Chapter 83: My Dear Mother

I stood frozen, my eyelids trembling slightly.

I stared at the woman in front of me, unable to look away from her face. Her neatly tied black hair, her straight posture, her hands folded in her lap… Nothing about her was different from how I remembered her.

When had I last seen this woman?

A year ago? Or two?

I couldn’t tell when each memory had taken place, but she looked at me the same way in all of them. Neither angry nor sad. As though it made no difference to her whether I stood in front of her or not.

My mother.

The woman who was indifferent to my existence and silently turned a blind eye to everything that happened in that house.

I couldn’t remember her wiping away my tears even once. Nor could I remember her opening her arms and calling me over, or asking how I was. Yet I knew how her face softened whenever one of my siblings approached her. I remembered the tone she used while stroking their hair and the look in her eyes when she smiled at them.

So she was capable of it. She could show affection and let someone know she loved them.

She just wasn’t that way with me.

And within those memories, there was always the same foolish hope.

Would she treat me like that someday?

If I stayed a little quieter, didn’t upset anyone, didn’t ask her for anything… Maybe one day she would stroke my head without being asked. Maybe after hugging my siblings, she would notice me too.

Even on the day I was kicked out of the family, I had looked at her.

She hadn’t said a single word.

I swallowed, trying to ease the tightness in my throat. The feelings that came with the memories were so familiar that I couldn’t even think about which of them belonged to me.

I understood better now why Noctis had wanted to become a VTuber.

Talking to a screen, waiting for a few strangers to respond… Having someone notice he was there and feel happy to see him. Among people who had never even seen his real face, he had searched for the closeness he couldn’t find in that house.

He had wanted to ease his loneliness, even if only for a while.

And now this woman was sitting in the chair in front of me.

I took a deep breath. Relaxing my shoulders, I opened my hands, only then realizing I had clenched them.

Unable to bear the silence between us any longer, Miranda stood up.

“I’ll leave you two alone.”

She gave me an apologetic look as she passed. Her lips parted as though she wanted to say something, but she changed her mind when our eyes met. She hurried out of the room and closed the door behind her.

You set me up, you old witch.

After staring at the door for a few more seconds, I turned back.

“Sit,” Isolde said.

Her voice was just as cold as it had been in my memories. So that was the first thing she had to say after not seeing me for so long.

“Hello to you too… Mother.”

I deliberately emphasized the last word. Then I sat in the armchair across from her, leaned back, and crossed one leg over the other. I rested my hands on the armrests.

Her gaze lingered briefly on the way I was sitting.

“I hope you haven’t come here to say, ‘I missed you, son. Please come home.'”

“I’m not going to say that.”

She hadn’t even needed to think about her answer.

The corners of my lips rose.

“Good. Then why is my dear mother here?”

Isolde reached for the cup on the table. After taking a small sip, she returned it to its saucer.

“I wanted to know how you’re living.”

“Aren’t you a little late for that?”

“How are you supporting yourself?”

She spoke as though she hadn’t heard my question. I stared at her for a moment, then shrugged lightly.

“I’m managing.”

“How much do you rely on other people?”

“What other people?”

“Miranda and her daughter.”

My fingers went still on the armrest.

“Why are you bringing them into this conversation?”

“I’m trying to understand your situation.”

“You could have asked me before. I have a phone. My number hasn’t changed either.”

Isolde looked at me. She moved her hand away from the cup and placed it back in her lap.

“This attitude is making the conversation unnecessarily difficult.”

“I’m trying to answer your questions. But you still haven’t told me why you’re here.”

We stared at each other for several seconds. Part of me was used to offering explanations whenever she fell silent. I ignored the old habit telling me to sit properly, lower my voice, and wait.

Finally, Isolde spoke.

“Have you been telling other people about what happened between you and the family?”

I studied her expression for a while.

There was the answer I had been looking for.

“Which part?” I asked. “The part where you didn’t want me, or the part where you had to kick me out for me to understand that?”

“I asked you a question.”

“And I’m asking which part you mean.”

“I don’t want family matters discussed with outsiders.”

