“How Do You Ask a Slime Girl to Prom?” (62.12) (Kalei)

I was doing so well. The whole camping trip, I for the most part had kept it together. But when night fell, and I was alone in my tent, I felt it again. That feeling deep within that something was inside me...changing? Shifting? Growing? Did whatever it was want to get out? I thought of the monstrous version of myself I saw reflected back in Litus Empirica, shrouded in fog.

I thought I'd be OK just sleeping this off again, but I remembered I wouldn't be spending the night by myself.

"Hey, Marms," I said when my roommate crawled into the tent, grinning and snickering to herself as she got comfy.

"Hey!" Marmalade said. "Got my games all charged up, you still down for that? I know we played for a while with Roux and Raytris, but...just you and me time, you know?"

Damn, I really don't wanna kill the mood when she's this happy. But...

A sensation wormed through me, like my stomach growling, but all over. Would I even be able to keep it together?

I tried to think logically. Had anything happened all week? The only time I'd been able to shift into that state so far was when I wanted to protect Aira and Syval. I wasn't gonna like go full monster mode and rip Marmalade to shreds. Right?

"Of course," I said.

She got out one of her handheld consoles and we played some retro games together. The way she got so hype for the old stuff was really cool. The sensation kept coming back, though. I tried to swallow it down the best I could. Fighting it, or doing whatever my instinct said to fight it was working, but it also made me feel a bit sick.

"I just think it's an incredible twist to make it so what the player thinks is the main character moving around, is actually the background, and the main character was the world moving around the character." Marmalade said. It didn't make much sense to me, but damn if she wasn't giddy about this random game's ending.

"That is insane," I said. I poked my palm, and felt that claw again. Or something sharp. "Uh, actually, I gotta go to the bathroom quick. Be right back."

I zipped out, hiding my hand in my pocket. I thought about using the zip back home feature they showed us to just sit in a bathroom at school, or go back to the dorms. But instead I just walked around the lake, somehow dodging the chaperones on night watch duty. I kept glancing over to the water, expecting to see that foggy version of myself again.

When I had gone far enough that I stood on the opposite side of the campground, separated by water, I sat down. I clamped my eyes shut and just tried to will it away. 

Why did I ever drink that stupid vial? Why was I so stupid?

"So. What's going on with you?"

I freaked out Zeta style realizing Marmalade had followed me.

"Didn't mean to scare you," Marmalade said. "Just...something's up, right? If you're just sick, you should go home. But this doesn't feel like...I can tell when someone's keeping something hidden is all."

"I'm just..." I sighed.

Marmalade sat down next to me. I could barely look at her.

"If you don't want to tell me, it's fine," Marmalade said. "But I know at least twelve trans people who are not out yet and I wouldn't dream of telling anyone before they said it was alright. So I can keep it secret, whatever it is."

I didn't want to keep it from her. Or anyone. But where would I even start?

"Please don't tell Zates or Oka or Lillia or any of the others. I'll tell them, just..." I said.

"I promise, I won't say a word to anyone," Marmalade said.

I didn't know what I did to deserve someone as nice as Marms in my life. She almost made it easy to finally talk about this.

"During the storm, I..."

I tried to explain it all. I maybe blabbed that Aira and Syval are Tokickaman, but whatever, Marms wouldn't tell. I explained how we went to Litus Empirica, went to a Taramin Lab, how I drank some vial that boosted my power enough to beat a giant monster but also turned me into something.

"...and that's why I've been so barfy and feeling awful, because I think it's going to happen again, and...sorry, this is all probably completely unbelievable."

"No, the last week or so makes way more sense now," Marmalade said.

"You're not...mad?" I asked. I dunno why I thought she would be.

Marms just scratched her head. "I think it's pretty cool, actually. I'd say tell a teacher or something to make sure you're not gonna explode or something, but I'm guessing that's out of the picture."

"Yeah, I'm not telling any adult yet," I said. "But the feeling keeps popping up like something's gonna happen."

"Maybe you need to stop fighting it, like let it happen?" Marmalade said.

"Huh?" I said.

"You said you keep like...holding it in. Maybe...don't?"

"That might be dangerous," I said. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I can hold my own," Marmalade said, raising her fists like she'd box me. "Or run away? But c'mon, if you didn't hurt Aira and Syval back there, I'm sure you wouldn't hurt me."

"I hope so..." I said. "You really think letting it out would work?"

"It's worth a shot," Marmalade said.

"I guess letting it out by talking about it makes me feel a bit better, so letting it out by actually letting it out...might be good, too?" I said.

"Makes sense to me," Marmalade said.

I still made her stand like six feet back as I tried to let it work. I tried looking up for a full moon to see if that would set it off, but the moons we could see in the void weren't full.

It wasn't exactly like when I had to throw up and I just tried to let it happen, that usually made me wait a while. Just not clenching every muscle when I felt the bad feelings was a start. I tried to picture whatever was inside of me as its own self, a creature that wanted to be out of its cage.

But still, nothing.

"Huh." I said. "If this is just a flu and I blabbed everything, I'm gonna be pretty pissed."

"Sorry?" Marmalade said.

"Not at you," I said. "I don't regret telling you already. I just...there's gotta be some trick to this."

Just as I tried to think of any way I could get the shift to happen again and get it over with, someone rushed toward us.

"Kalei!"

Aira looked like she'd been hit by a truck, her hair was undone from one of her usual styles, her clothes were scratched and singed like she'd been in battle.

"I didn't want to bug you while you were sleeping, but! You're here, so! There's...over there! Syval and the devils, and...! This wrecked city! And!" Aira said.

"Wait, wait, slow down," I said. "The hell are you talking about?"

"OK, it's actually the real me!" Aira said.

"What?" I said.

"No, I maybe shouldn't start with that," Aira said. "But!" It's just Chickadee has the illusion powers, right? So you'd probably think I'm her!"

"Aira, just stop for a second, breathe," I said. "I think you're the real you."

"OK, OK," Aira said. She realized Marmalade was with me, and looked like she didn't want to say more.

"We can trust Marms," I said. "If you trust me, you trust her."

Aira nodded. "OK. So—promise you won't tell anyone about this Marmalade—but Syval snuck in because I found this weird old city down the way from the lake and it seemed like something we'd need to look into. But then Caeda and Chickadee found us, and we got in a fight, and Syval's still over there! We need backup, so I thought you could maybe help?"

"We were just trying to get me to shift again," I said. "No luck, but. I'll come with, we can figure something out. Marms, you wanna head back?"

"No way, I'm coming with, too," Marmalade said.

"Normally, I'd be a bit more wary talking about this and bringing someone new, but..." Aira said.

"You can trust Marmalade." I repeated. "If Syval's in trouble, let's not waste any more time."

"Right," Aira said.

She grabbed Marmalade's shoulder and my wrist, and in an instant, Aira's power teleported us somewhere far away.