Seeking Happiness

Chapter 18 Intimacy

It was deep in the night. The moon hung in the sky.

Shu Huan sat in front of the dressing table and looked at the delicate handmade golden bracelet in her hand.

She used to think that jewelries made of gold were tacky. But the light that came from this pair of bracelets under the light would obviously make people exclaim in admiration. To the present her, whether a jewelry was beautiful or not wasn’t the most important thing. The most important thing was its value. This pair of golden bracelets was heavy in her palm. It gave her a lot of security.

Presumably most of her future would depend on them!

Shu Huan sighed and put the pair of golden bracelets in a rosewood jewelry box. Then, she picked up that jade annulus that symbolizes good fortune and looked at it.

Just then, behind her came the sound of the curtain being lifted. She panicked and quickly put the jade in the jewelry box. Then, she closed the lid.

The one who came in was Gu Xiran. She could hear the laughter in his voice, “You looked at them the whole night. Is it still not enough?”

It seemed that she had long been discovered by him!

“Not enough!” Shu Huan’s face reddened and she still pretended that nothing was the matter, “I came from a poor family and am short-sighted. I’ve never seen such valuable things. Naturally, I have to look longer at them.”

Gu Xiran revealed a profound smile, “When women like money, usually it’s because they lack sense of security.”

Shu Huan wanted to refute. She opened her mouth but found out that she couldn’t refute him.

His words were somewhat reasonable. At least, that was the case for her.

Yi Shu said in her book “Loving Jewel”: I have a lot of love. If there’s no love, then I have a lot of money. If neither is available then, health was also great.

• • Yi Shu is a popular Hong Kong writer.

In the past, she possessed many loves from her parents, families and friends. These loves made her life worry-free.

Now, she only had health left. Although, she didn’t lack food and clothing for the time being, but those were given by others. She had to exchange self-respect and freedom for them. If one day, the other party doesn’t want to give anymore, he could retract it any moment. He didn’t even have to give her a reason and explanation. Then, aside from accumulating a bit of valuable things for herself to leave a way out for her, what else could she do?

After all, she didn’t have a long-lasting sense of security.

It happened that hard work and relying on oneself was useless for the women of this age. It made it impossible for her to even find a sense of security in a career.

Shu Huan’s enthusiasm came to an end. She pushed the jewelry box onto the end of the dressing table and stood up.

“Come here.” Gu Xiran leaned against the bed rail and beckoned at her with his index finger.

Shu Huan lowered her eyes and walked obediently to him. “Does second young master want to drink tea?”

Gu Xiran shook his head and looked at her for a moment. Suddenly, he grabbed one of her hands and pulled her into his arms.

This was too unexpected!

When she was pulled into his arms, Shu Huan smelled a faint smell of medicine. She didn’t recover her senses yet, when his chin came close to her ear. He used a very low voice to slowly say, “When two people are together, would you feel more sense of security being like this?”

There was a subtle trace of seduction in his voice as if it had a hypnotic effect.

While she was absent-minded, she had been turned over and pressed down by him.

Panicked, Shu Huan wanted to reach out and push him away. However, although, he was weak from the illness, the weight of his body was still there. She pushed for a bit, but couldn’t push him away. She saw his eyes smile at her full of seduction.

This smile was like a ripple, making her heart and soul shake.

Only in this short moment of absent-mindedness, his handsome face lowered to hers…

Shu Huan’s body tensed nervously and she hurriedly said, “Don’t…”

The voice was very low. So low that it seemed like she was begging.

Gu Xiran hesitated for a moment. The kiss that was supposed to fall on her lips landed on her forehead.

It felt slightly warm.

After the kiss, Gu Xiran pushed up his body slightly up. His finger played with the belt of her robe. He looked at her in the eyes and asked with a somewhat hoarse voice, “You don’t want?”

From the moment that Shu Huan was born till now, this was the first time she had been so close to a man. What scared her the most was that she didn’t feel disgust at his closeness to her! She only knew that she was very nervous. So nervous that she felt a bit overwhelmed. At this time, she couldn’t even speak. The only things she could do was shake her head and shake her head again.

Of course she wasn’t willing!

One step further was a consignation to eternal damnation!

If it was someone else; someone who didn’t make her feel so much danger, she might’ve consider surrendering her body if there was no way out, become that person’s wife and then ignore his existence and live her peaceful days.

