Chapter 74: Waste experiment

I now had a giant green blob wandering around my courtyard.

Wobble Wobble~

It’s just endless wobbling.

Curious, I used [Eye of the Overlord] to inspect it and see what information I could get.

[Green Forest Slime]

Level 3

Just a slime that wanders around the forest and eats waste.

...

HAHAHA! This is so cute!

The slime kept jiggling and wobbling, its gelatinous body bouncing gently with every movement. If I had hands, I would no doubt have been tempted to give it a good slap just to see how much it wobbled.

Of course, I also wanted to give it a name.

I had to resist the urge to call it Green Rimuru, though. In the end, I settled on Midorin instead.

Hehe! That’s a pretty cute name!

And what happened next was even sillier.

When the goblins took a break from their hard work, they all gathered around Midorin. One by one, they lined up and took turns jumping into the slime, treating it like some kind of giant, living spa bath.

Sploosh! Sploosh!

And, unsurprisingly, Midorin was more than happy to consume all the dead skin they shed!

By the time everyone had finished their turns, their skin had become so glossy and smooth that it almost looked unreal.

It was as though they’d all just received a VIP spa treatment, complete with a magical full-body exfoliation!

Everyone was extremely happy and satisfied, some even wanted to jump in the second time but of course, they got rejected.

However, once everyone returned to work, Midorin did something even more incredible.

At first, I thought it was simply wobbling around my courtyard at random. But after watching it for a while, I noticed something strange.

Wait... is it chasing something?

Turned out, it was chasing animal poop!

Apparently, raccoon droppings and bird poop had accumulated all over my courtyard. I’d already been planning to have someone clean up the mess, but I hadn’t gotten around to assigning the task yet.

And now, here was Midorin, happily gobbling up every last bit of it!

Incredible!

Who would have thought that a creature capable of dissolving dead organic matter could also serve as a natural cleaning tool?

But the more I watched Midorin munching away at the filth, the more I realized just how useful this little fellow could be.

Slime toilet! Heck yeah!

For now, waste disposal in my territory was still somewhat manageable. I’d simply instructed my citizens to use buckets and dump their contents in the forest every morning. Alternatively, they could just relieve themselves directly beside the trees.

It wasn’t exactly an elegant arrangement, but it got the job done.

However, I knew that wouldn’t last forever.

As my territory expanded and my population grew into the hundreds, then thousands, and eventually tens of thousands, this crude system would inevitably collapse under the sheer volume of waste.

The stench alone would become unbearable. Disease could spread among my citizens, and their productivity would plummet. Before long, my glorious rising civilization might turn into nothing more than a festering pile of shit.

Nope. Absolutely not. I am NOT letting that happen!

Which made Midorin’s arrival all the more miraculous.

Perhaps this little green blob encounter wasn’t by mere coincidence after all. Maybe fate itself had delivered the perfect solution to one of the biggest problems my future kingdom would face!

Muahahaha! Who needs some fancy, complicated waste disposal system when I have these incredible poop-eating green slimes?

At this rate, Midorin might just become one of the most useful residents of my castle!

****

And so, I had Gopushadow constructed for me what would be the first ever primitive slime toilet.

It’s not anything fancy. 𝒻𝑟ℯℯ

Just dig a small pit in the ground, place and secure a plank on top of it so people could sit.

Then, whenever anyone wanted to take a dook dook, they would just throw the slime into the pit and then do their business directly on top of it.

Yeah, it’s just that simple.

A few minutes later, it was already about to be put into the test.

****

Now, Gopugiga squatted above the pit, his belly rumbling with an ominous internal churn like there’s a storm brewing inside him.

Since this guy was eating five times more than the others, his output must naturally be five times greater.

An absolute giga unit? An absolute giga pooper!

Below him, Midorin waited patiently for its meal, its gelatinous body quivering in anticipation like a kid waiting for candy.

"HHhhhhnnnggghhh!"

Gopugiga strained, his face twisting with effort.

Soon, a massive load was squeezed out of his ass!

Meanwhile, all the other goblins watched the dude shitting with bated breath.

The giant mass left his stretched out butthole... then dropped straight down.

Right onto the slime.

Blorp!

It immediately began to sink into the slime’s body. Soft bubbling followed, and within minutes, it was completely digested.

"WHHOOOORAAAAA!"

Everyone erupted into cheers as the experiment proved a success!

Especially me. I was thrilled beyond words.

With this, my castle could finally be clean again! I had finally solved the waste management problem!

I was already thinking of sending Gopushadow out to hunt more Green Slimes. These things were incredible.

But then... something even more unexpected happened.

The slime suddenly stretched upward.

Before Gopugiga could even react, a thick tendril of green jelly shot up from the pit and drilled straight into his asshole!

Schlorp!

Gopugiga froze, his eyes bulging in horror. The dude’s face twisted into a chaotic mix of confusion as the slime cleaned his ass!

Within seconds, his butt was squeaky clean, practically shining in the light.

Everyone then turned to look at each other, their reactions all over the place.

Some terrified, others wearing wide, stretched grins.

Meanwhile...

"Damn..." I winced.

I wasn’t sure what to think or feel about this...

On one hand, it had to be absolutely horrifying to have a slime tentacle violating your asshole.

But on the other hand... this would greatly improve my citizens’ hygiene!

Thus, as a wise ruler, I had to put my citizens’ health first.

I declared the slime toilet a great success.

Then, as everyone returned to their work, I had Gopushadow go look for more slimes.

After all, we needed a lot of them!

Because surely, it would be weird to jump into a slime for dead-skin exfoliation right after you literally just shit into it moments ago, right?

*****

In the end, by late afternoon, Gopushadow returned with a few more slimes. With this, my castle now had four Green Slimes, all diligently working to clean up the shit in my yard.

I wondered if I could bring one into my basement.

There was literally an army of raccoons living down there, and I would love to have something to clean their den. But at the same time, I was worried the raccoons might just tear the slime apart.