Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

"Damn! Here I come!"

Both of Chen’s eyes were shining. He poured all his strength into tapping his cellphone.

"Damn! I got the first Red Envelope of the night! This is what I call overpowering luck!"

Chen was so shocked when he tapped on his cellphone. He knew that his luck increased tremendously recently, but this is definitely an awesome way of showing off his luck! He got really excited. His eyes couldn’t move away from the cellphone screen.

Ding!

[Congratulation! You have snatched a Red Envelope from NeZha successfully! You have received a dragon dick! It has been stored in your treasure chest!]

"Dragon??? Dick???"

Chen was petrified. His excitement turned into disappointment. He almost spat blood on the ceiling!

A dick!

What the hell!

Why dragon dick! I would rather get something else!

"This must be an illusion…An illusion! Maybe the dragon part that I just snatched is dragon tendon in disguise! It must be!"

Chen consoled himself and opened his treasure chest slowly. A golden, bright light shone through his cellphone screen! It almost blinded him! It was a golden pillar, shaped like dragon’s dick! That shape! That dickhead! That smell! Chen could even smell it through the cellphone screen.

Ding!

[Dragon Dick! Extremely nutritious! Extremely nutritious! Extremely nutritious! Important things must be repeated three times! Do you want to withdraw it?]

Damn! It’s really a dragon dick that I snatched just now!"

Chen almost burst into tears. Initially, he was planning to snatch some dragon meat to nourish his parents’ bodies.

Great!

Who will eat this thing? How do I even begin to consume it?!

Are you really asking me to eat it like a corn?

The scene of eating a dragon dick is just too damn beautiful to imagine! It is true that every single part of a dragon is extremely precious! They say that the dragon’s dick is the most valuable part among all the other parts!

But…

Chen lost all his appetite once he thought about the function of a dragon dick. He even felt like vomiting.

"Sigh...I should go to the group and exchange it for something else with someone else…Maybe someone in the group who likes the taste dicks…"

Chen was really upset by it.

All the Red Envelopes were gone when he dived back into the group again. Everyone was talking about the dragon parts that they just snatched.

Yanwang: My wish came true! I got ten pounds of dragon meat! Thank you, Third Prince! (Salivating)

God Chejiao: Twenty pounds of dragon steak exchange for dragon’s leg tendon! PM me if you want to make the trade with me!

Xiao Tianquan: I will change with you! I will change with you! Dragon steak has always been my favorite! And, I have dragon’s leg tendon with me!

Bull Demon King: Hahaha…! I received thirty thousand dragon scales! This is so awesome! It’s more than enough to make three sets of dragon armor!

Monkey King: Don’t just stand there and laugh like an idiot! I will take my dragon heart in exchange for ten thousand dragon scales!

Bull Demon King: Psst…Dragon heart is some good stuff! I will change with you! (Surprise)

God Erlang: My Bull brother! I want to use my dragon fur to exchange for your ten thousand dragon scales!

Bull Demon King: Dragon Fur? That is some useless shit! Nope! I won’t exchange with you! Get lost! (Rolled eyes)

God Erlang: What the hell! Why did I get such useless part when the rest of you received all the useful part? This is not fair at all! (Sobbing)

Monkey King: Eh? If God Erlang got the most useless part, who got the most precious part?!

NeZha: Haha! Let me reveal the luckiest person in this Red Envelope! It’s God Chen!

Yanwang: Damn! So, the luckiest guy here is God Chen! He did not even say anything about it! (Shocking)

God Chejiao: Man! God Chen is so damn lucky! He snatched the first prize from under our noses!

Monkey King: My brother is awesome! (Thumbs up!)

Bull Demon King: God Chen, I want to exchange my dragon part with you! I’m willing to use my dragon heart and twenty thousand dragon scales to exchange with you!

Wei Xiaobao: I’m willing to use my version of ultimate super insanely powerful Kamasutra to exchange it with you! Please! I beg you!

Duan Yu: I’m willing to use my Six Blades Godly Skill book and Lightning Step book to exchange it with you!

God of Broom: I want to use my dragon kidney to exchange it with you!

Thunder God: I will use the whole dragon vein to exchange it with you!

Rain God: I will use the dragon horn to exchange it with you!

….…

All of a sudden, everyone was spamming exchange message in the group. Those member who usually lurked in the group were offering their dragon parts to Chen. Initially, Chen wanted to exchange the dragon dick that he had received earlier for something else. When he saw everyone wanting to use their dragon parts to trade with him desperately, a second thought surfaced in his heart. There’s a saying, items that come in extremely small quantities are usually the rarest!

In other words, dragon dick is extremely valuable, since everyone wanted it so badly.

"I’m not going to exchange it anymore!"

Chen thought and decided, "Other dragon parts are pretty useless for me…The most I can do with them is cook and eat…It’s actually kind of meaningless! I should keep this most precious dragon dick with me! I might be able to use it in the future!"

After he was finished with his thoughts, he went back into the group.

Chen: I’m really sorry, everyone. You guys can stop PMing me. I will not exchange my dragon dick for anything else.

Everyone: Why…? This is so disappointing…Sigh… (Tonnes of disappointing emojis)

Chen: Other than that, I would like to thank you, Third Prince, for the Red Envelope!

NeZha: Hehehe…You are most welcome, God Chen! But, if you really want to thank me, can you send me a bottle of WaHaHa High Calcium Milk? I have not had that for a long time. I really miss that taste! (Three salivating emojis)

God Erlang: Right! Right! Right! God Chen! You are the luckiest person here! You have taken away the item that all of us wanted the most! You have to send some Red Envelopes in this group!

Yanwang: Right! You are absolutely right! I want Red Envelope from you as well! I want some spicy sticks! You have not give those to me for a long time. (Crying emoji)

Xiao Tianquan: I want sausage! Curry flavor and beef flavor!

Bull Demon King: Red Envelope! Red Envelope! The luckiest person here, please give us Red Envelope!

Moonlord: Red Envelope! Red Envelope!

Caishen: Luckiest person here, please give us Red Envelope!

….

"Damn! God Erlang is a real bastard! He initiated the whole luckiest-person-need-to-give-Red-Envelope thing!"

Chen shrugged and thought, "Luckily, the items they requested are super easy to find in the supermarket. Also, they are pretty cheap. I shall satisfy their cravings!"

Chen: Everyone, please be quiet! I will send a big Red Envelope to this group! But, I don’t have it now with me! Allow me to have some time prepare them for you guys.

Yanwang: Haha! We are more than happy to wait for you send the Red Envelopes to this group! I will be patient and wait for it!

NeZha: All of us are willing to wait! I’m going to thank you in advance! (Acting cute emoji)

Everyone: Thank you, God Chen!

Monkey King: Wait! All of you are trying to take advantage of my brother! My brother is going to give you guys a big Red Envelope! It will be a real shame if none of you guys here are willing to give him a small Red Envelope!

NeZha: Monkey King, you are right! I think we shall flood the group with Red Envelopes! (Excited)

Yanwang: I agree with you! Good idea!

Everyone: Agree! Agree!

Chen: Hahaha…Everyone is so lovely here!