Chapter 355: You Didn’t Ask For Any Of This

The tears came without warning.

Sebastian had been holding them back for two days. Had been staying strong for Lucian and Nicholas. Had been functioning because someone needed to and crying would not save her.

But now, alone with her in the grey light of afternoon, the dam broke.

"You didn’t ask for any of this," Sebastian said through his tears. "You came to us to clear up your father’s debt and we gave you three bond marks and a death curse instead. We ruined you. And I...." His voice cracked completely. "I would take it all back if I could. Would walk away from you the first day we met if it meant you got to live. But I can’t. I can’t take back the bonds or the curse or any of it. And now you’re dying because of choices we made."

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently.

"Please wake up," he whispered. "Please, Lilith. I know you’re tired. I know you’re scared. I know the curse is eating you alive and fighting it is exhausting. But please...just hold on a little longer. Victoria is researching. Nicholas is coordinating with the Guardians. We’re all doing everything we can to find a way to save you."

Through the bond he felt nothing. No response. No acknowledgment. Just that terrible fading distance that grew worse every hour.

"I love you....I love you so much," Sebastian said. "I should have said it more. Should have made sure you knew every single day. But I love you. And I can’t...." He stopped and pressed his forehead against her hand. "I can’t lose you. I don’t know how to exist in a world where you’re not in it."

Rhen was howling in his chest....a long mournful sound that had nothing to do with the curse and everything to do with their mate slipping away.

Sebastian had always thought the curse would be what killed them. Thought they would go feral and hurt people and die as monsters.

But sitting here watching Lilith die slowly while he could do nothing to stop it.....

This was worse than going feral.

This was dying while still breathing.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Sebastian asked quietly. "You came to the estate looking terrified and trying to hide it. Wearing that ridiculous gown."

He smiled despite his tears.

"I knew the moment I saw you. Rhen knew. Before you even spoke, before you looked at me, I knew you were mine. Ours. Meant for us in ways I did not understand but felt in my bones."

Sebastian traced his thumb across her knuckles.

"You’ve been brave since the beginning," Sebastian said. "Braver than any of us. Walking into the estate even though you were terrified. Letting us mark you even when you were not sure. Fighting Thalia when you barely knew how to use your power. Facing impossible choices with more grace than we deserved."

His voice dropped to a whisper.

"So be brave one more time Lilith. Wake up. Fight this. Come back to us."

He waited.

Counted her breaths. Watched her chest rise and fall. Felt the bond between them stretching thinner and thinner.

And Lilith didn’t wake up.

Sebastian sat with her until the light outside faded from grey to dark. Until his back ached and his eyes burned and his throat was raw from talking to someone who couldn’t hear him.

Finally, reluctantly, he stood.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead....gentle and filled with everything he could not say.

"I’ll come back," he promised. "In a few hours. Lucian’s taking next watch and then Nicholas and then me again. We’re not leaving you alone. Ever."

He forced himself to walk to the door.

Forced himself to leave even though every instinct screamed to stay.

In the hallway, he found Lucian waiting.

His youngest brother looked like hell....dark circles under his eyes, jaw tight with tension, hands clenched so hard his knuckles were white.

"Any change?" Lucian asked.

"No," Sebastian said.

Lucian nodded like he had expected that answer. "Go sleep. I’ve got her."

"Lucian..."

"I know," Lucian interrupted. "I know she’s dying. I know there’s nothing I can do. But I’m sitting with her anyway because leaving her alone feels like giving up. And I’m not giving up. Not yet."

Sebastian squeezed his brother’s shoulder and walked away.

***

Lucian lasted exactly fifteen minutes sitting still before he had to stand up and pace.

The chair. The stillness. The helplessness of just sitting there watching Lilith die....

He couldn’t do it.

So he paced.

Back and forth across the room. Window to door to window again. Over and over until he had worn a path in the carpet.

Zev was going insane in his chest.

Not the curse-driven madness they had all grown accustomed to over the years. Something worse. Something that came from feeling their mate dying through the bond and being unable to do anything to stop it.

"We’re losing her," Zev howled. "Can’t you feel it? She’s slipping away and we’re just standing here doing NOTHING."

"What do you want me to do?" Lucian snarled out loud. "Fight the curse? I can’t! Save her with sheer force of will? That’s not how this works!"

"Then find someone who CAN save her," Zev demanded. "Victoria. Nicholas. The Moon Temple witch. SOMEONE. We can’t just watch her die."

"You think I don’t know that?!" Lucian spun and slammed his fist into the wall hard enough to crack the plaster. Pain exploded through his hand but it was nothing compared to the agony of watching Lilith fade. "You think I’m not desperate? You think I wouldn’t tear apart the world to save her?!"

"Then DO IT", Zev growled. "Stop pacing. Stop breaking walls. AND DO SOMETHING!"

Lucian stared at his bloodied knuckles and felt something crack inside him.

He moved to Lilith’s bedside and dropped to his knees beside her.