Novel Full 398 Logic obscures feelings
Licking some more of his ice cream, Zhou Yichen darted his gaze at Ai. “You know which is the annoying organ in a human”s body? The heart. The brain can be pretty much rational and logical, but when feelings come in between, it messes up the whole pace and situation at times.”
Ai’s eyes looked thoughtful.
“It’s worse when the heart and the mind are not in sync. Even worse when what you think is something rational does not necessarily mean the same for the other person. You were not wrong in helping Gu Yating. But why you helped him started to look suspicious for Jun-cute. I am a man just like Jun-cute. I have loved a woman just like him, so I have an inkling of what he is thinking.”
He popped in the last bite of the cone and dusted his hands. “It would have been less of a problem if Gu Yating’s feelings were one-sided. But there was a time you had something for him too. I don’t know why you rejected him. Maybe there was some misunderstanding between you two. Then you learned what Gu Yating was planning to do for you. You learned his trauma, and it seems you realized you thought wrongly of him all this time. He is not a bad guy, after all.”
Ai nodded her head very slowly.
Zhou Yichen shrugged. “But that kind of a situation does something to the person involved. We usually feel bad when we are wrong about something. It heightens when that something is actually a person. We behaved and acted unjustly to him. That feeling eats us up from within.
Thoughts like, ‘Ah he wasn’t wrong.’ or ‘I made a mistake.’ or ‘I shouldn’t have done this to him.’ or…’I feel guilty.'”
Ai stiffened.
“‘So to compensate for my mistake, I will try to help him as much as possible. That’s the least I can do,’ was what you were thinking, right?”
She said nothing, but her silence was the answer.
“But you didn’t realize your behavior because you thought that it was rational of you. You give logic behind your actions and when you do that, the part of understanding others’ feelings becomes obscure at times.”
Zhou Yichen adjusted the position of his twig between his lips. “That’s what happened between you and Jun-cute. Now, if you think about everything from Jun-cute’s perspective, what do you think he is seeing? He is seeing that the man you disliked so much until now is suddenly not so bad anymore. It irks Jun-cute because Gu Yating is the same man you liked once upon a time. Then he saw your heart soften for him and he wondered,
‘Ah, will they be friends now?’ or ‘How much more of her heart will melt for him?’ or ‘She went to take care of him. Is that because she is beginning to like him again?’ or ‘She danced with him. Is that because her old feelings are coming back to her once again?’ or ‘Is she so touched by him that she will forget me one day?’ or ‘What would happen to me if they got even closer? Will she eventually leave me for him one day?” is what Jun-cute is thinking.”
Silence. The wind softly howled and Ai’s hair fluttered with it.
Zhou Yichen touched his chin. “I won’t say it’s wrong of you to be friends with Gu Yating either. But you should learn how to balance the distance between your friendship with him and your relationship with Jun-cute. It’s a veeeeeery fine thread you are walking on.”
He tilted his head. “Or I think you are being misled by your friendship with Han Shui.”
Ai blinked twice. “Misled?”
He shrugged again. “Well, aren’t you friends with Han Shui? You said so. You even went to her banquet. Normally, it’s very difficult for the ex and the current partners to be friends with each other. You know why. You like the same person so it becomes complicated. But you and Han Shui are pretty much cool about it. So did you unconsciously think that this is applicable for everybody?”
“Of course not-“
“I said unconsciously, not consciously. Then again, you should think about the whole situation holistically. Why was it easy for you and Han Shui to bond? Simply because you said Han Shui really doesn’t love Jun-cute. If she doesn’t love him, there is no reason for things to become complicated between you two. Consecutively, it’s easier for you two to be friends. That’s not the case between Jun-cute and Gu Yating.
Gu Yating still seems to have feelings for you. So, you cannot expect Jun-cute to act warmly towards him when he likes the same woman as him. More so when Jun-cute thinks you are getting closer to him. You are seeing that as your responsibility, but he isn’t. So, the dynamics between you and Han Shui and between Gu Yating and Jun-cute is different. You might have thought that if Shui and I could become good friends, Jun and Yating might become one day too.”
Ai lowered her gaze and slowly pursed her lips.
“Come on!” Zhou Yichen vigorously patted her shoulder. “Don’t look so dead. You can say…It’s neither your and Jun-cute’s fault but also both of you at the same. The situation was tricky.”
“Nothing is Jun’s fault,” she whispered.
He chuckled. “I don’t mean it that way. But trust is really important in a relationship. Surely, there are things with which you made him uncomfortable. But if he really knows you, he would know that you won’t betray him. You won’t love another man and leave him. It’s fine to be jealous. But it’s lethal to be anxious. Insecurities open a whole different can of worms. If there is no trust, it’s easy to shake a relationship very easily.”
He got up and smiled. “Then again, having fear and insecurities is what makes us humans. The only way to deal with it is to realize our mistakes, face them and build even deeper trust along the way.”