Chapter 185 - 184: What is love?

Eleanore meets his gaze, and something in her chest tightens fondly at how certain he sounds. "I’m just thinking."

"About what?"

"Something I can’t quite put into words."

"Like what?"

She smiles against his skin, considering. "A lot of things. Like how strange this all is, a good strange, I mean. It’s almost too good for us. Sometimes I forget to be suspicious of it."

"We’ve come a long way." His arm tightens slightly around her, grounding her. "Still, I like the peace. I’ve earned the right to enjoy it, haven’t I?"

"Don’t you think it’s a little too peaceful, though?" she asks, tracing idle patterns against his chest, unable to fully let go of the thought.

Caelestis furrows his brow, tilting his head down toward her. "What do you mean?"

"I don’t know. It just feels strange. Like the calm before a storm."

"I won’t deny that," he admits, his arm tightening around her again, some of the humor draining from his voice. "Things have been far too quiet for people in our position." He laughs, though it carries a faint edge of unease beneath it. "How is it no one’s tried to kill us yet?"

"Goodness." She hit lightly on his chest. "Don’t even talk about that. Out of all the things on my bucket list, that is nowhere to be found."

"That’s fair." He hugged her tightly. "We have a long life ahead of us, and I want to enjoy it with you and perhaps have some little ones identical to you."

Eleanore shifts her weight over his chest. "That’s not half bad." She played with his hair. "Children would make our life happier."

"I’d love that too," he said, his voice softer than she’d ever heard it. "To be honest, I used to think I wasn’t the kind of person who’d make a good father, given everything with how twisted I’ve been. But somewhere in the last few months, watching you handle all of this chaos with more patience than I could ever manage, I think I’d actually like to try. With you."

"That’s good to hear." She pressed her finger over his nose.

He curled his hand around her back. "Eleanore, I want a life with you. All of it, the mess, the quiet mornings, eventually a house full of children who’ll probably inherit your stubbornness and make my life considerably harder."

"They’d inherit your recklessness too, so we’d be even."

"A terrifying combination."

"Absolutely terrifying," she agreed, smiling.

"How many, do you think," he asked after a while, half teasing, half genuinely curious, "would be enough?"

"I haven’t decided. Ask me again once I’ve survived meeting the first one."

"Fair."

"Though," she added, resting her hand over his chest, "I’d like at least one who takes after you. Someone stubborn enough to argue with me properly. Living in a house full of people who simply agree with everything I say sounds unbearably dull."

"I don’t think that’s a risk, given the parentage involved."

"No," she agreed, laughing quietly. "Probably not."

A knock landed on their door, sounding urgent. Eleanore tried to get up, but Caelestis pulled her closer, still lying in bed, not budging an inch.

"What is it, Victor?" Caelestis asked.

"Duke. You need to examine this report sent from Zhipher." Victor’s voice sounded urgent, clipped with impatience.

"I’ll do that later." He smiled, turning back to Eleanore.

"No, we’ll soon be having a meeting with the king over this." Victor argued.

Caelestis groaned, pressing his fingers against his forehead. "Then tell the royals I’ve died."

"Caelestis." Victor’s voice came again, more insistent now. "Can you stop this, please?"

"I’m not leaving," Caelestis said, his voice carrying just enough stubbornness to make Eleanore laugh. "Whatever it is, it can wait ten more minutes."

There was a pause from the other side of the door, followed by what sounded suspiciously like a long, exasperated sigh. "You do understand that I left all my work to come get you because you wouldn’t listen to a damn knight?"

"Then you understand why I’m not coming. I thought you were smarter than that."

Another pause, and then, muffled through the wood, Victor’s voice again — this time carrying something warmer beneath the exasperation. "For what it’s worth," he said, "I’m glad things are good between you two now. It’s been a tough few months for me."

Eleanore felt her chest warm at that, glancing at Caelestis, whose expression had softened as well.

"That being said," Victor continued, his tone snapping immediately back to brisk irritation, "get out of that damn room before I have this door taken off its hinges. The king and his court aren’t going to wait just because you two decided today was the day for pillow talk."

Caelestis let out a long, defeated groan, dropping his head back against the pillow. "I hate that he’s right."

"He usually is," Eleanore said, backing him up.

"Don’t tell him that. It’ll go straight to his head."

He pressed one last lingering kiss to her forehead before finally, reluctantly, pulling himself out of bed, dressing with considerably less enthusiasm than the conversation moments earlier had carried. Eleanore watched him from beneath the blankets, chin propped on her folded arms, enjoying the small, ordinary domesticity of it more than she probably should have — the way he fumbled slightly with one cufflink, the low mutter under his breath when his boot refused to cooperate.

"You’re staring," he said, without turning around.

"I’m allowed to stare. You’re my husband."

"That’s not actually how staring works, but I’ll allow it." At the door, he paused, glancing back at her with a small, genuine smile.

"Later," he said. "We’ll talk more about it later."

"Sure."

The door clicked shut behind him, and moments later she heard Victor’s voice fading down the hallway, still scolding him about something.

Eleanore lingered in bed a while longer, unwilling to rush the rare luxury of an unhurried morning, before finally rising and dressing with Marina’s help, the two of them falling into the easy, practiced rhythm they’d built over the past months.

"You seem lighter today, my lady," Marina observed, working a comb gently through Eleanore’s hair.

"I feel lighter," Eleanore admitted. "It’s strange. I’d almost forgotten what it was like, not bracing for the next disaster."

"I hope this peace lasts longer this time."

"May god listen to you," Eleanore said, smiling faintly.