Chapter 37: Learning to be Both

We were lying in bed staring at the ceiling. And when I say we I mean both of myselves.

I had told Olivander that I was going to stay and rest some more and told Splendith to not let anyone disturb me. That was after thanking her for keeping me company, I didn't have to thank Olivander because he is my big brother.

We were both staring up at the ceiling, well Lucarion was staring up at the ceiling all I could see was the bottom of the top bunkbed half a meter away.

Anyways I've been doing it for what has felt like ages. Trying to get my overlapping vision. And I have! It’s similar to when I look into the lake. Where if I stare into it, I can see the fish swimming, but I can also see its reflection and gaze upon the sky. Except the bottom of the lake is my bunkbed and the reflection is the ceiling.

This had been much easier than when I had first tried. It was actually Lucarion’s experience that had helped. I remembered Indolyn telling me not to push, to let it form itself during concentric summoning lessons. Instead of trying to force my vision to what I wanted I had to let it choose for itself.

Like being caught in a river current, fighting only exhausts you and risks you falling under, but if you relax and focus on floating, you can stay above water until the current subsides and you can swim ashore.

Moving both bodies the same way was almost easy. Strange, but easy. If Olive lifted her arm, Lucarion could lift his. If Lucarion stretched his fingers, Olive could stretch hers. It was like copying myself in a mirror, except the mirror was also me.

The problem started when I tried to make me(us?) do different things.

At first, I thought it would be like patting my head and rubbing my stomach.

It was not.

That had a rhythm. Pat, rub, pat, rub. Once you find the rhythm, your hands stopped feeling separated. They became one strange movement.

This had no rhythm.

Olive needed to move for Olive reasons. Lucarion needed to move for Lucarion reasons. If I made them match, it was easy. If I made them different, one always tried to copy the other, or froze, or moved a moment too late.

Hours passed as I practiced. The ache in my limbs grew dull, then sharp again, my muscles protesting each movement.  As I swung my limbs, clenched my fist, moved my head, and rolled in bed trying different things from the same place. I must have looked like an idiot to anyone else as I just followed my immediate instincts so I would move as fast as possible.

I sat up, got off the beds, and started walking. It actually felt pretty normal. I wanted to move my right leg and we did.

Easy.

I stood in front of a mirror and had Lucarion close his eyes. That way, I only had to deal with Olive’s vision. Just me and my reflection. I raised my right hand. In the mirror, the other Olive raised her left. So I made Lucarion do that. If Olive moved her right hand, Lucarion had to move his left. If Olive turned her head one way, Lucarion had to turn the other.

It was like teaching one body to be the reflection of the other. It was harder than copying the same movement, but easier than making them do two completely different things. So I kept practicing reverse movements. I practiced moving all day. I got a little restless cooped up in those rooms, so I started making little games for myself.

I would try hopping on one leg, trading off between them. At first, I kept falling because hopping with Olive's left and Lucarion’s right felt like jumping, except for when I landed and didn't have enough balance.

After that, I tried staggering my movements to see if I could keep one body a step behind the other.

Olive would touch her nose, then her shoulder, then her knee. Lucarion had to follow the same pattern, but one movement late. So when Olive touched her shoulder, Lucarion touched his nose. When Olive touched her knee, Lucarion touched his shoulder. When Olive jumped, Lucarion touched his knee.

On and on we went, trying to go faster without falling into the same movement.

I had to restart several times because one of me would forget the delay and copy the other at the exact same time.

Eventually, it became a competition.

I tried seeing which could jump the highest, which could run the fastest, and who could do the most jumping jacks.

***

I was on my knees, gasping for breath.

‘12 to 0,’ I thought after beating myself at a breath-holding contest.

‘And one draw,’ my red-skinned self complained.

That was to see which of us could spin the longest without getting dizzy.

Foolish in hindsight.

During this time, I had gotten a lot better at controlling my bodies, but I also learned something.

Lucarion was weak!

‘I mean, every time you lost focus, you defaulted to Olive’s perspective,’ my inner voice whined, having taken Lucarion’s voice.

‘No, I didn’t,’ I retorted.

But I knew that was a lie even as I thought it, I remembered when we were throwing the pillows up to see if I could catch them. Whenever I would lose focus and it looked like I would let it fall, I would focus on Olive and catch it with her.

‘Plus,’ he added, ‘it seems like whenever I lost, it becomes easier for you.’

I was, of course, thinking of the breath-holding competition I had just done. When I felt like I was about to suffocate, the second Lucarion drew in his breath, I felt like I could hold it for longer.

‘That’s what we should practice next,’ we decided.

***

At first, I practiced moving around while Lucarion meditated, repeating everything we had done before. Since he was already staying still, I used the chance to have him focus on concentric summoning without actually summoning any lesser demons.

The circles appeared around him, runes drifting along their edges, though their color was muted since he wasn’t putting any magic into them. He made them grow and shrink while I kept moving.

I definitely had more stamina and control over my body while Lucarion rested. It was like being on your feet for hours and finally sitting down. The ache in your legs is still there, and you know you may have to get up again soon, but for that one moment, your whole body goes, thank Lumisiel, chair.

But the greatest accomplishment was when I tried to relax as Olive.

***

I had been doing cartwheels while Olive meditated when I felt power around me, and rune symbols rose all around.

I stopped cartwheeling and gasped in surprise as I recognized the runes and looked down.

It was the circles. Olive had summoned the concentric circle around me.

I kept moving and had Olive try to change the circle. The middle rim would shrink and expand. It was harder to do than as Lucarion, but not by that much. Kinda like comparing running up a hill versus running on sand.

I tried exiting the circle to see if it would hold, but the moment I exited the smaller ring, it collapsed.

I sat on both of my beds and tried to start up the circle. Then I started circling the bed while remaining inside the inner circle. Olive tried shrinking it, but the moment the inner edge touched me, it shattered.

Then I tried having Olive expand it before I could reach it, but it was so slow-moving, and more effort didn’t seem to speed it up.

Finally, I had her actually activate it.

The runes floated all around, as they became bright with colors, and little dogs started to crawl out of the runes. I had three lesser hellhounds running around me before I knew it.

I sat down on the bed and focused, and another four lesser hellhounds popped up.

Seven in total!

My previous record had been five.

I practiced for the rest of that day. Seeing if it would change depending on who activated it, who started it.

I went to bed exhausted. The moment my head hit the pillow, I was out. Fortunately, I wasn’t splitting my days anymore, so when I slept, both of me actually slept.