But Gu Xiran wouldn’t do!

She felt something unclear towards him. An unclear sense of familiarity. Besides, she felt that he was very dangerous. So dangerous that there was a possibility that when she surrenders her body, she might surrender her heart together with it.

Once she had formed feelings for him, she couldn’t ignore his matters anymore. Love was something selfish. She would want to monopolize him. She would become a repulsive and jealous wife. In the end, she would suffer, he would suffer, and others would suffer!

“Not willing!” After shaking her head for a while, she gradually regained her senses. Although, the words that came out were like the voice of a mosquito.

Gu Xiran’s look was hidden with depth. She didn’t know what he was thinking. He played with her belt and looked at her for a long time. Finally, he let go and his lips curved up a bit, revealing a faintly mocking smile, “You said you don’t want to. Later, don’t say that I was inhuman.”

The voice was low and had infinite seduction in it.

Shu Huan recalled the conversation in the yard at noon. She suddenly blushed. She said angrily from shyness, “Get up quickly!”

Gu Xiran hadn’t moved yet, when the sound of the curtain being lifted was heard. Concubine Yun came in with a smile, “Second young master, I made nourishing soup…”

She didn’t finish speaking and was already silent.

Shu Huan looked at the entrance. She saw that concubine Yun froze there with a face of astonishment and helplessness. That astonishment became grief and resentment. Her long eyelashes trembled, and she couldn’t control her eyes from becoming red.

Shu Huan was very speechless!

Shu Huan had the feeling of being caught in an adulterous act in bed! Although, her identity was there and she didn’t have to explain anything to concubine Yun, she still felt very awkward. Her face became redder. Flustered, she pushed Gu Xiran.

At this time, Gu Xiran didn’t move anymore. He didn’t even turn his head. He only said faintly, “Put the soup on the table. Next time when you come in, remember to announce first.”

“Yes,” Concubine Yun’s voice was so low that it hardly could be heard.

It could be imagined how embarrassed and hurt she must feel. Shu Huan turned her gaze and didn’t look at her anymore.

It was so embarrassing. She didn’t dare to move and looked at Gu Xiran like this. She didn’t know how much time had passed. It seemed to be just a moment, but it also felt to be forever until the room was quiet again and there was no more sound.

Only now did Gu Xiran smile faintly and let her got up.

Shu Huan panicked went to the other side of the bed and held the quilt. She looked at him with a bit of vigilance: This bastard was really abominable. The moment he found out that his body was not sick anymore, he turned into a lecher!

Gu Xiran laughed in spite of himself, “Why are you being like this? I haven’t forced you.”

“You attacked sneakily! Too shameless!”

“Did I?” Gu Xiran showed a face full of innocence. “Didn’t I give you a prior notice a long time ago?”

That was also considered a notice?

She had long forgotten the matters that happened at noon!

Forget it, let’s not keep tangling on this matter. Shu Huan changed her tone and probed, “Can I change places to sleep?”

Gu Xiran didn’t even think about it. “No!”

“Why?!”

“There are no more empty rooms. Or, why don’t you go sleep with Yun Yan in the West Chamber?”

Impossible!

Shu Huan shook her head. Concubine Yun probably hates her to death now. If she went over, then she really was blind.

“See, it’s that you are unwilling. It’s not that I don’t let you go.” While Gu Xiran said that, he ignored the bowl of nourishing soup concubine Yun brought in, took off his outer robe and blew out the candle.

Shu Huan sat in the dark and didn’t move.

After a while, she heard Gu Xiran say, “If you don’t lie and sleep now, I will repeat what I have just done to you. This time, I will not stop.”

A clear threat!

Fortunately, after living together these past three days, Shu Huan knew that he wasn’t a despicable person. From the meaning of those words, she understood that he no longer had the intentions to make things hard for her. She obediently lay down on the bed. However, her body was still close to the wall and far away from him.

If the mind was too tensed up, it was easy to get tired. Although, she told herself not to fall asleep before Gu Xiran fell asleep, in the end, she unconsciously fell asleep. She didn’t know that Gu Xiran came closer to her in the dark. He gently wrapped a finger around her hair and played with it. He said in a low voice, “If there isn’t you at my side, I also don’t have a sense of security…”