Chapter 63: The Luxury of Mercy

Zishan expected his hands to start shaking after realizing what he had done, yet when he raised one again and gathered Fire Mana across his palm, his fingers remained steady.

That bothered him more than he wanted to admit.

His breathing was rough from running and repeatedly draining his Mana, and the uncomfortable pressure inside his head had returned despite the Mana Recovery Potions. Those were physical reactions he understood. He had pushed himself too hard, emptied his Mana reserves several times, and continued fighting before his body had fully recovered.

What he didn’t understand was why none of it seemed connected to the people dying in front of him.

Another group of enemy soldiers pushed through the burning section of the battlefield, forcing themselves around the bodies and injured Magic Beasts blocking their path. Zishan sent another Wildfire Requiem into their formation before they could regroup, and fresh Pyre Marks spread among them as the soldiers tried to separate.

He watched the flames take hold without feeling his hand tremble.

’Why am I this calm? I even felt thrilled earlier...’

He had never killed anyone on Earth.

Even after arriving in Cyrune, the closest he had come was Larper, and that bastard had survived. Zishan had smashed him in the head, stolen several of his beasts, insulted him enough times to make the Corporal want to murder him twice, and then handed him over alive.

This was different.

There were already people lying motionless across the battlefield because of him, while others burned inside a Skill he had cast with his own Mana.

A soldier stumbled away from one of the spreading Pyre Marks while clutching his side. "Little sister, please forgive me!"

Another man farther away had lost his weapon and was dragging himself across the ruined ground while flames spread behind him. "Mom! I know I’m not getting out of here alive! I’m so sorry!"

Someone grabbed the injured soldier by the back of his armor and tried to pull him upright. "Man up! You still have your wife at home waiting for you!"

The words reached Zishan through everything else happening around him.

For a few seconds, he wished they hadn’t.

Those weren’t the kinds of things Magic Beasts screamed before dying.

Zishan had always known that, yet hearing it was different from knowing it somewhere inside his head. These people had families. Some had probably enlisted because they needed money, because their parents expected it, because they believed in their kingdom, or because somebody stronger had ordered them here and refusing wasn’t really an option.

None of that changed the fact that they had marched toward Olmost carrying weapons.

It also didn’t make watching them die feel any better.

Another Pyre Mark detonated near the edge of the formation, and Zishan found himself wondering why his body still wasn’t reacting the way he thought it should.

’System.’

[Yes.]

Zishan tightened his grip around the empty potion bottle in his hand. ’Am I doing the right thing?’

The System did not answer at once.

His eyes remained on the battlefield as another group of Olmost soldiers met the enemy advance farther to his right.

’I was a medical student back on Earth. I was literally studying so I could help keep people alive, and now I’m standing here killing them like their lives mean nothing.’

His jaw tightened.

’Is there a way for me not to kill them?’

Several seconds passed before the response appeared.

[There is.]

Zishan’s eyes widened. ’There is?!’

[Become strong enough to defeat every hostile combatant without killing them, restrain every surviving enemy before they can resume fighting, prevent every Magic Beast under their control from attacking, and protect every allied combatant at the same time.]

His excitement was gradually dying.

’That’s your answer?’

[It is the answer to the Host’s question.]

Zishan stared at the words while the sounds of battle continued around him.

The System produced another message.

[War does not guarantee a choice without consequence.]

[If the Host refuses to kill an enemy who remains capable of killing others, the Host has not removed death from the battlefield.]

[The Host has only changed who may die.]

Zishan didn’t respond.

Another notification appeared.

[The Host’s discomfort does not make the Host weak.]

[It means the Host understands what is being taken.]

That answer stayed with him longer than he expected. Then, Elinox’s voice entered his thoughts.

’Zishan.’

He blinked and glanced toward the distant battle. ’What?’

’You’ve been standing there longer than I expected.’

Zishan looked down at the empty potion bottle still clenched in his hand. ’Just thinking.’

Elinox was silent for a moment before her voice returned through the connection. ’About the people you’ve killed?’

Zishan looked toward the burning section of the battlefield. ’Yeah.’

She didn’t answer right away, giving him enough time to wonder whether she was concentrating on the High General again.

’I don’t feel the way I thought I would,’ Zishan admitted. ’That’s what’s bothering me. I killed all those people, and I’m still standing here thinking normally. I can still fight. I can still use my Skills. Shouldn’t something be... wrong with me right now?’

Elinox’s response came several seconds later. ’Would trembling bring any of them back?’

Zishan frowned. ’That’s not what I mean.’

’I know.’ Another collision erupted in the distance before she continued, ’You are asking yourself whether being able to continue means their deaths meant nothing to you. It doesn’t.’

Zishan remained silent.

’Strength gives you choices, Zishan. The stronger you become, the more choices you can afford to make.’

’If you become strong enough to stop ten thousand soldiers without killing one of them, then spare all ten thousand. If you can break their weapons, restrain their Mages, disable their beasts, and still guarantee that nobody behind you dies because of that mercy, then do it.’

Zishan lowered his eyes.

’And if I can’t?’

There was no hesitation in her response.

’Then understand what your hesitation could cost before you decide.’

His fingers tightened around the potion bottle.

Elinox continued, ’The weak are often forced to accept choices made by stronger people. That is one of the ugliest truths about this world. If you hate that truth, becoming stronger gives you the chance to change which choices are possible.’

Zishan watched an Olmost Soldier block a spear that would have struck the man beside him. ’So if I want to spare people...’

’Become strong enough that sparing them does not require sacrificing someone else.’

For once, Zishan didn’t have an answer.

He didn’t suddenly feel better.

The bodies remained where they had fallen, and the screams he had heard did not disappear simply because somebody had explained war to him.

What changed was simpler.

He understood what he was choosing.

When another section of the enemy line pushed toward the Olmost soldiers, Zishan raised his hand again. He didn’t cast because the people in front of him had somehow become meaningless.

He cast because the people behind him weren’t meaningless either.