Chapter 105: Escaping the Family Home

By the time empires could have risen and fallen, and hell itself had frozen over, Uriel was still sitting on the couch with his face buried in his hands.

He looked less like a person and more like a statue someone had titled Regret, Circa Five Minutes Ago.

This was bad.

Now he was stuck on both ends.

Tell her he'd been joking?

Absolutely not.

With his mother's unique approach to language comprehension, he had zero control over what part of that sentence she'd classify as the joke. There was a very real chance Galatina would interpret it as, Little Uriel was joking when he said he liked Mom, so Mom doesn't need to serve as the standard for his future wife. Everything is fine as it is.

And then life would continue exactly as before.

More pillow fights. More daughter-in-law training. More heart-shaped eggs at breakfast paired with cheerful questions like, Is your back sore? Mom can massage it for you.

No.

That path led only to ruin.

So what about telling her, "That's not what I meant"?

That created a much worse question.

Then what did you mean?

How exactly was he supposed to answer that?

I... like you? Waugh!

Uriel's entire soul recoiled.

The Statue of Regret finally moved.

If he couldn't explain himself, then there was only one rational solution.

Run.

Escape first. Fix the disaster later. Tactical retreat was a time-honored strategy.

Uriel bent down and shoved his feet into his shoes. His fingers flew through the laces with an urgency they had never shown before.

"Little Uriel? Where are you going? Mom can come with you."

Galatina had heard the commotion. Her head popped out from behind the bedroom door.

Uriel was already halfway to the stairs.

"Buying chestnuts. I'll go by myself."

He bolted.

---

Using chestnuts as his paper-thin cover story, Uriel plunged into the streets of the Royal Capital.

He wandered through the commercial district with no real destination in mind. Unfortunately, his imagination had no trouble supplying a vivid preview of the coming days.

Those three girls were doomed.

His mother was absolutely going to put Lumina, Fenria, and Kira through some horrifyingly thorough Perfect Daughter-in-Law Boot Camp.

He needed distance.

A lot of distance.

Preferably outside the Royal Capital. Somewhere Galatina either couldn't find him or, failing that, somewhere inconvenient enough that she wouldn't casually teleport over with three trainees and a meal plan.

Once the daughter-in-law fever cooled down, he could return and carefully drag the conversation back onto sane rails.

Uriel activated the most powerful information-gathering network available to an ordinary student.

Small talk.

He lingered in front of public notice boards, stopped by a tavern he frequented, and eventually made his way to the Adventurers' Guild. At every stop, he casually asked the same question.

What were some good places to visit around the Royal Capital?

The answers were all over the place.

A fruit vendor told him the Royal Capital itself was worth seeing. The palace gardens, the central shopping district, the plazas around the inner city. Plenty to keep a tourist busy for days.

That was useless.

Running in circles around the same city was not a vacation. It was shopping with extra steps.

At a tavern, an adventurer slapped the table and recommended the Lahee Great Forest. According to him, its canopy walkways were among the finest natural sights on the continent, and several demi-human villages welcomed travelers.

He had barely started describing the view when a bard sitting in the corner idly plucked a few notes on his harp.

"Lahee~"

Several drunk adventurers immediately joined in.

"Lahee~!"

Within seconds, the melody had derailed so catastrophically that no two people were singing in the same key.

Uriel quietly left them to it.

At the Adventurers' Guild, an old adventurer nursing a drink told him that if he had any guts, he should visit a dungeon.

"That's where real adventurers go."

The old man gave him a gap-toothed grin.

"Every floor is different. Go deep enough, kid, and you'll see things ordinary people never see in their entire lives."

Uriel asked what kind of things.

The old man merely chuckled, lifted his mug, and refused to elaborate.

Wonderful.

Nothing suspicious about that whatsoever.

Finally, the receptionist at the guild counter slid a colorful leaflet toward him with a professional smile.

"If you're interested in culture and sightseeing, I would recommend the Holy City of Trido."

She tapped one corner of the brochure.

"The natural hot springs there are famous throughout the continent."

Uriel ran through the options.

The Royal Capital was out. The entire point was to get away from the Royal Capital.

The Lahee Great Forest was also out. He had just crawled out of the Ancient Canopy Rainforest. His current emotional relationship with trees was complicated, and he had no desire for a reunion tour.

A dungeon actually sounded interesting.

Unfortunately, entering a dungeon alone was wildly outside the acceptable behavior range of his carefully maintained ordinary student persona.

Which left the Holy City of Trido.

Historical sights. Hot springs. Far enough from the Royal Capital. No crawling through holes. No climbing trees.

More importantly, it was called the Holy City.

A place with a name like that practically radiated safety, light, healing, and institutional wholesomeness.

Surely there was absolutely no chance that assassination plots, cult conspiracies, or any other ridiculous disaster could have infiltrated a place called the Holy City.

Obviously.

He would soak in a hot spring, lie low for a while, and enjoy the closest thing this world had to sanctuary.

Decision made.

---

By the time Uriel stepped out of the Adventurers' Guild, the sky had already begun to darken.

He made it halfway down the street before suddenly remembering something.

The chestnuts.

Right.

He had supposedly gone out to buy chestnuts.

Unfortunately, every chestnut stall had already closed for the evening.

Fine.

He'd just say he'd gotten hungry and eaten them on the way back.

When Uriel returned to the top floor of the Golden Iris Hotel, Galatina was sitting on the couch knitting something.

The first thing she said when she saw him was exactly what he'd feared.

"Little Uriel, chestnuts took that long? Did something happen?"

Uriel straightened his back immediately.

He folded his hands behind him and summoned the cold, composed demeanor of the Scribe.