I let out a short breath through my nose. It sounded almost like a laugh, but I wasn’t amused.

“You were the ones who told me I wasn’t part of that family anymore.”

“That doesn’t mean you can speak carelessly about your past.”

“So I need your permission to talk about my own past too.”

“Don’t twist my words, Noctis.”

When she said my name, my gaze drifted involuntarily to her lips. I grew angry with myself when I realized I was searching her voice for something I hadn’t expected to hear.

Still?

“Financial support can be arranged if you need it,” she continued. “But I don’t want you telling others about what you’ve been through and giving them the wrong impression of your family.”

“What part of it is wrong?”

“You only see things from your own perspective.”

“Then let’s hear your side.”

I leaned forward slightly. My voice was no longer mocking.

“Why didn’t you say anything the day I was sent away?”

Isolde’s expression didn’t change.

“I will not discuss your father’s decision here.”

“I didn’t ask about my father.”

Faint footsteps passed outside the room. Neither of us looked at the door.

“I’m asking about you,” I said. “You were there. Do you remember me looking at you?”

“The decision had already been made.”

“And I was your son.”

This time, she didn’t answer immediately. Her gaze remained on my face, and I didn’t look away.

“Let’s say you couldn’t change the decision,” I continued. “What stopped you from calling me afterward?”

“You needed to learn to live on your own.”

I nodded slowly.

“I see. I couldn’t have learned that if you’d asked how I was doing.”

“If you’re going to respond like this to everything I say—”

“How do you expect me to respond?”

I hadn’t raised my voice. Even so, she stopped midsentence.

“I didn’t know what to do when I saw you here. The first thing you said was to tell me to sit. Then you asked whether I had money and brought Eris and her mother into it. Now you want me to keep quiet about the family.”

I glanced briefly at her cup.

“Don’t worry. I don’t spend my time telling people about you or your husband.”

“Then there’s no need for you to drag this conversation out.”

I stared at her for several seconds. That really was all that mattered to her. She had given the instruction she wanted to give; she didn’t understand why she should have to listen to anything else.

“Do you treat my siblings like this too?” I asked.

“Don’t bring them into this conversation.”

“Why? I learned what kind of mother you were by watching you with them.”

Isolde frowned slightly. It was the most noticeable change in her expression since I had sat down.

“You were kind to them,” I said. “When something upset them, you listened. They didn’t need permission to approach you. I would stand in the same room and wait for my turn.”

The tightness in my throat threatened to return. I exhaled slowly and finished what I was saying.

“For a long time, I thought I had to do something to earn that.”

“Your situation was different.”

“I didn’t have a Nexus.”

Isolde fell silent.

“Did I need one for you to hug me too?”

I watched her face as I waited for an answer. For the first time, I waited without hoping she would say something I wanted to hear.

“Turning this into an accusation won’t do you any good,” she finally said.

I leaned back in my chair.

“You’re right. Telling you any of this won’t do me any good.”

The sarcasm had left my voice. Isolde must have noticed, because her eyes briefly dropped to my hands. I was no longer clenching my fingers.

“I told you I could help,” she said.

“You wanted me to stay quiet in return.”

“I expect you to consider the family’s reputation.”

“Stop talking to me about your stupid family.”

Isolde’s gaze returned to my face.

“Watch how you speak to me.”

I stood up. As I straightened my clothes, I didn’t rush to answer.

“I don’t want your money. And I’ll decide for myself whether I talk about you.”

“Noctis, sit down!”

This time, I didn’t hesitate at all when I heard the order.

“We’re done here.”

“I haven’t finished what I came to say.”

I walked toward the door. As I put my hand on the handle, she called after me again.

“You’re speaking to your mother.”

I turned to look at her. She was still sitting in the same position. To stop me, she had chosen nothing more than a word that had meant nothing for years.

“Don’t only remember that when you expect me to obey you.”

I opened the door.

“If you want to see me again, contact me directly. Don’t involve Miranda. I’ll decide whether to come.”

I left the room without waiting for her answer. Calmly closing the door behind me, I continued down the hallway.