Novel Full 59 It's too late
The clock struck seven in the evening, and the clouds in the sky had changed their color to a sinister dark grey. It felt as if it was already night time in Beijing. The temperature had dropped to several degrees, making it chilly and freezing.
Dream High was empty. All the employees were busy celebrating and preparing to welcome the New Year, while Yating sat in his office alone waiting for Ai.
The door slowly opened, and Ai’s slender figure stepped in. Yating immediately got up from his seat and rushed towards her. He pulled her in his hug, his brows crinkled with worry and tension.
“Ai, where were you!? Do you…” he breathed uneasily, “Do you have any idea how worried I was?” The relief in his voice was evident.
Ai froze.
His scent invaded her nostrils that she very well remembered from her past life. The outline of his broad chest that had hugged her in its warm embrace so many times threatened to bring tears in her eyes. The memories of the sweet time they shared together gushed within her, and she silently gasped, controlling her urge to cry.
Yating pulled back. After a long time, a cheerful smile lifted his lips as he affectionately gazed at her.
“Ai…”.
His soft whisper made her tremble. She thought it would be easy to act indifferent after how she bore his cruel betrayal. Yet even now, she found her heart wavering by a simple loving whisper of her name.
“Where were you Ai? Do you understand how worried I was to know that you had an accident at home? Then I came to know that you are neither staying in Cai Guiying’s house nor Xing Bi’s.”
Ai averted her eyes and took a step back. Yating blinked.
She answered without much emotion in her tone, “I am fine. You don’t have to worry about me.”
The contours of her delicate face looked tense which didn’t go unnoticed by him. He felt a foreboding as if Ai was going somewhere far away from him. She behaved like this during the book signing event too, and he didn’t understand why.
“Where are you staying now? Is it any hotel?” Yating cleared his throat. “Ai, you could have called me if you had no place to stay. You know you are welcome at my home.”
She stiffened and gave a forced smile. “I didn’t want to bother you. It’s alright. I found a place to stay so-“
“What do you mean you don’t want to bother me?” Yating stared at her, stunned. “Ai, why would it be a bother? After all, you…”
She uncomfortably shifted in her place and felt it difficult to breathe.
“Ai, that’s why I called you today. I wanted to talk about this on Christmas, but I didn’t hear from you. Ai, I…I hadn’t planned it like this,” he scratched his head.
He inched towards her and held her hand in his. “Ai, I love you.”
The confession that had made her the happiest in her past life now felt stifling and suffocating.
Yating could hear his heart loudly pounding in his chest. “Will you…will you be my girlfriend?”
This wasn’t really the way he wanted to confess to her. He wanted it to be special and romantic. But an uneasy feeling nagged him since a couple of days that Ai was distancing her from him. Even if it wasn’t an ideal way to confess, he still did it anyway to make Ai his as soon as possible and throw that ominous, creeping feeling away.
Ai gasped agonizingly and shook her hands off. She retreated another step back.
Yating froze. She didn’t have to explicitly express her rejection now that he witnessed her reaction. What made him aghast was that he thought Ai returned his feelings. But watching her displeasure stabbed his heart ruthlessly.
“Ai…what’s wrong?” His voice quivered in fear as he spoke.
“N-Nothing. Gu Yating…”
Once again…once again she is taking my full name as if I am some stranger.
Ai never realized it would be so difficult to have this conversation. “I am sorry, Gu Yating. But it’s not…” the back of her throat felt painful, “possible between us.”
He shook.
“W-Why Ai? Why can’t we date?”
Did I see it wrongly? Ai seemed to be interested in me too. So why suddenly…
She lowered her gaze. “I didn’t attend to your calls because I was afraid you would confess to me. I hoped you would forget about me. But I had no choice but to clear everything out today.”
Yating took a step forward, and she immediately distanced herself from him again. He stared at her blankly. The hand that was about to reach her froze mid-air.
“Ai, have I hurt you somehow?”
She said nothing.
“Even during the event, you were avoiding me. Ai, are you angry because of the accusations? If it’s like that, then it’s indeed my mistake. You can punish me however you like. Dream High made you suffer unnecessarily when you weren’t at fault. I am really, really sorry,” a frost covered his eyes as he thought back to the signing event.
“It’s not because of those accusations, Gu Yating.”
“Then…” he clenched his fists, “i-is it because I couldn’t save you from falling off the stairs?”
Ai paled.
The visible reaction confirmed Yating’s suspicions. But even if he knew, he didn’t know how to apologize for it. His lips parted and closed.
“I…I am sorry. I really didn’t mean to just stand there and do nothing. Trust me, Ai. I really wanted to save you. It’s just…” he rubbed his neck feeling nauseous, “happened too suddenly. I couldn’t react in time. I love you. You are the last person I would bear to see hurt.”
The tears that Ai were holding onto finally slipped out. The horror and disappointment she felt as she fell to her death in her past life plagued her again. It was too agonizing and excruciating to bear.
Yating desperately clung to her shoulders. “Ai, please don’t cry. Please let me make it up to you. I will do anything you want. I…I don’t know what to do. I have been feeling guilty ever since that moment, Ai. I feel pathetic,” he trembled. “If you need some time to think it over, then please do. But-but please don’t reject me, Ai…”
She slowly shook her head, her tears falling. “You cannot do anything, Gu Yating. You cannot do anything to make this right anymore. It’s too late.”