"I was gathering intelligence."

"Oh my. You worked hard."

Galatina set aside whatever she had been knitting.

She made absolutely no attempt to enter Holy Sword Witch mode.

Instead, she got up, walked over, and touched his cheek.

"Are you tired? Hungry? I can cut you some watermelon."

Uriel's carefully constructed aura froze in place.

Galatina had already turned toward the kitchen.

She retrieved a perfectly round watermelon from the icebox, sliced it into neat little pieces, removed every seed, arranged them on a plate, and carried it back out.

Uriel stared at the plate.

Then he picked up a piece.

He ate it.

Cold. Sweet. Excellent.

He ate another.

By the third piece, he had finally reconstructed enough of his dignity to try again.

"Witch."

Galatina was sitting beside him, still cutting watermelon.

Every time Uriel emptied part of the plate, she quietly replenished it.

The sudden formal address made her blink.

"Yes?"

"The Scribe will be leaving the city."

Uriel kept his voice flat and official.

"There is an important matter requiring my personal attention."

Galatina's hand stopped in midair, still holding a slice of watermelon.

"Where are you going? How long will you be gone? Who are you going with?"

The questions came one after another.

"Another city."

Uriel maintained his professional expression.

"For the sake of justice, and to uphold the creed of the Witch Brigade. I will be traveling alone."

"Then Mom will come wi—"

"Witch."

"Then the Witch will accompany—"

"Witch."

Uriel quickly raised a hand before she could finish.

"This mission has to be carried out alone. More people would only risk alerting the enemy."

He deployed the excuse he'd prepared in advance.

"You will remain here and lead Lumina and the others. This is the Scribe's judgment."

Galatina slowly put the watermelon back on the plate.

She wiped her fingertips clean.

When she looked up again, the eager look in her eyes had faded into quiet concern.

"What if it's dangerous?"

Uriel nearly said, What danger is a grown man supposed to run into on a short trip?

The words reached the tip of his tongue, then veered sharply off course.

Instead, he answered in the joking tone people used when reassuring an overprotective parent.

"If I'm in danger, I'll shout 'Holy Sword Witch' three times."

He waved a hand.

"Then you can open a portal and come get me."

The actual message was obvious.

Relax. I'll be fine.

A normal parent would laugh, tell him not to joke around, and let it go.

Uriel had once again forgotten a critical fact.

His mother was not a normal parent.

Galatina nodded immediately.

"Okay."

Uriel stared at her.

Something deep in his instincts whispered that he had just casually dug another pit beneath his own feet.

A very deep pit.

Possibly bottomless.

He chose not to investigate.

Whatever. I'd already dug the hole. I'd deal with it later.

I just have to make sure I don't say "Holy Sword Witch" while I'm in Trido.

Simple enough.

He told Galatina he would leave the next morning, stuffed several more pieces of watermelon into his mouth, and retreated to his room.

That evening, Galatina spent hours going through drawers and cupboards.

By the time she was finished packing for him, his travel bag looked prepared for either a weekend trip or a minor military campaign.

Unfortunately, Uriel failed to escape the notice of the other members of the Witch Brigade.

He had just finished using the bathroom.

The moment he opened the door, he found someone standing directly outside.

His entire body jerked backward.

Thankfully, it was only Lumina.

Who waits outside a bathroom at night?!

Lumina wasted no time.

"The Scribe is departing. What preparations do you require from us?"

Uriel flicked the water from his hands and looked at her with a perfectly neutral expression.

"You will continue operations within the Royal Capital."

His tone was calm and absolute.

"Ensure that the remaining Curse Cult forces are eliminated completely. My solo operation cannot tolerate unnecessary attention. Too many people would alert enemies who have not yet revealed themselves."

Lumina listened in silence.

Not even the faintest trace of suspicion crossed her face.

"As you command."

Uriel nodded.

See?

Lumina is so much easier than Mom.

---

The next morning, the first coach was already preparing to depart.

Only a handful of early travelers stood on the platform. One coachman was tying the final piece of luggage to the roof.

Uriel stood beside the carriage with his travel bag slung over one shoulder. Galatina had packed it for him the night before.

In his other hand was a cloth-wrapped lunchbox.

Galatina had insisted on accompanying him to the station.

"Remember to eat when you arrive. You can have anything you like, just don't upset your stomach."

Galatina adjusted the edge of his sleeve as she spoke.

"I packed egg sandwiches for the road. They're fine even if they cool down. If your clothes get dirty, take them to a laundry shop, or call me and I'll come wash them for you. Don’t let them pile up. Do you have enough money? I have more if you need—"

"I have enough. I have enough."

Before she could start pulling more money out of thin air, Uriel gently pulled his sleeve free.

He turned and stepped into the carriage.

The door closed behind him.

Uriel put his luggage on the empty seat beside him and looked through the window.

Galatina stood on the platform waving.

As the carriage rolled forward, the platform began to drift away.

Galatina rose onto her toes and waved twice more.

Then the buildings along the road blocked her from view.

Uriel leaned back against the seat and placed the lunchbox on his lap.

He exhaled.

It was a long, deep breath.

A breath that had been trapped inside him for days finally escaped all at once.

When the carriage passed through the gates of the Royal Capital, Uriel pushed the window open just a crack.

The crowded buildings gradually thinned.

Beyond them, open plains stretched toward the horizon.

Uriel raised one hand and covered half his face.

His shoulders began to shake.

A low, increasingly villainous chuckle leaked through his fingers.

"Kukuku... Hahahaha!"

Freedom.

At last.

"I have been imprisoned for ten thousand years! ...Well, four years, technically. But still! The dark seal of domesticity is finally broken!"

His grin widened.