65 A kiss in the snow (1)
Ai wiped her tears and answered as she looked straight at him. “I am not scared of you, Jun.”
“No, no. You can say it,” Jun laughed. “You don’t have to be afraid of saying that you are afraid of me. Ah…I made a good joke, right?”
“I am not scared of you,” she quietly repeated.
Jun shook his head. “No. You are lying. After hearing my ex say how I…suffocated her with my love, why would you still say that you aren’t scared of me? You are afraid because I am a very dangerous man. I am clingy, possessive, get jealous easily, and I don’t give space to breathe. That’s why she fell for my brother. I am cold, distant and so terrifying. No wonder I made her loathe me so much. Now, it’s your turn.”
He smiled and inched a step closer. “I am scary, right?”
Ai pursed her lips. “You are not scary to me.”
He stared at her with a squinted gaze until he laughed again. “You saw me killing that thief that night, didn’t you?”.
Her eyes slightly widened in surprise.
“Surprised? Of course I knew you were hiding near that shop. If I couldn’t be even that sharp not to notice you, I would have already died by that robber’s hands, wouldn’t I?”
That makes sense, she thought.
“I was surprised the police didn’t come knocking on my door the next day. Say, Zhou Ai. I must have really frightened you, right? Suddenly murdering someone in cold blood and not feeling guilty about it at all…”
Ai replied. “Initially, yes. It took me aback. I don’t know your background. You killed that thief, but in the end, you did it for my safety. You knew he was going to harm me. You have your own reasons and from an ethical standpoint, I should have gone to the police…” she lowered her gaze, “but I couldn’t do it.”
“It’s because-“
“I am not scared of you, Jun.”
“What do you understand!?” He exclaimed loudly, making her jolt. “You heard everything she had to say, yet you believe I am not scary? Come on, you should be crying right now. Just like her. Accuse me of what a terrible man I am. Do it already. I am waiting.”
“No matter how many times you ask me, my answer will be the same,” Ai remained firm.
Jun chuckled. He snaked his arm around her waist and suddenly pulled her until there was no space remaining between their chests. He held her chin between his fingers and bent towards her, closer to her lips. The tip of his nose faintly touched hers.
“Even now?” He whispered.
Ai shivered, not knowing if it was because of the cold winter wind or the warmth of his body touching hers. His chilly breath fluttered over her eyelashes.
He was threateningly close to kissing her, a distance which could make any woman uncomfortable if they were not in a relationship.
“Now will you still say that you don’t find me repulsive?” He asked as if he was challenging her.
Her eyelashes softly trembled. She met his gaze and parted her lips. “If I was really afraid of you, I wouldn’t have chosen to live with you. You can stop trying to intimidate me.”
Jun froze. He let go of her chin.
“…Then why is she scared of me?” His forehead softly collapsed on her shoulder. She felt his hot tears plop on the nape of her neck. His back was shivering like a child left alone in a dark room. Behind the mask was a face who didn’t have a trace of his iciness.
“I only ever loved her, Ai…I simply wanted to be with her. I-I cannot change that for anybody because that’s how I love. I am possessive. I wanted her all for myself. But I didn’t mean to scare her. Why couldn’t she understand that?” His voice broke. “We are childhood friends. We have known each other for so long. She should know me better. Then why did she choose my brother!? Why did she choose him? Why did my perfect love story have to end this way…?”
Ai felt her vision blur again. Her eyes ached but not because of Yating this time.
It was for Jun.
“Nobody can understand that better than me.”
Jun dryly laughed. “You cannot. Nobody can.”
“I do, Jun. I really do,” her eyes seemed hollow as she spoke, “Because the one I loved fell for someone who I held really dear to my heart. He fell for my best friend. It was me by his side for all these years…but then it was suddenly her. I didn’t even realize it. I didn’t…realize it at all…”
Ai then cried. She cried a lot. It was agonizing to bear the pain Yating gave her.
She didn’t know why, but she wailed loudly for the first time. Jun lost Shui to his brother. She lost Yating to her best friend who she treated like her sister.
For both of them, they lost their love to someone who they trusted the most. That’s why the betrayal hit even harder.
So, when she came to know that Jun went through the same grief as her, she fell apart. The moment of their last breaths of their past life flashed in her mind.
Ah. He is the same as me…
She now realized why she felt so strongly connected to Jun at that time. It was the pain they shared of losing their love to someone else. His gaze was just like hers – filled with grief and emptiness.
Jun was struck with the same realization as Ai.
Ah. That’s why…
As she wailed, so did he. He didn’t stop her, neither did she stop him. The place echoed with the sound of their cries. Right now, they were in someone’s company who understood the other the most.
Trembling and shivering with tears, Jun slowly raised his head. Their gazes met. They saw their reflection in each other’s eyes that mirrored their broken expressions.
Tears poured as their foreheads bumped. The dark night sky lit up with colorful fireworks as the clock struck twelve. As the twinkling pure snow quietly fell welcoming the new year, their lips gingerly met.