Chapter 63 63: “Ram's Near-Death Dream”

But Ram found that she hadn't fallen asleep after all. Her eyes were still open, and her mind was, if anything, slightly clearer than it had been a moment ago.

Only for a brief, drifting instant.

Without knowing when it had happened, she noticed that the world around her had changed.

She was lying in the middle of a vast expanse of white snow, and she could feel the cold seeping into her blood, threatening to freeze it solid.

Ram stared up at the cloudless sky overhead, her gaze hollow and lost.

"The Purge King… Return by Death… Could it be that everything that came after was nothing more than a dream I conjured on the edge of death?"

"What a pity. Even at the very end of this dream, I never managed to make it up to you, Barusu."

Ram closed her eyes slowly, exhausted.

"Ram — Ram!"

But faintly, distantly, she heard a voice calling her name from somewhere far away.

As though someone were shouting to her from underwater.

No —

Not from underwater. The voice was growing louder, closer, as though it were right there — right in front of her.

Even if it were her little sister Rem calling out to her now, she doubted she could summon the will to fight through the exhaustion and open her eyes.

But that voice — it sounded familiar. It sounded like… Barusu.

Hah. Creditors really are a stubborn breed.

Barusu, you truly are my destined nemesis.

Ram let out a silent, wry laugh deep inside herself. Then she gathered the very last scrap of strength she had and cracked her eyelids open just a sliver.

"Ram… Ram!"

The sounds of the outside world slowly swelled.

Ram opened her eyes and found herself lying in a snowfield. Natsuki Subaru was kneeling in front of her, shaking her desperately.

"Ram, don't die!"

The moment he saw her stir, Natsuki Subaru's face lit up with relief and joy.

At those words, Ram snapped fully into the present reality, every part of her suddenly, completely alert.

"Don't even think about giving up — Rem is waiting for you in the future."

"Rem… what good does it do to say that now?"

Ram's eyes grew a shade dimmer, her lips twisting with something bitter.

But then, before she could brace herself, Natsuki Subaru reached out and seized her hand.

She looked up. Against the backdrop of an unbroken blue sky, Natsuki Subaru stood with the sun at his back, gazing down at her with absolute confidence.

"Trust me, Ram. I will bring Rem back — whole and unharmed — and stand her right in front of you."

The sunlight made it hard to read his full expression, but she could see the lower half of his face clearly — the smile on his lips as he spoke of a future still to come.

"I know it, Ram. You and Rem are both such kind, gentle people. That's exactly why — no matter how many times it takes — I will never give up on saving you both."

"And the next time we see Rem again, let's all live together — as a family."

Ram's eyes slowly widened. Her heart began to pound, louder and louder, with each word of his promise.

As a family… did she?

Did Ram have the right to think of Subaru as family?

"The future is going to be full of things to look forward to, isn't it?"

Ram watched as Natsuki Subaru reached down and placed a sharp stone into her hand.

Barusu… what are you doing?

Her thoughts seemed to stretch out, slow and endless. Ram watched his movements with a growing sense of dread twisting inside her.

"Me? I love Ram more than anything, you know!"

Natsuki Subaru closed her fingers tightly around the jagged stone — and then slammed his own head straight into it.

A wet, sickening sound split the air.

A great spray of blood splashed across Ram's face, staining her vision red.

Her hand trembling, Ram frantically wiped at her face so she could see what lay before her.

And what she saw made her blood run cold.

A deep gash had split open across Natsuki Subaru's forehead, and dark red blood was welling up freely from it, streaming down his cheeks in a steady flow.

"Ah… ah — ah, hh…"

Ram's mouth fell open. She tried to make a sound, but all that escaped her throat were broken, shapeless gasps of air.

Her gaze locked onto Natsuki Subaru's face and would not let go.

His eyes were half-open, his pupils unfocused, the light in them already clouding over with frightening speed.

Moments later, the last flicker of life in his eyes went out entirely.

The color drained from his face at a visible, terrible pace. The warmth that had lived in his skin just seconds before slowly leached away, leaving it cold and rigid.

"No…"

This time, a clear syllable finally tore free from Ram's throat.

Frantically, she pressed her hand over the wound in Natsuki Subaru's forehead — as though that could somehow stop his life from slipping away.

But Ram already knew the truth.

There was no more life left in Natsuki Subaru to slip away.

Because… he was already dead.

"Barusu?"

Her voice had begun to shake, threaded through with the tremor of tears, as she clutched his arm and called out to him again and again.

"Why? Why?!"

"I listened to you — I had only just decided to keep living — and you chose to throw your life away!"

Great, heavy tears streamed down Ram's face, mixing with the blood smeared there, falling to the snow below as red-stained drops.

"You said you loved Ram most of all — you… you liar!"

Ram broke down sobbing — wailing openly — and this was the first time she had wept since that snowy day long ago when Natsuki Subaru had saved her life.

It was as though she meant to pour out every grievance, every weight she had carried, and release them all at once in a single, unbounded cry.

She wept freely, with everything she had.

"Don't cry, Ram."

Suddenly, Ram heard Natsuki Subaru's gentle, soothing voice beside her ear.

Was it an illusion?

But it felt so real — as though Barusu were right behind her this very moment, holding her close.

"Open your eyes, Ram. After all, I'm no… liar."

Once more, Natsuki Subaru's voice drifted to her from behind, warm with laughter.

This time, Ram's eyes flew wide open.

Heedless of the state she was in — heedless of the cold, lifeless body in her arms — she wrenched her head around —

And in that very instant, the snowfield surrounding her shattered like a mirror.

Consciousness flooded back into her body, and Ram opened her eyes.

The first thing she saw was Natsuki Subaru — holding her entirely in his arms.

He was looking down at her with a soft smile on his face, warm and bright as sunlight, and under that gaze the tension slowly drained from her rigid body.

"What are you…?"

Ram noticed that Natsuki Subaru had pressed a fingertip to the center of her brow. Where he touched, a faint, luminous glow was radiating outward.

The scene felt familiar — yet she didn't dare be certain.

Natsuki Subaru raised an eyebrow, glanced at his own finger, and smiled.

"Replenishing your mana, of course. Did you forget that I mentioned this morning I could borrow power from Betty?"

"[Starlight Guardian] — that's the name of this magic. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"And besides — I kept my promise. Isn't Rem standing right in front of you, safe and sound?"

Ram's eyes went wide in an instant, and she asked urgently.

"Then — what I saw just now… was that an illusion you created?"

"An illusion? No, nothing like that."

Natsuki Subaru scratched the back of his head with a slightly sheepish grin.

"Actually, when you fainted, you were muttering in your sleep."

"I didn't have anything else to do while I was replenishing your mana, so I figured I'd do two things at once — I just talked along with what you were saying and offered a little comfort. Did something happen?"

"No… it was nothing."

Ram shook her head and pressed the lingering questions down deep inside herself. She lifted her gaze and looked at Natsuki Subaru once more.

And this time, the way she looked at him was entirely different from any way she had looked at him before.

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