Novel Full 484 What is there to talk about?
Zixin remembered seeing the piece of paper in her house which was a note from MrPerfect. Guiying was too anxious to hide it from him. It made him feel that MrPerfect wasn’t just another of her readers. Their relationship was far more than that.
“MrPerfect?”
Guiying stiffened.
Did I say that out loud?
Before she could brush the matter off, he asked, “Who is MrPerfect?”
His tone held a strong sense of inquisitiveness as he looked at her deeply. But for Zixin, it wasn’t just curiosity but also caution.
Was there someone else closer to Guiying just like he was?
When he thought of that, an unsettled feeling welled in his chest. His fists clenched unconsciously.
“Who is MrPerfect?” He asked again.
Her expression cracked, and she began to sweat. Her heart sped faster in her chest. “Ju-Just one of my…readers…”
But it was as clear as day from her expression that he wasn’t ‘just’ a reader to her. There was something more about him.
Zixin wasn’t ready to let go of this. The more Guiying looked unperturbed by his mention, the more discomfort grew within Zixin too.
“You had kept his notes very carefully,” he said. “Doesn’t seem like just a reader to me.”
“W-well…he is my f-fan and I…treasure every gift I receive…” she began to tremble with her vision casting a blur of tears in front of her. She felt like a dagger piercing her heart as she recalled everything about MrPerfect.
His letters, his sweet words, his unwavering support and loyalty towards her…
But then there was the ugly side of those feelings.
Betrayal, lies, deceit.
She could still remember the night at Shanghai when ‘she’ patiently waited for MrPerfect to appear and resolve the misunderstanding. It wasn’t only the alter ego but inside, she was desperate to meet him as well. But he never came and with that, all her hopes had shattered.
Zixin stared at her. “Then why does it look like you are crying? Talking about your loyal reader should be a happy thing, right?”
She froze.
Feeling breathless and strangled, she spoke in a hoarse voice, “C-can we not talk about this please…?”
Zixin felt a sense of darkness enveloping him. For Guiying to cry for someone and that someone being an unknown man who had deeply affected her – knowing this whole situation bothered him too. A lot more than he would admit to himself.
Bothered, confused, furious, restless and anxiety – all these distasteful emotions filled his heart like a strong wave crushing the coast. He didn’t want to be this stubborn in pursuing this matter, but he couldn’t find himself letting go of it either.
“I want to know…Please, I want to know,” he urged.
Somebody else more special to you, somebody you care about more than just a friend or a reader…I want to know about him because it…it bothers me so much.
Guiying felt she would reach her breaking point if she was asked to talk about MrPerfect. Not only that, since MrPerfect was none other than Jun himself, she couldn’t bring herself to reveal his identity and cause a rift between the cousins.
“I need to go.”
She grabbed her bag and rushed out of the cafe without giving him any chance to speak.
At first, she walked hurriedly along the pedestrian path but then began to run with her tears fluttering with the wind hitting her face. She was already tired and out of breath, but she still kept running.
I am an idiot. It’s just impossible to forget about him.
I am really an idiot. I thought I wasn’t so bothered anymore ever since I met Zixin, but he just…keeps reminding me of MrPerfect every single time!
How will I ever be able to forget him then…?
Suddenly her mad rush stopped abruptly when a hand grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. Shocked, she turned and saw Zixin firmly holding onto her hand.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
Zixin said, slightly out of breath, “Stopping you.”
“I don’t want to be stopped, so please let me go.”
“I cannot let you go after seeing you crying like that. Please tell me…why are you crying? Why does the mention of MrPerfect make you sad? That evening too, you looked just like this.”
She toughened up her voice to deter him. “This has nothing to d-do with you.”
“Why?” He grabbed her arm and pulled her closer until her body bumped against his. “Why does it have nothing to do with me? When it was Cai Lingyun acting violent with you, ‘she’ said it had nothing to do with me. Today, I asked about MrPerfect and you say I have nothing to do with it either. Then which part of your life do I hold the right to question and know more about? Which side of yours do I have the right to learn more about? You and ‘her’ both accepted my friendship, so why is it that I still don’t or can’t know anything about you?”
For the first time, Guiying saw the look of frustration in Zixin’s otherwise placid and gentle eyes. His expression that she could notice up close with such proximity held a lot of questions for which he was stubborn to get his answers today.
“Why can’t you tell me about MrPerfect?”
“Because there is nothing to say!” She exclaimed and pushed him back.
She then broke down as she covered her face with her palms. “What is there to talk about a man who broke my heart?”
Zixin froze.
Broke her heart…
The one thing which he feared the most somewhere in the corner of his heart turned out to be true.
“No it’s not him…What is there to talk about a woman who jumped in joy to receive his cards and flowers? What is there to talk about a woman who foolishly fell in love with an online identity? It’s stupid, right?” She laughed amidst her falling tears. “Chatting with a man in an online forum, feeling happy over the gifts and cards from him, blushing over his sweet words that made my heart pound and stupidly thinking that that man also took it seriously as I…what is there to talk about an idiot like me!?”