Chapter 111: Sadie: Anyone But Trey

It’s my birthday today, November 1st! ???? Thank you for reading this far and loving Sadie and Trey. You’ve made this journey so special to me. Bless my day with your Moon Tickets and Power Stones—I’d love some birthday love from you! ??

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SADIE

The amount of thinking I do over every little thing in my life makes me wonder if I chose the wrong major. Maybe some of this would be useful in psychology, but that’s for someone like Lola, who actually has a passion for it.

All it does for me is make my head feel swollen, like one more thought might be enough to make it explode.

Lying on her bed, I tap my pen against the notebook in front of me. Lola sits on the floor with her legs crossed and her laptop balanced on them, looking far more productive than I feel.

A sigh leaves me as my thoughts start circling again. Mara Ellis. Why hasn’t she responded? The orphanage. Should I go this weekend? Trey. Is he preparing for the Trials next week?

Hold on.

I shake my head. How did that last one sneak in? I’m supposed to be worrying about my own life.

Seriously, there should be pills that make people forget their worries, or at least let them concentrate on one thing at a time. Wait. There probably are. I just don’t do drugs.

With a groan, I bury my face in my palms.

Contrary to what Lola thinks, I’m happy Ngozi confirmed I’m not an omega. The news does take a few things off my shoulders. No more depending on anti-rogue medication, for one, although a small part of me would feel better getting another shot this month. Just to be sure. My head understands I don’t need it. The rest of me needs a little more convincing.

But beyond that, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I can’t exactly tell everyone I’m not an omega anymore. What would that involve? Printing flyers and handing them out? It’s ridiculous, but I’m almost willing to try if it gives me the satisfaction this news was supposed to come with.

"Don’t pull your hair out on my bed."

Slowly, I lift my head from my palms and look at Lola. "I’m going through a crisis here."

"Finish my statistical analysis before going through it. Thank you."

I glare at her. The only thing saving her from the pillow beside me is that she helped get my things from Trey’s apartment.

"Do you think I should go back to the orphanage on Saturday?" I ask. "Honestly. What would you do?"

She looks up from her laptop. "Yeah, I’d go. I’d be there right now if I were you, digging up answers like a squirrel."

"But it’s not like they keep specific records. I was dumped there."

"Okay, but it’s still the best place to start." She grunts. "Mara isn’t responding. She could take ages. For all we know, she’s dead."

"Lola."

"What? You don’t know." Her shoulders lift in a shrug. "The matron’s there. You can ask her questions instead of waiting around for someone who might never answer."

I’m very aware of my limited choices, even without that cheerful reminder.

"Will you come with me?" I bat my lashes at her. "Pretty please?"

Another grunt is all I get before she gets up, laptop in hand.

I’m tempted to snatch it from her. She’s either on that thing or her phone, and yes, I know her research is eating up every bit of her time, but I’d like to have one conversation without competing with a screen.

When she comes over to the bed, I scoot aside to make room.

"Sure, I’ll go with you. But we need a male figure."

"A male figure?" I scrunch my nose. "I’ve heard of a father figure. What’s that?"

"A guy. A dude, Sadie." Her mouth spreads into a grin. "It’s safer to go that far with one. We don’t even know what time we’ll be coming back. We need backup."

"We can manage without anybody else. We’ll leave really early, get there by noon at the latest, spend three hours max, and be back before eight. Easy peasy."

She tuts. "We don’t have a car."

"We could rent one."

"With whose license? Mine’s expired, and you’ve never had one." She raises a brow.

My confidence dips a little, though I’m not ready to abandon the schedule over it.

"And the people I can ask to drive us are guys," she continues. "Grace is spending the weekend at her boyfriend’s, so she’s out. Trust me, you don’t want to spend four hours in a taxi or on public transportation."

"I’m not complaining." I might eventually, but as long as we get there safely, four hours of being uncomfortable won’t kill me. Judging by the way her face scrunches, Lola doesn’t like that.

"Let’s find someone willing to drive us, babes. Seriously, haven’t you been reading the stuff on Insta? More people are turning rogue, and I swear, if I get bitten before I’ve finished my bucket list and visited Shanghai, Tokyo, and Seoul, I’ll bite you. Then I’ll find your biological parents and bite them too."

A scoff leaves me. That’s one overzealous and efficient rogue. "Fine. But who are you planning to ask? I don’t want anyone else finding out about this."

Her phone is already in her hand. "Trey."

"Excuse me, what?" My mouth falls open. "You’re texting who?"

There’s still a chance she’s joking. I hold on to that until she unlocks her phone and opens Trey’s contact, at which point I lean closer to confirm that she really is doing this in front of me.

"Trey," she says patiently. "He already knows what’s going on, and he has cars. Cars, Sadie. He’s the best person for the job."

I snatch the phone before she can type anything. "No, let’s think about this properly. You’re not texting him."

Lola sits up, one brow rising. "Okay. Who else do you think would be better?"

"Have you lost your marbles?" I smack her forehead, and she makes a small, offended sound. "Get out of my best friend. Whoever you are in there, get out."

She scoffs and flicks my forehead in return.

"Ow!" I cover the spot and glare at her.

"Give me back my phone."

"Have you forgotten I’m not talking to him?" I keep it out of her reach. "Why would you even suggest asking him?"

"Because I’m the one asking. Not you."

"Like that makes it less awkward to sit in a car with him for four hours."

"Put your earphones in. Listen to music." She shrugs. "You don’t have to talk to him."

"Do you hear how insane you sound? He won’t even listen to you."

"I bet he’ll be more than happy to come." Her hand stays outstretched between us. "Tell him you need him tonight, and he’ll come running."

My lips part, but nothing comes out. I can’t possibly be running out of things to say while Lola is trying to do this. Wasn’t she the one going on about wanting to kill him? Now she wants us in a car with him all the way to Helena’s Children’s Home?

No way. Absolutely no way.

"Don’t text him, Lola. Ask anyone else. Literally anyone but him. I made a whole point of not wanting to see him."

"Come on. Think about it." She shifts closer. "He’s available, and I’m sure he’ll be on his best behavior. You don’t have to talk to him, okay? I’m asking him on my behalf. Besides, think about how it’ll sting him if he shows up and you don’t even look his way." She waves a hand. "Which is fine. Totally fine. Just act like he isn’t there."

I sigh, pulling at the ends of my hair before narrowing my eyes at her. "You’re being weirdly pushy about this."

Lola shrugs. "I’m being practical."

"Did Trey say something to you when you went to his apartment?"

"No." Her gaze drops a beat too fast. "Why are you overthinking this?"

Because she isn’t me. She didn’t tell him she wanted space, and she isn’t the one still trying to figure out how she feels about everything. I understand what she’s saying, though. She’ll be inviting him on her behalf, so technically, seeing him won’t mean I’ve changed my mind.

Right?

It’s not like I’ll turn into a shower of sparkles and forget why I’m angry the second he shows up. I can sit in a car with him for a few hours without making conversation. I’ve spent entire lectures ignoring people right beside me. There’s no reason I can’t apply the same skill here.

I look down at the phone before tossing it back to her. "Fine. You can invite him. But make it very clear that you’re asking. Not me. And he doesn’t talk to me. Not once."

Lola catches it. "Deal. He’ll stay out of the way."