Chapter 439: I’m Done!

"Bring him to my private chambers immediately. If anyone attempts to outbid me, I will paint this atrium with their internal organs."

Madam Rouge swallowed hard, nodding frantically. "I-Immediately, My Lord! The broker is yours!"

Down on the stage, Lin Ji’an stretched her arms, completely oblivious to the fact that she had just successfully seduced the Top Courtesan, paralyzed her own rescue team with thirst, and accidentally sold herself to the most sadistic, overpowered demon lord on the continent.

She turned to walk off the stage, plotting exactly how many explosive talismans it would take to blow a hole in the dungeon floor.

’Finally,’ Ji’an thought, rubbing the back of her neck. ’The dancing is over. Now I can just go rescue the idiots and get back to normal.’

She had no idea the night hadn’t even truly begun.

***

The tragedy of being hyper-competent in a world governed by romantic tropes is that every time you try to solve a problem with logic, the universe interprets it as an act of seduction.

Lin Ji’an stood in the center of the obsidian stage, releasing her grip on the Top Courtesan, Su Liuyun.

She stepped back, brushing a stray lock of luminescent silver hair from her eyes, completely ignoring the fact that Liuyun was currently staring at her collarbones as if they held the secrets to eternal life.

The Grand Atrium of the Crimson Lotus Pavilion was vibrating with the hysterical roar of thousands of wealthy, morally bankrupt patrons.

They were hurling spirit stones, jade jewelry, and silk undergarments onto the stage.

The silver-haired broker hadn’t just danced; she had conquered the Main Dancer.

’Okay, distraction successful,’ Ji’an calculated, tuning out the screaming crowd. ’The audience is captivated. Madam Rouge is distracted. Now I just need to spot the emergency exits, calculate the optimal trajectory to the dungeons, and—’

Ji’an’s silver-flecked eyes swept the ground floor of the atrium.

Her high-tier Qi-sense instantly zeroed in on a cluster of spiritual signatures standing near the eastern serving aisle.

She paused.

She narrowed her eyes, peering through the dim, red-tinted lantern light.

There, standing frozen amidst the chaotic throng of patrons, was her "stealth" extraction team.

The terrifying male prodigies of the Celestial Sword Sect Vanguard Retinue had successfully infiltrated the audience.

And they were wearing the Crimson Lotus servant uniforms.

Ji’an’s brain blue-screened.

She stared at Gu Zhiwei.

The Holy Son of the Azure Empire was wearing a completely transparent silk vest that left nothing to the imagination, exposing his perfectly sculpted abs.

His pants rode so dangerously low on his hips that it was a miracle they hadn’t fallen off.

He was clutching a serving tray over his crotch, weeping silently, his golden eyes locked onto her with a mixture of trauma and hopeless, puppy-dog adoration.

She stared at Lu Jianheng.

The peerless, elegant Sword Lord was wearing a black leather bondage harness crisscrossing over his bare chest, and silk pants slit all the way up his thighs.

He looked like an aristocratic dominatrix who had taken a wrong turn at an etiquette seminar. He was biting his lip so hard it was bleeding, staring at her with intense, tsundere longing.

She stared at Wen Shiru, the merchant heir, who was wearing an off-the-shoulder mesh tunic, clicking his gold abacus with one hand while holding a platter of wine with the other, his glasses completely fogged over with sweat.

But the crescendo of the nightmare was Xie Wangchen.

The Sovereign of the Eternal Cloud Peak was forced into a silver-threaded belly-dancer halter top and flowing white silk pants.

However, his immortal core was in a state of such meltdown that the fabric was covered in a jagged layer of thick black frost.

He wasn’t holding a serving tray.

He was holding a thirty-foot executioner’s scythe made of solid black ice. His ruby eyes were bleeding a terrifying crimson light into the air as he glared at Su Liuyun with the pure intent to commit mass genocide.

And standing right next to the apocalyptic Ice Demon was Shen Zechuan, wearing a matching belly-dancer outfit, happily eating a frozen grape, giving Ji’an a cheerful, enthusiastic thumbs-up.

Ji’an’s soul detached from her physical body.

