Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

Monkey King: I have no idea where is that NeZha that likes to spend so much time in this chat group. I’m wondering as well.

Chen: I’m used to his presence. I feel a little bit weird now.

Yanwang: I know where the Third Prince is! (Grinning enoji)

Chen: Tell us if you know! Don’t keep us guessing!

Yanwang: *Cough* I just checked my Life and Death Book. I saw that the Red Dragon was going to die! I’ve asked my Black Officer of Impermanence to capture his soul!

Chen: Red Dragon? Going to die? What does it have to do with the Third Prince? (Shocking emoji)

God Chejiao: No way! Don’t you know about the old scores between the dragon and the Third Prince?

Chen: Old scores? Of course, I know about them!

A long time ago, NeZha had messed up the whole Eastern Sea. In the process, he had killed the son of Dragon King. Then, he turned the whole place upside down. After that, The Great Eastern Sea King; Ao Guang gathered all four Sea Dragon Kings from four cardinal directions to flood NeZha’s village; Chen Tangguan. Then, he was forced to cut out his flesh to return to his mother and scraped his bones to return to his father. Lastly, when he died, he had to be reincarnated as a lotus! This old score is no joke at all!

Actually, the four Sea Dragon Kings were in the chat group as well. But, they have never posted or said anything in the group, because of NeZha.

God Chejiao: So, God Chen, you should know what the Third Prince is doing right now!

Chen: The NeZha went to slay dragons?! (Three shocked emojis)

Yanwang: You are right! The Red Dragon is a godly creature! It is supposed to be immortal! If it is dying, then, ninety-nine percent of it is NeZha’s work!

God Chejiao: NeZha may look cute when he is in the group chat. His favorite hobby is actually slaying dragons!

Chen: Damn! This is awesome! (Shocked emoji)

Yanwang: I will get to devour the dragon meat when NeZha comes back from his hunt! Hahaha! (Salivating emoji)

God Chejiao: I hope I can get a few dragon ribs! It tastes so yummy when you cook them in soup! (Licking lips emoji)

Chen: Consuming dragon meat? Drinking dragon soup? (Shocked) Is it okay to discuss these kinds of things when there are dragon members in this chat group?

God Chejiao: There is no big deal about it. We have different kinds of creatures in this chat group; pig, cow, goat, chicken, duck, and others. So, it’s totally fine to talk about eating other creatures in this group. If not, all of us will become vegetarians in this group.

Yanwang: You are wrong! We still have creatures like trees and flowers in this group! You can’t even become a vegetarian!

God Chejiao: Thus, don’t worry about talking about eating other creatures in this group!

Chen: Alright! I should quit being so polite! Will the Third Prince give out Red Envelopes when he comes back? I should snatch a piece of dragon meat get a taste of it! (Salivating emoji)

Yanwang: Okay…I will PM you when the Third Prince comes back! But, it all depends on the RNG’s blessing on whether you can snatch the dragon meat! Hehehe…

Chen: Hahaha! Thank you, Yanwang! I should get back to my business first!

Yanwang: What kind of business?

Chen: I have just reached the pinnacle stage of physical phase recently. How can I speed up my breakthrough?

Yanwang: Physical phase…Such low cultivation! It’s easy to breakthrough! Just get your hand on Skybreaking Cultivation Pill. You don’t even need to consume the pill. All you need to do is lick it. One lick and you will reach the breakthrough!

Chen: Sounds so magical! How can I acquire it?

God Chejiao: You’ll have to ask for it from The Grand Supreme Laotzu! Normally, none of us would even possess such an item!

Chen: The Grand Supreme Laotzu? Erm…I’m not even close to him. Why would he give me such a precious item?

Yanwang: Well, you’ll have to come up with something to make him pass it to you. (Shrug)

God Chejiao: That’s right. We don’t have any idea as well! (Rolls eyes)

Monkey King: *Cough* *Cough* Why don’t you ask me?

Chen: Eh? Do you have any idea of getting the pill from The Grand Supreme Laotzu? Haha! You are really reliable when it comes to a critical situation like this! Tell me now! Tell me now! (Kissing emoji)

Monkey King: I heard Laotzu was facing some problems with his alchemy! He is so worried that his white hair is starting to fall off from his head. He will definitely give you the pill if you can help him solve the problem!

Chen: Monkey bro! Are you kidding me? Laotzu is a Tiandao saint! He’s on the same level with my Sifu! How can I help him solve the problem? I appreciate the fact that you think so highly of me… (sweating emoji)

Monkey King: I’m definitely not kidding you! You can’t solve his alchemy problem, but you can help him lessen his worries! Do you understand?

Chen: Lessen his worries? Do you think I can do it? (Doubting emoji)

Monkey King: I think you can definitely do it! You are living in a lost land! There are so many weird and funny stuff over there! Just, use your brain power! I’m pretty sure that you can come up with something!

Chen: Lost land? Are you talking about earth?

Monkey King: More or less! I will explain it you when I’m free. Go and figure out how can you help Laotzu lessen his worries first. This is all I can help you with for now!

Chen: Okay! I shall go and figure out something! Oh right! Remember to PM me when NeZha comes back!

Monkey King: Of course!

"What kind of things can help Laotzu lessen his worries?" Chen closed his eyes and thought.

"Alcohol? Alcohol can help someone to forget all their problems! But, there are so many good alcohols in heaven! And, I never heard anything saying that Laotzu loved drinking alcohol…"

"Maybe I can give him a novel that written by Young Leader! This can definitely lessen his worries! No…Wait…That’s a modern genre novel! He will not be able to understand it…"

"This is so troublesome…Lessen worries…Old souls…"

Chen thought and thought. Then he jumped up all of a sudden and said, "Oh right! I can give him ‘that thing’ to lessen his worries!"

Chen ran out to the nearest shop.

"Boss! Can I have a pack of cigarettes and a lighter please?" Chen grinned and said.

"What type of cigarettes are you looking for?" the owner of the shop asked.

"Erm…Just give me the cheapest one!"

Chen grinned evilly. When demand surpasses supply, the value of a certain item would rise. Thus, Chen decided not to give the best to Laotzu first. He won’t be able to ask anything from him if he has tasted the best. After that, Chen left with his pack of cigarette and lighter.

Then, Chen put the pack of cigarette and lighter into the Red Envelope when he saw no one else around him.

Ding!

[You have sent a Red Envelope to The Grand Supreme Lord Laotzu!]

Laotzu replied Chen half a minute later.

Laotzu: Xiaobei, what did you just send me? I have not seen such an item before!

Chen: This is my hometown specialty! Just follow my instructions… (Giving him steps on how to smoke)

Laotzu: So, what can this thing do to me?

Chen: Quit talking and take a puff first!

Ten seconds later…

Laotzu: Xiaobei! This is some good stuff! I feel so relaxed after taking a puff! Oh, how light my brain feels! My anxiety and worries are gone!

"Haha! I knew it! Those people that work on technology and art always smoke when they encounter any difficulty!" Chen thought.

Chen smiled when he saw the reply.

Laotzu: Ideas! I feel ideas flowing into my brain now! I know how to solve my alchemy problem now! (Surprise) Xiaobei! You just did me a great favor! I shall repay you greatly!