471 The same question once again
It was the first time that evening that ‘Guiying’, the alter personality in Guiying who had been protecting her for a long time now, had shed tears.
‘You did your very best.’
‘I am so, so proud of you.’
His voice felt like a warm, gentle tide of the ocean, but it rang a loud resonance inside ‘her’ heart that shook her from within. There was no reason to believe that Zixin was talking to ‘her.’ He was in the dark about ‘her’ existence. It should have been Guiying. The Cai Guiying everybody knew as CherryBlossom.
But for the first time, ‘she’ felt that he was talking directly to ‘her.’ ‘She’ suddenly felt exposed but more than that, ‘she’ couldn’t explain why a tear slipped past her cheek.
It was a short call. Zixin said a simple thank you. But it reached the deepest part of ‘her’ heart because it was the first time that ‘she’ felt recognized.
‘She’ felt that her existence was recognized. ‘She’ felt praised for who ‘she’ was and what ‘she’ did. ‘She’ had been silently protecting Guiying for all these years as a shadow who only bared her fangs whenever Guiying was in danger.
But ‘her’ existence was never known to the world.
It wasn’t normal for somebody to have two personalities living within them. ‘She’ never talked to people like Guiying did. ‘She’ never enjoyed her life like other people did because ‘she’ was aware of what her existence was.
It was temporary. ‘She’ was born to protect her until the time someone else more capable, more loving and more caring will step into Guiying’s life and fill in ‘her’ shoes.
When that day would come, ‘she’ knew she would fade away. ‘She’ would cease to exist.
That’s why when Zixin appreciated ‘her’, ‘she’ let herself live in that moment as just the identity of who ‘she’ was. ‘She’ basked in that moment of recognition and joy that somebody acknowledged how hard it was to live a life like Guiying and ‘she’ did.
‘She’ wasn’t sure why her train of thoughts led her in that direction.
Did Zixin know about ‘her’?
His words sounded cryptic, and the meaning behind his gratitude was a mystery.
But ‘Guiying’ felt like a person of her own for the very first time.
And as ‘she’ peered into Zixin’s eyes at this moment, it dawned upon her that her suspicions were right.
Zixin knew. It was why something felt odd when he spoke. ‘She’ wasn’t sure how she felt about this.
“Why would you meet him again?” ‘She’ asked with a tinge of iciness in her voice.
He paused, wondering if he should mention his conversation with Ai where she revealed about Guiying’s split personality. But he felt that it was something that Ai should speak to Guiying herself.
“I came to know that Cai Lingyun was planning to cause some trouble for you. I was keeping an eye on him after he was violent to you and then was released from jail.”
A long silence ensued.
“And?” ‘Guiying’ chuckled. “What did he say? He must have praised me so much. A crazy woman. A mentally retarted woman turning violent all of a sudden. An abnormal woman with somebody else living inside her,” ‘she’ laughed. “What did Cai Lingyun have to say?”
“I don’t know,” Zixin replied. “It never got that far because by then, I made it sure he wasn’t in the position to spout nonsense.”
‘She’ stiffened.
“…What did you do with him?”
“Rest assured. He is at a place from where he wouldn’t be able to appear in front of your sight ever again,” a chill echoed in his voice at the end of his sentence.
Hearing that, ‘Guiying’ felt uneasy but those emotions didn’t belong to hers. Instead, it was the real Guiying who couldn’t help but feel concerned for her brother.
That added to ‘her’ frustration which ‘she’ vented out on Zixin. “That’s great. I don’t care what happens to that fucker. But the question is what do you want from me? Fine. You know about me. So what?”
‘She’ sneered. “Go ahead if you want to make fun of me or that idiot inside me. I must be looking like a clown to you, don’t I?”
Zixin shook his head. “Of course not.”
“Then why did you call me here!?”
‘Guiying’ breathed out a little restlessly. ‘She’ couldn’t understand what she was afraid and anxious of and for the first time, ‘she’ felt like running away from him rather than having a confrontation.
“I have some things to say to you.”
‘She’ narrowed her eyes.
“First was what I already said on the phone that evening. I have thanked you, but it was important to express my gratitude in person. So…”
He bowed his head and said, “Thank you for protecting Guiying all this time. I never imagined that you would have such a difficult childhood. But you fought with all the strength you had. I sincerely appreciate you from the bottom of my heart.”
‘Guiying’ was once again frustrated but not because she was furious at Zixin. ‘She’ felt she was unable to hide the overwhelming sense of emotions gushing within her heart.
Feeling acknowledged meant the world to ‘her.’ Even more so when a man like Chen Zixin was bowing his head in front of ‘her.’
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I do,” Zixin firmly said. “‘You’ deserve all the respect in this world which Cai Lingyun failed to give you. Whether it’s Guiying or you, the only thing you deserve the most is love and nothing else.”
‘She’ clenched the hem of her dress, ‘her’ vision getting blurry.
Zixin met her gaze once again. “That was the first and utmost important feeling I wanted to express. The second thing. When I heard about ‘you,’ I realized a grave error I made in my behavior.”
‘Guiying’ frowned.
What mistake is he talking about?
Zixin solemnly said, “That day at your home, I asked if I could be your friend.”
“So?”
“At that time, I wasn’t aware of ‘you.’ I asked that question to Guiying. But now that I know, it’s only natural that I ask ‘you’ too. Can I be ‘your’ friend?”