Novel Full 139 Don't let go of Ai
Ai burst into a light cough. “Chocolate…?”
“Yes. For Jun. After all, you two…” Mrs. Quan sheepishly grinned. “I don’t need to say it out loud, right?”
They stiffened.
Jun grimaced and gave a sardonic smile. “Mrs. Quan. I think you are too bored.”
“…”
“Should I take over as the Head Librarian because clearly, your attention is somewhere else rather than books,” he sneered.
Mrs. Quan flared her nostrils and grabbed Jun’s arm. She kindly smiled at Ai. “Give us a moment, okay?”
“Sure,” Ai smiled back but internally, her mind was occupied with the thoughts of chocolates and Jun.
“Hey! Where are you taking me!?”
Mrs. Quan dragged him into a corner and checked that Ai wasn’t within the hearing range..
“Young lad, what are you doing?”
“What am I doing?”
“Don’t act so ignorant! Why are you still behaving so coldly? I am not blind.”
Jun sneered. “Are you sure?”
She gritted her teeth. “I mean to say when will you confess to her?”
He froze.
“What…what the hell are you talking about!?” He glared at her. Her question sent his heart into a frenzy.
“Jun, you cannot be so dumb that you haven’t noticed your feelings, right? Ever since you have met Ai, you have changed so much.”
“I don’t think so,” he shot cold jabs at her.
“Hmph. You won’t notice it but as a third person, I have. You treat Ai differently than other women. I mean, how many women regularly dream of catching your attention? But you never spared them a glance. But towards Ai, you change. You get anxious when she is not around. You let her stay at your house for a month. You come and go to and from this library so many times! Does any other woman have that liberty?”
Every word struck his heart, at the place where he didn’t wish to. It wasn’t that he was unaware of this growing attraction he felt for Ai. But the grief from his past life didn’t let his heart accept the fact that…
“You have a special place for Ai in your heart,” she eagerly exclaimed in a hushed voice, “I am sure Ai feels the same way for you.”
He stiffened.
“And it’s Valentine’s week. You shouldn’t let this chance go. She is such a nice girl. Polite, responsible, wise and calm. Whenever I look at you two, my heart feels so happy. You two are really compatible. You two look so good together. You won’t meet another woman like Ai, Jun.”
He trembled. His chest tightened at her thought.
I know…There is nobody like Ai…Nobody can be like Ai…
But I…am flawed. I will only suffocate her. Just like how I suffocated Shui.
Just the rememberance of his relationship filled him with self-loathe. He felt hollowed out as if he was nothing but an empty shell. He was supposed to cherish the woman he loved, but he made her hate him to the point that he drove her away towards his own brother.
If one day Ai also says that I stifle her then…
He took a strained, silent gasp, his face turning slightly pale from imagining a future where Ai would begin to loathe him too. He envisioned her leaving him but what frightened him the most that he might not her go.
If he fell in love once again and if history chose to repeat itself, he was afraid he would be obsessed with Ai just how he had made everyone’s lives miserable in his past life.
Mrs. Quan pinched his cheek. “Don’t be so terrified, Jun. Ai is a very strong woman. She can take the love you have to give her.”
His eyes shot open in disbelief. But soon, a sense of numbness enveloped him as he mockingly chuckled in sadness. “You don’t know how I am, Mrs. Quan.”
“I think I know, Jun. You are a passionate man. Possessive and a little controlling at times perhaps?” She smiled. “Everybody loves differently. Some may find your way frightening.”
He stiffened, thinking about Shui.
“But some accept it wholeheartedly. Because that is your way of loving. Ai is the kind of woman who won’t ever run away from you, Jun. You don’t have to chase after her to prevent her from escaping you because you will always find her beside you.”
He inhaled sharply.
“Ai is a gem. If you realize your feelings too late, you will lose her forever,” she gave it a thought and said, “Do you know what I like about you two the most? When you are all by yourself, you seem lost and alone. But when she is by your side, it feels that you have found a place to belong to. When you get restless or angry, she calms you down. Her presence tethers you that won’t ever make you lose your way.”
His gaze flickered. His expression was indecipherable. But his heart beat loudly in his chest.
Mrs. Quan ruffled his hair.
“H-Hey!”
She harrumphed. “That’s why you should listen to me. Don’t let go of Ai. You might not realize the importance now. But one day, if another man stepped into her life and took her away, your heart would be only filled with regrets.”
He froze.
She grinned. “Now, I will be back to my work. Oh, by the way. There are women eagerly waiting for you. They want to give chocolates to you~”
His expression turned ugly.
“I don’t like chocolates,” he coldly warned. “If women come crying to you, don’t blame me.”
He turned to look for Ai but found her missing from her place.
“…”
Did she go ahead without me?
He climbed up to the third floor and stepped in. Immediately, women gasped and squealed and shyly looked away. Everybody held a small packet which definitely had chocolate in it.
He is coming! He is coming!
But Jun was only focused on finding Ai. Which he didn’t.
His gaze darkened.
Did she use the chance and escape back to her home!?