable concubine, she would be of higher status than concubine Yun. If she also gave birth to a son, then she wouldn’t have to worry about the future anymore. It was always better than being given to a servant when she reached adulthood. If that was the case, then the child she’d give birth to would also still be a slave and endure a hard and poor life.

Of course, Huiyun only said what she could say openly. The words that she couldn’t say openly, she buried them deep in her heart.

Originally, she didn’t have any admiration for the frail and sick second young master. Even if she became his concubine, she would have to worry when he would die and let her fall again from the high branch back to her original place. Because of her identity as a maid and because she was afraid that if she served poorly, she would be punished by old madam, so, she had always been carefully caring for him.

Until when he married Shu Huan, she saw his body get better day after day. There were also more smiles on his face and he wasn’t so uncommunicative and antisocial as before. Also, he showed confidence with every gesture and he got more handsome and refined every passing day. All of these made her captivated. She couldn’t control her heart from being moved. She wanted to see him every day and at every moment. She wanted to stay at his side all her life…

It was just, these changes didn’t happen because of her but they happened because of the second young mistress in front of her.

Every perspicacious person could see how much he indulged and cherished this second young mistress who came from a poor family, who didn’t even have a dowry. She was only a youthful beauty who had a lucky life!

They were all daughters from a poor family. Why could she only be a maid and in order to become a concubine, she had to rack her brain for schemes, while this second young mistress didn’t have to do anything? She didn’t even see her (SH) be respectful and fawn upon second young master, why was she able to be loved in the palm of his hands? Such a strong contrast made her unable to not feel resentful and jealous.

She felt resentful that the Heavens was unfair and jealous because she (SH) could get second young master’s love.

Huiyun was used to hiding her thoughts and never revealed her emotions on her face. If it was like this, she would just bite her teeth and endure it. After all, she had never expected to be the only one to be pampered and loved. Moreover, now she was just a maid. She only wished to keep watch every few days at the small kitchen outside of the curtain to be close to second young master. While he was asleep, she could use to opportunity when she was tucking him in to look at him quietly…

She didn’t expect that the Heavens wasn’t even willing to grant such a humble request from her!

After this second young mistress began to sleep in the main chamber, second young master no longer let people stay up at night. Sometimes, he would even act cute to let second young mistress do things like washing his face. Not to mention the medication. He would only drink the medicine brought by second young mistress instead of smashing the bowl in anger…

Second young mistress also picked two well-behaved and good-looking personal maids. She didn’t know whether she (SH) wanted to let them become second young master’s after she (SH) had lost favor. So, she could get favored again and show her virtuousness. Anyway, even such a gentle and cautious woman like concubine Yun who was the only one to be favored by second young master had fallen from grace. Such a maid like her naturally had less chance to get close to second young master.

Their love and affection were a piercing pain in her heart. So painful that she had to use all her efforts to not show anything on her face. That was the moment when she discovered that she had deviated from her original intention to come to Plum Flower Pavilion. Originally, she only wished to have a peaceful and stable life. Now, she was caught in the sad situation where love gave birth to hate and she had no way back.

When the small room in Plum Flower Pavilion caught fire, it was she who took advantage that there was no one outside in the quiet night and that everyone was in the land of dreams, to sneak out and report to old madam’s personal maid. However, she didn’t expect that concubine Yun would also stick a foot in this matter by using the outspoken Qiaoyun. This inadvertently covered for her.

It was her who spread the rumor that second young mistress was pregnant.

When she went to send the piece of cloth to Shu family, she inquired a bit about that young scholar who taught her (SH) how to read. She also heard a bit outside of concubine Yun’s chamber. Then, she reported it to old madam. It was a pity that there was only a sachet. There wasn’t much to show the affair. Second young mistress cut her wrist in front of old madam to show her chastity and easily touched old madam’s heart. Instead, it was concubine Yun who got reprimanded for being meddlesome.

The repeated failures made her resentment deeper. When she found out it was fake that second young mistress cut her wrist and had been taken out for a stroll by second young master, she couldn’t stand it anymore.

She knew that old madam hated it the most when someone deceived her. If old madam got to know about this matter, she could borrow old madam’s hand to completely push second young mistress outside of Gu household and let her disappear forever from second young master’s life!

She had always been cautious. The first two times that Zisu came over, when she found out that she didn’t have a way to pass the information, she could still keep her composure. When Zisu came for the last time, she felt that she would waste the opportunity if she missed this time. She had to take the risk and thought that even if she was discovered by concubine Yun, concubine Yun would remain silent because they had a tacit mutual understanding.

She calculated everything, but didn’t count on that second young master would give concubine Yun a reminder before leaving; if something happened, concubine Yun would bear the full responsibility. Such a clever person naturally would refuse to take the blame for her. Moreover, concubine Yun was already angry at her because of the matter of the sachet. Things had evolved to such an irremediable state…

Huiyun cried on the ground. She wasn’t remorseful. She was afraid of how she would be disposed of. If she was beaten, she could grit her teeth and endure it. If she was sold, she would be consigned to eternal damnation.

Shu Huan didn’t know that she (H) had so many hidden thoughts that she didn’t say out loud. Even if she (SH) could guess it, she would have to waste a lot of energy to guess them step by step. She didn’t have the hobby to waste her brain cells on such obscure things. She also didn’t like to let other people’s negativity affect her relatively clear and bright state of mind. Hence, she only looked at Huiyun for a short moment and asked Gu Xiran, “How to deal with her?”

Gu Xiran wasn’t sure about Huiyun’s out of the ordinary feelings towards him. However, he could sense them a bit. He felt that it was really dangerous to let her stay by his side. He didn’t want to see something happen to Shu Huan again. So, he just said, “Sell her.”

Those words coming from his mouth was a big blow to Huiyun. She knelt on the ground and didn’t even have the strength to beg for mercy. She only felt very painful in her heart. When the corner of her eyes swept over the broken porcelain, she immediately reached out and wanted to pick it up…

However, Shu Huan had been paying attention to her. When she saw Huiyun’s hand move, she (SH) immediately swept away the broken porcelains in front of Huiyun with her foot. Then, she said, “Go marry someone. You don’t have to learn from me to cut your wrist!”

That was a desperate attempt of Huiyun which exerted all her strength. After being interrupted, she didn’t have the mind to try again. After all, suicide also required a great deal of courage. She could only cry on the ground. She heard Shu Huan faintly say to concubine Yun who came in with tea, “Call someone to sweep the broken porcelain from the ground. I don’t want to get the reputation of forcing a maid to death for someone!”

When the words fell, Huiyun raised her eyes astonished. Through her tears, she saw the face of concubine Yun that had turned pale.