“How Do You Ask a Slime Girl to Prom?” (62.3) (Kalei)

I walked along a desert highway. The sun bore down on me, and I panted. I had somehow shifted to a wolf, maybe it was that vial of junk I took. It felt kinda nice to walk on four legs. I wasn't sure where I was headed, none of the signs around me were legible. All I knew was that I had to keep moving.

"Hey."

I turned to see a giant's finger rushing toward me. I couldn't dodge in time and toppled to my side. But I had to keep moving. I picked myself up and took another step, and got poked again. I finally looked over to the giant, taking up almost all of the horizon, and it was Roux. They slammed their hands down onto me, and I barely got out of the way of each slap. Then they somehow had more hands, more of them jabbing at me, hitting my sides, face, all while they kept talking.

"C'mon. Hey. Koridia. Wake up."

My eyes snapped open. I was in my tent, and Roux knelt beside me, poking my face.

“God, let me nap!”

I tried to roll over, folding my pillow around my head, but Roux took that as an invitation to smack the pillow like drums.

“Seriously, knock it off!”

Roux was the only person annoying enough to get me to wake up. If I let them poke me any longer, they'd probably start punching or biting me next.

"Fine, what is it?" I said.

I had the almost delirious feeling from waking up from a nap at the wrong time, and my voice was kind of hoarse. I was so beat after the fight that I barely remembered dragging my ass into my tent. How did I even figure out which one was mine? It was pretty spacious, big enough for me to lie down comfortably and for Roux to be beside me, and probably one more person, too.

“I hate to admit it, but I require your aid, Junior Deputy Koridia,” Roux said.

“I thought we agreed I was the same badass detective rank as you," I said.

"I never agreed to that," Roux said. "But I have a multifaceted situation that I think you'd be able to assist me with."

"Multifaceted, huh?" I yawned.

“First. Help me locate Raytris," Roux said. "Second, help me brainstorm ways to ask her to the prom."

“Who the hell is Raytris?” I asked.

"My new friend!" Roux said. "How have you not met her yet? She should be as famous as those devils, since she's from the same group."

"I don't like the devils," I said.

"That's beside the point," Roux said. "Actually, wait, you'll probably like Raytris more if you don't like the devils! But if you ask her to prom too, I'll never forgive you."

"I won't ask her to prom, I don't even know her," I said. "I doubt I'll even go to prom." 

It's not like anyone would ask me.

"Quit the bellyaching, wake up and let's get searching," Roux said.

It wasn't the worst dragging myself out of my sleeping bag. That brief fight actually made me feel a little better physically somehow, but I was still feeling funky.

“Why are you ill?” Roux asked, jabbing me in the ribs.

"If you do that again I'm not coming with," I said. “What do you mean why? It’s a flu. If you're worried you're gonna catch it, just let me sleep."

“I have been told I have an impeccable immune system,” Roux said. “You’re dodging the question. Bitch.”

“Whoa! Where did that come from?” I said.

“From you dodging the question," Roux said. "Why are you ill?"

Roux was smart enough that they could probably tell something was off with me. But I couldn't exactly tell them everything when I wasn't even sure me drinking that dose in the lab was the cause. The real story for why I wasn't feeling good sounded like something Roux would make up to sound cool.

"Let's just go," I said.

As soon as we were out of the tent, someone waited for us.

"Oh my god," Marmalade said. "You actually got her to wake up?"

"I am a pro at awakening Koridias," Roux said.

"I really thought you were kidding," Marmalade said.

"Did you ask Roux to wake me up?" I asked.

"Not really," Marmalade said. "Roux announced their plans to me, and I told them how we tried to wake you up earlier in the week and couldn't."

"Yeah, I've been so sleepy this week," I said.

I hoped I hadn't made Marms nervous with this. Was she standing guard outside my tent? The thought of that was kinda...it made me feel some kind of a way, but I wasn't exactly sure what the feeling was.

"Come along, then," Roux said.

Roux had a smug grin as we walked through the rows of tents. I seriously must have been exhausted because I barely remembered where mine was.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I was just thinking, I can't see you asking Raytris to the prom," Roux said.

"Uh, yeah, I don't know who she is," I said.

"Well, that and..." Roux snickered. The hell was their problem today?

"And?"

Roux jabbed me in the ribs again. "It's pretty obvious if you think about it."

"You seriously need to quit doing that," I said. "And what's obvious?"

"I...don't really get this one," Marmalade let out that forced laugh again. I was too tired to keep up with whatever Roux was implying.

"Me either," I said.

"Well, as long as you don't go with Taramin," Roux said.

I nearly froze in my tracks before I realized what Roux meant. Not the Taramin labs, Risa Taramin.

"Though that was probably out of the picture after that fateful parking lot encounter," Roux said.

"What the hell?" I asked. Did I know that Roux knew that? If I did, my sleepy brain wasn't able to draw up the memory from my internal database. "Why would you know about that? Were you spying on me?” I could picture Roux hiding in the shadows that night where Risa asked me out and I turned her down.

“No, but Marmalade told me,” Roux said.

“You were talking about Risa and me with Marms?” I asked. 

“Sorry!” Marmalade chimed in. “It just kinda…came up.”

I'd ask where and how that came up, but judging by Roux's expression, it was another avenue for them to get back to asking me why I was sick. I ask that, Roux goes "I'll answer if you tell me why you're sick," and then we keep bantering back and forth because I'm stubborn.

"Where are we even looking for this Raytris girl?" I asked.

"I'm...not entirely sure," Roux said.

"Raytris?"

I was really not in the mood for this. Ovie Chirhart popped out from one of the tents, like she was waiting to talk to us. 09 was with her, as were her cohorts Chellsi and Mikeila-Keila...and Risa, too. Did Risa hear any of that conversation just now?

"Why would you want to talk to a literal slimeball?" Ovie asked.