Novel Full Chapter 432 The Wolf
Chapter 432 The Wolf
~ SASHA ~
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, ohmygodohmygodohmygod…
Click, click, click, it all fell into place.
Zev's self-loathing.
That cold brutality he'd displayed with Nick.
The Wolf. The serial killer they'd been hearing about for two years that Police claimed set dogs onto his victims, yet no one ever heard or saw anything.
Zev was a killer?
Zev shuddered and his hands clamped on hers painfully. She realized he was afraid of how she was going to react.
"Oh, Zev," she breathed, her heartbroken and mind reeling.
And hate for these men and what they'd done to him, all the ways they'd used him… it burned in her chest like embers under a fire. Tears pressed out from under her lashes and she caught her breath. She couldn't be weak right now. He needed her.
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Holy shit.
"I didn't see it, Sash. I didn't see any of it. They blinded me and I didn't see it, I'm so sorry—"
She stepped into his chest and pulled him down as he shook and choked, wrapped her arms around his neck, and held him as his massive body shuddered with his grief and self-loathing.
All those hours he'd spent, not being able to sleep. All the ways he jumped to the belief that these men would kill her—or anyone else. His utter conviction that they were ruthless. He knew it from both sides. He knew that it wasn't empty words with them.
He knew that even good hearts like him could be led into this.
Holy fucking shit.
She shook as she held him, crying even as she sought to comfort him. How did she make this better for him? How could she possibly help him? How could she tell him he wasn't ugly when he'd seen himself do such ugly things?
"It's not your fault, Zev," she blurted because she didn't know what else to say. "It's not your fault. They did this to you. It's not your fault."
He straightened, pulling his head out of her arms and dropping it back. "Sash, don't you get it?" He opened his eyes and looked down at her with the heaviest breath she'd ever heard him take. "They had me kill people who were trying to bring them down. They set me on men who were trying to do exactly what we're trying to do—finish this whole damn thing. And I helped them! If I hadn't… If I hadn't listened to them, the females would never have been taken and maybe… maybe those men would still be alive, and maybe they'd have defeated the Team already? I mean… Sasha, we might not be facing this if I hadn't believed them!"
She was shaking too. Overwhelmed. She knew this was big. Too big. So big. But she also knew they couldn't fix it now.
She pulled back only far enough to look him in the eye. "You were The Wolf?" she asked carefully.
He nodded and his eyes were so sad.
"This is… Zev… you have to stop holding all this in on your own. It's going to break you. It's going to make you hate."
"It already does," he snarled.
She shushed him, and kissed him softly, stroking his face and rubbing his arms when he straightened, eyes reddened, but not spilling tears.
"I love you, Zev."
He nodded and looked down, murmuring his love too.
"No, Zev," she snapped. "Look at me. Hear me. I love you. And I know I can't just make this all better for you. Especially not right now," she said with a heavy sigh. "But you need to hear that I love you and… and the full blame for this goes on those fuckers."
She had to stop herself from giving in to hate then, because even beyond the ruthless way these men conducted themselves—which she would have hated, but just wanted to defeat—the fact that they'd dragged Zev and his gorgeous heart into this… she hated them. She hated them for hurting him. For making him hurt other people. For traumatizing him so he couldn't sleep. For convincing him that he was damned.
No wonder he'd always argued with her. No wonder she hadn't been able to reassure him.
"I love you," she whispered fiercely. "And I know you aren't responsible for this. I'm going to figure out how. I am. I'm going to… I'm going to figure out how to convince you, Zev. Because you need to know that. You were a child in the hands of men, and they fucked you up, and that's not your fault. All you can do now is look for the truth and walk in the light and… and… keep being willing to change. That's it.
"You're the best male. They follow you for a reason. The Team wanted you in that position for a reason. All of this is just sick, and it's why we're going to beat these fuckers. We're going to beat them, Zev. We're going to defeat them. We're taking away what's most important to them, and we're going to live long, happy lives with each other and as leaders and… and…" she trailed off as Zev's eyes locked on hers, pleading. She swallowed. Help me say this right, God. "No matter what happened before, the thing that's important is what you do now, Zev. What you do tomorrow. And why. Nick does things that are good sometimes, but he does them for bad reasons. We're not going to do that, right? We're going to do good things for the right reasons. We're going to take care of the innocent and make them safe. And we're going to trust that God wants them defeated too and… we'll figure it out. I know we will. We have to."
Zev nodded, his hand coming up to cup her face. "I don't deserve you," he breathed.
"Shut up with that," she snapped, and Zev blinked. "That's them talking in your head. Just… stop. This isn't about us deserving each other, this is about us loving each other. And I love you, Zev. I love you with my whole heart."
"I love you, too," he croaked and kissed her.
Both of them struggled to breathe.