It floated upward, phased through the ceiling of the brothel, entered the stratosphere, and prayed for the sweet release of a meteor strike.

’They are wearing stripper clothes,’ Ji’an’s internal monologue whispered, her mind broken by the density of the second-hand cringe. ’My rescue team consists of a weeping golden retriever in a crop-top, an aristocrat in a leather harness, and a yandere immortal holding a scythe while dressed like a belly dancer. I am going to murder them. I am going to boil their bones for stock.’

She couldn’t even make eye contact with them.

The humiliation was too profound.

***

Before Ji’an could hop off the stage and strangle her own retinue, Madam Rouge stepped into the spotlight.

The demonic matriarch was practically vibrating with greed and lust. She held up her hands, and the cavernous atrium instantly fell silent.

"Esteemed guests!" Madam Rouge’s sultry voice echoed through the amphitheater. "You have witnessed the unparalleled, breathtaking majesty of our newest arrival! A broker of men who outshines the stars themselves!"

The crowd roared in agreement.

"While a treasure of this magnitude cannot simply be bought..." Madam Rouge purred, casting a ravenous glance at Ji’an. "The Crimson Lotus Pavilion is, above all, a place of hospitality. The broker will be retained as an honored guest of the highest rank. Equal to our precious Liuyun!"

Su Liuyun, still panting slightly from the dance, stood up and smoothed his heavy amethyst robes, shooting Ji’an a dark, intensely competitive, utterly smitten foxy smile.

"However!" Madam Rouge announced, her eyes gleaming. "For tonight’s Welcoming Ceremony... we shall auction off the exclusive right to a private, intimate tea ceremony with the broker in the Moon-Viewing Pavilion! The starting bid is fifty thousand high-grade spirit stones!"

"ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND!" a wealthy demonic warlord in the front row screamed instantly.

"TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND!" shrieked a wealthy succubus matriarch from the second tier.

Ji’an stood on the stage, entirely appalled.

’They are auctioning off a playdate with me,’ Ji’an thought, her jaw tightening. ’I am not a prize poodle! I am a Chef! If they want a tea ceremony, they better be prepared to pay me union wages and provide a full dental plan!’

Down in the servant aisles, the Vanguard Retinue boys were having a collective aneurysm.

"THEY ARE BIDDING ON HIS PURITY!" Gu Zhiwei wailed, nearly dropping his serving tray. "I MUST BID! I MUST SAVE HIM! HOW MANY SPIRIT STONES DO WE HAVE?!"

"I have liquidated the Wen Consortium’s liquid assets in my spatial ring!" Wen Shiru yelled, his fingers flying across the abacus. "I can authorize up to five million! But the bidding is accelerating too rapidly! The return on investment is terrible, but I must secure the monopoly!"

"I WILL JUST KILL THE HIGHEST BIDDER!" Hu Yanlie roared from the back, having torn his servant vest completely off, flexing his raw, scarred pecs.

"Stand down," Xie Wangchen purred.

His voice was so terrifyingly cold that the temperature of the atrium dropped.

The black ice on his belly-dancer top spread to the floor. "No one is buying her time. If a single patron approaches the stage, I will freeze the blood in their veins until they shatter."

***

High above the escalating chaos, in the luxurious Third-Tier VIP Suite, Yan Xuanye stood by the shattered velvet railing.

The Blood Sovereign of the Demon Palace had been fully prepared to drop a bid so astronomically high it would have bankrupted a small nation.

He had been fully prepared to claim the silver-haired "young master" who used to hit him with rolling pins, drag her back to his palace, and force her to cook him pork buns until the end of time.

He opened his mouth to shout his bid, an aura of terrifying, blood-red demonic Qi beginning to flare around his purple hair.

And then, his glowing amber eyes caught a glint of black frost in the servant aisles below.

Yan Xuanye paused.

He narrowed his eyes, peering through the dim light.

He saw a towering man wearing a silver-threaded halter top. He saw the cascading silver hair.

He saw the executioner’s scythe made of solid black ice. And he felt the killing intent of the Sovereign of the Eternal Cloud Peak.