Novel Full 458 Are You Both Going to Squat and Pee?
Jiang Jiya: You two are here earlier than expected. Planning to surrender?
Lei Zhenzi: The bet won't change even if the both of you surrender! Hand me the Twelve Wings Golden Cicada now!
Chen Xiaobei: We shall never surrender! How about checking the number of disciples that we have now? Just announce the result!
Jiang Jiya: Hmph. Stubborn bastard! We can check the numbers of disciples at the temple of deities. To make this fair, I have even invited the Grand Supreme Lord Laotzu to announce the results!
Laotzu: Cough… Cough… I just checked out the result personally… However, can I just say that the bet is a little… over the top? Maybe you guys could consider calling it off…
NeZha: That's right! Just let it go! You guys are just hurting each other!
Chang'e: That's right! Just call off the bet, shake hands and call it a truce!
Lei Zhenzi: No way! We're definitely not calling off the bet! This is a bet between real men, women and kids have no right to interfere. Also, I have declared earlier that the one who backs off is a coward!
Jiang Jiya: That's right. Don't eat your own words or you will embarrass the Prime of Tongtian!
No one dared to say another thing after Jiang Jiya typed that. It was not a stretch to imagine that most of Chen Xiaobei's friends in the chat group were beside themselves with worry. Meanwhile, Chanism deities were simply waiting to see Chen Xiaobei embarrass himself.
Laotzu: Jiang Ziya and Lei Zhenzi, ready for the results?
Jiang Jiya: Of course! What, Laotzu, are you afraid of the Prime of Tongtian? You don't have to worry about him at all. We have solid evidence to prove that God Chen was wrong, and there is nothing that the Prime of Tongtian could do about it!
Lei Zhenzi: That's right! Laotzu, just announce the results already! I want him to embarrass himself!
"You two idiots. Laotzu was trying to save your faces!" Chen Xiaobei smiled as he kept his eyes on the cellphone.
"Xiaobei, can we really win this bet?" Old Wang asked nervously.
"Don't worry, everything is under control," Chen Xiaobei replied nonchalantly. "Those two are still too inexperienced when it comes to betting."
Old Wang was speechless.
Too inexperienced?
Who is the inexperienced one here?
Lei Zhenzi? Jiang Ziya? Or the Primeval Lord of Heaven?
Old Wang gulped and turned back to his cellphone. Was Chen Xiaobei really that arrogant? Or it was as he said, his opponents were too inexperienced?
The answer would be revealed soon!
Laotzu: Well then. The results – since you two insisted! The number of disciples recruited by Shaoba Xingjun has been checked and confirmed; it has increased from zero to ten thousand in less than one hour!
Jiang Jiya: How… How many…
Lei Zhenzi: Laotzu… You… You must have seen it wrongly…
Laotzu: Blasphemy! My eyes are perfectly fine. I may have a mild temper, but that doesn't mean that you can say whatever you want to me!
Jiang Jiya: So… Shaoba Xingjun really recruited ten thousand disciples within one hour? Oh… Huh… What…
Both Chanism disciples were left thunderstruck, and Chen Xiaobei could imagine their ugly faces in that very moment. Laotzu had even been kind enough to offer to bail them out, but they daringly refused!
In the end, thousands of deities bore witness to their silly and childish behavior. Now, it was entirely justified for Chen Xiaobei to call both of them idiots earlier. Now, they had to suffer the pain of invisible slaps!
"Heavens! Xiaobei, I just streamed for a while… How did I recruit ten thousand disciples in that time? Am I dreaming? It's… It's not even possible to do this when I was still a deity in heaven!" Old Wang was still gaping at his phone. He wouldn't have believed the results if Laotzu did not announced it personally!
"Times change. Even as a deity, you should catch up to the modern era. The old-fashioned way of recruiting disciples is really slow, but now you just need a little creativity to secure endless possibilities!"
Chen Xiaobei smiled, his words fueled with positivity.
"This is incredible! I think it's totally possible to complete the mission now!" Old Wang said happily.
"Hold your horses, it's not as simple you think. There is a limited number of viewers on a streaming platform, and users can't expect that growth rate all the way – it would only decrease with time." Chen Xiaobei grinned, before adding: "However, we have more important matters to deal with now!"
Both of them quickly returned to the Red Envelope Chat Group.
Chen Xiaobei: Jiang Ziya, Lei Zhenzi. Do you guys have anything to add? (Glare)
Jiang Jiya: No… No… I yield…
Lei Zhenzi: I yield too…
Initially, those two jokers had thought that having Laotzu announcing the results could keep Chen Xiaobei from breaking his promise. Now that they have the tables turned on them, they would not dare to break their promise even if they had the bravery of a hundred warriors!
Chen Xiaobei: Yielding is meaningless. Both of you made false accusations against Shaoba Xingjun and myself! We were punished by you for no reason, so apologize!
Jiang Jiya: God Chen, let's talk in private. We wouldn't want to interrupt the other group members who are chatting! (Acting nice)
Lei Zhenzi: That's right… Let's talk privately! (Acting nice)
Chen Xiaobei: Tut! You guys are acting nice right now?! How come both of you did not talk to us in private when you guys accused us? No way! Apologize to both of us right here, right now! @Everyone, witness this moment! I won't let this go if they don't apologize to us!
Jiang: ...
Lei: …
Embarrassed and ashamed, the two were silent. Chen Xiaobei had just tagged everyone and made a public announcement in the group; he thirsted to pay them back for what they did!
Chen Xiaobei: I remember Lei Zhenzi saying that gentlemen never go back on their word. How dare you guys refuse to apologize to us after falsely accusing us? I guess the both of you have to squat before you pee, since you two aren't gentlemen!
Jiang: ...
Lei: ....
Chen Xiaobei could hear them cry. He had just humiliated them without using a single obscene word. And there was no doubt that the group members were tearing up laughing as they imagined Jiang Ziya and Lei Zhenzi squat and pee!
Chen Xiaobei: Sigh… I never thought that the Primeval Lord of Heaven trained you two to be cowards. Such an embarrassment to the Primeval Lord of Heaven. Chanism is humiliated because of the two of you!
Jiang Jiya: God Chen, Stop! We will apologize!
Lei Zhenzi: People are going to remember us badly forever if you don't stop!
Chen Xiaobei: Hmph! I wouldn't have said a thing if you apologized earlier! So are you guys going to blame me now?
Jiang Jiya and Lei Zhenzi: This is all out fault! We have falsely accused God Chen and Shaoba Xingjun; we offer our official apologies!
"Heavens! Those high and mighty deities actually apologized to me! God Chen, you are simply extraordinary!" Old Wang could not believe what was happening in the Red Envelope chat.
"Hehe… You think this is awesome? I'm not done with them yet!" Chen Xiaobei smiled ominously.
Chen Xiaobei: Fine, let's forget about it. Now, let's talk about our bet!