Chapter 536: A Role Without a Place

Another failure that made it five in a row, and it only felt like it was going to continue like that. How many did they still have left? He’d been with this group for a good amount of time now; they would spend months, good months, before they made any progress at this rate, before they had even a small win.

He has tried asking the shadows around, at each of the places he’s been with the group, but they all said the same thing. ’There isn’t a way out...’

He lay down on a wooden log, covering his mouth with laced fingers. The others around him still looked to be in a good mood; true, they have a lot more failures than him, so maybe they have gotten used to it. But at the same time, why was he the only one who was doubting this whole plan?

...

’Is it... because my reason to get out is also to help the people from the real world?’ A lot, he will go as far as to say that the majority, if not all, Readers in the Wonderland wanted to get out of the place, and they all had their reasons, but the biggest of all, even to him, was for his own safety for himself.

With that in mind, Keres’ plan wasn’t bad at all, since really, they were going to get out if there was a way they were, even if it meant going through the whole of the Wonderland; after all, with the place being infinite, who said that the way out can’t be just far away? It just took too much to reach that place.

So if the sole reason you wanted to get out was your pure desperation for your own safety, then this was a good plan; after all, you had people to keep you safe, and all you had to do was walk, and sometimes fight.

...

He also wanted to get out; his reason was also selfish, but at the same time... a part of him also wanted to get out so he could help his people, the Withered, and just anyone from the real world.

...

’But... why? I don’t think this was my wish before... so what has suddenly come over me?’ But was it... really something that happened out of nowhere? Even before, after seeing Keres protect his people, a small fire started burning whenever it came to him having to protect others, or at the thought of it.

He never felt it... at least, not in a while.

When he was a child, he hated death a lot; he disliked it with all his heart, and he was afraid of it. He used to read all these stories about knights saving people, and he himself wanted to become one.

True, he never became one, not even close, and his opinion on death was definitely not the same. But the feeling he got as a child about death... was similar to the small fire that burned inside his soul whenever it came to saving people.

So was the small fire... just a piece of his child self; is that why it had suddenly gotten so big, because he had accepted that part of himself in the forest?

Aether sighed, getting up to his feet, stretching his body slightly, as it had gotten stiff.

He turned towards Keres’ tent, where the man seemed to be deep in thought at his desk, with his maps in front of him, probably just drawing another route for them to take. He couldn’t help but feel... slightly disappointed.

...

He didn’t see any reason in continuing to search for the way out; he had said this once, but if the way out did exist, it was going to be too far away, they were just going to waste too much time, and if there really wasn’t one, then they were never going to do anything.

’Keres says he’s going to make a way out if he can’t find the way out, but how long is he going to wait, for how long is he going to search, since there isn’t anything to stop him, to confirm to him that it’s impossible? It all comes down to when he considers it’s time.

And what if he’s too late?

Why not start trying to find ways to get out now...’

He bit his lip, looking at all the other people around him.

The small fire inside him burned hotter than ever before... after all, he was making one of the most important decisions in his life.

...

He just didn’t see his role in this group anymore.

Really, he did nothing but follow Keres’ orders, failing over and over again, as he waited for the man to be right. It was nice for him, since he really didn’t do anything, and he could catch up with Sofia, spend time with his sister.

...

But was that worth it?

...

...

...

Aether searched for Sofia, who was having a talk with some of the other Readers. He didn’t bother to spy on them, since he knew that if he could just ask his sister about it... But at the same time, he really didn’t care at the moment; there were far more important things to do.

Seeing him, she smiled, ready to say hello, but before she could, Aether cut her off. "Can we... talk in private?"

Sofia’s smile faded slightly as she looked at him, as if she had already noticed something in his face. She didn’t ask why. She simply excused herself from the others and walked over to him.

"Lead the way," she said.

Aether nodded, walking away from the camp until the fires were nothing but small lights behind them.

...

He took a deep breath, not sure how to handle this situation. He had faced many monsters, been through excruciating pain, and many other horrible situations, and yet this was one of the hardest things for him to do.

They had just reunited, and they decided that the future was what mattered, being part of each other’s lives.

...

And here he was, about to tell her he was leaving.