“How Do You Ask a Slime Girl to Prom?” (62.9) (Kalei)

"They seriously all made out, huh?" Marmalade said.

"Yep," I said. "I was hoping she'd just like say something nice when I told her to grow, but then."

"Then they made out! Like right in front of us! Kissing like...two feet away!" Marmalade said. "They like tongue kissed, what the hell?"

I didn't want to mention that Marmalade had said all of this about five times since we saw Ovie, 09, and Risa swap kisses. I wasn't sure what I felt about that outside of surprised. Risa was probably my first crush, but that never really blossomed, so I wasn't sad about it at least. Just kinda...shocked and weirdly empty.

"So...this Raytris," I was barely keeping up with Roux's power walking. We evaded some nosy chaperones and managed to sneak into the woods, but we hadn't seen any sign of Roux's new friend yet. "What's her deal?"

Roux scoffed. "Koridia."

They just kept making annoyed noises.

"What?" I asked.

"Koridia."

"Yes?" I asked.

"I think Roux might be in focused mode," Marmalade said.

I'd known Roux for a long while, way longer than Marms, but I was struggling to think of a time I'd seen them look all determined like that.

"You really like Raytris, huh?" I said.

"Koridia, get real," Roux rolled their eyes.

"Um, OK," I said. "Are you saying you don't like this person that you're chasing into the woods? Want me to ask something like...'How well do you actually know her?' I am actually curious about that."

"I was there when she arrived in this hellish world we call home," Roux said. "We have had brief interactions since, but I would hope to one day consider her a friend. And to ask her to the dance. Mission objectives I've already been over, that you would remember if you weren't more interested in wading through Ovie's relationship issues and influencing her to either fix them or have even more!"

A second later, they whapped me across the face with a rolled up magazine. I think it was from that Blocktritus robot toy but I only got a brief glimpse of it right after it was smacked against me.

"Where the hell did that come from?" I asked.

"It's always wise to keep a rolled up magazine somewhere on your person," Roux said.

"So you can hit your friends with them when they bring up really good points?" I asked.

"For all kinds of situations," Roux sniffed at the air. "Hold on!" They rushed forward, leaving Marms and I with little choice but to follow. A few trees away there was a guy looking up a tree, throwing rocks and stuff upwards.

Roux brandished their magazine again and without any hesitation started smacking this dude like they did to me. It was a guy with a scraggly beard, who crab walked away at Roux's attack.

"Ow, hey!" The guy said. "I'm trying to get that glob of slime down!"

"Don't throw rocks at her!" Roux said. I couldn't see anyone on the branch as Roux continued to smack this dude. "That's Raytris, imbecile!"

It was then I realized who it actually was that Roux was attacking.

"Penteldtam?" I asked.

"That's me, yes," he looked completely different with a beard and unkempt hair, the brief time since getting his ass kicked and losing his job apparently didn't treat him too kindly. Even his voice lacked some of that confident, idiotic bluster Penteldtam was known for when he was principal.

"I barely recognized you," I said.

"OK, I think you made your point," Marmalade said, gently stopping Roux from any more magazine smacks.

"Geez," Penteldtam said, brushing himself off. "Can't go five minutes without getting beat up by a student, I guess."

"Did you get a new job already?" I asked.

"I'm...negotiating something with brother Berin for Falling Shards, perhaps," Penteldtam said. "But I'm just volunteering today."

Penteldtam wailed, crumpling to the ground dramatically. Roux ignored this completely, climbing up the tree.

“I got fired, my main man Mantorvel said he can’t date me if I’m not principal anymore, so now I’m single, and I got a really mean rejection letter at the poet’s society, this is the worst week of my life. How am I going to face my daughter after all this?” Penteldtam tried to brush the ground for whatever reason, but it was all pine needles where he groveled so he just hurt his hand.

"Yeah, I'm sure your life problems are really sad or whatever, but we're in the middle of something. Roux's gonna ask Rayt—"

Roux landed directly in front of me, which would have been terrifying if I didn't have enough Roux experience. They had a glob of something in their cupped hands, which I guessed was Raytris.

"Koridia, I swear if you spoil my machinations and schemes I'll obliterate you," Roux said. "You good, Raytris? I won't apologize for our former principal, but I will for not being here sooner, or for stopping Ovie and her loser friends from their attempt to exile you."

The glob of slime rolled off of Roux's hands and onto the ground. It rumbled a bit, then rose upwards, into a more person-like shape. I guess they were keeping clothes in that glob because by she was fully clothed by the time a girl made of slime stood before me. Not that I wanted to see a slime girl naked or anything.

Raytris had a neutral expression, her hair (?) tied into a ponytail. Her voice was soft and quiet.

"It's OK," Raytris said. "Thanks for being here, now."

Roux snickered. "Now Raytris, I'd like to introduce you to some friends."

"Wow, I don't think I've ever heard you call me a friend," I said.

"But first!" Roux shouted. "Raytris, my new friend. Would you..." Their cheeks blushed as they tried to work up the nerve. "Like to go to the dance with me?"

Raytris smiled softly. "I don't know what dance that is, but I'd go with you as long as it's not scary."

"Hehehe," Roux kept snickering. "Wonderful, terrific decision! I will make it a night you don't forget."

Raytris giggled. The two seemed to get along, at least?

"As for my friends, this is Koridia," Roux tried to hit me again with their magazine, but I was ready to dodge this time. "And Whitton. Both valuable companions, but Koridia will annoy you, I'm warning you now."

"Our first names are Kalei and Marmalade, which we usually go by," I said. "And Roux's way more annoying than me."

"Debatable," Roux said.

"Um, it's nice to meet you," Raytris said. "Everything's very strange in this place, but I'm glad there are nice people, too."

"Yeah, we're nice, unlike a certain someone," Roux said, brandishing the magazine again towards the ground. "Hey, where'd Penteldtam go?"

"He rolled away while you were talking about the dance," Marmalade said.

"Like literally rolled away?" I asked.

"Mhm," Marmalade said. "He might still be log rolling right now wherever he was headed."

"Well, who cares about him, we have better things to do," Roux said. "Raytris, join us for video games in my tent."

"OK," Raytris said.

I wondered if a slime girl could even play games. That was probably rude to think, but wouldn't their slime-iness like get in the controller? Eh, if it was Roux's console it wasn't my problem. I was mainly glad we completed our mission, and that I hadn't gone all weird with the Dose 8 stuff. So far so good there, but I wasn't sure how long that would last.