Chapter 130: Shadow space

Elias’s POV

"Elias, don’t. Please don’t" the omega in front of me pleads and I tilt my head to the side.

He has no idea how far gone I am. I’m in that quiet corner inside my head where I like to hide.

The place where the shadows wrap their tentacles around me and make me one of theirs.

It’s cold. It’s lonely. It’s safe.

"Take him back to the Goldsmith’s house. Keep him home. And keep Lucas at his door" I say the instructions without looking at my husband.

"ELIAS, NO!" Noah screams as he swings his arms in an effort to fight Kai off. He’s wasting his time. His struggle will have no impact on my younger brother.

I have work to do.

I grab Conan’s arm and pull him out of the room.

"ELIAS" Noah screams my name with more desperation.

"I will fucking put you in a strait jacket" I hear Kai hiss, and from the quietness of his tone, I know he’d do it. As long as Noah doesn’t get hurt, he can do whatever he wants. I don’t care.

"I’ll never forgive you if you hurt my mother, Elias. I will never forgive you!" he screams with raw pain and I shut the door.

"You’ll kill me...won’t you?" Conan asks and I ignore him.

In this state, I only speak when I want. And I only come out of it when someone is dead.

"Please, can you let me say goodbye to Noah? I won’t waste your time I promise" he says weakly, and I open the door to the Medical Director’s office.

She’s tied to her chair. Her makeup smudged, hair messy, and mouth stuffed with a gag. I know this woman.

My intention was to kill a corrupt mental health caretaker like I always do; I didn’t expect to meet my old enemy.

I throw Conan into the room, and he stumbles towards the wall.

"I’m going to kill her, and you’re going to watch" I inform the man and my victim starts to scream around the gag.

I pull out my gun and click off the safety.

"Do you remember me?" I ask and she starts to struggle, trying hard to free herself from the chair. "I remember you" I tell her and her tear-filled eyes widen.

"You used him to score a very good deal, didn’t you?" I point at Conan with my gun and he whimpers in fear.

"Please, let me say goodbye to my baby boy" Conan begs and I growl with irritation.

"Shut up" I warn him.

If he keeps claiming Noah in front of me while I’m in this state, I will be forced to put a bullet through his head.

"You are the woman who ’studied’ me...aren’t you?" I ask and she shakes her head.

First lie.

I tip my head backward and swallow. I walk to her slowly and rip the gag off her. The rope leaves a red welt on her skin, but it’s nothing compared to what she did to me.

I squat in front of her and tilt my head to calculate.

If she had also hurt my brothers back then, Damien would have killed her on the spot. If he had known she was the woman who hurt me...he would have dismembered her hours ago.

"My brothers didn’t get your special treatment, did they?" I ask her and she sobs loudly.

Agitated by her pathetic noises, I roughly push my gun in between her lips, making her eyes bulge as I press the weapon to the roof of her mouth.

"Words only" I snarl and she nods, shaking violently.

Satisfied by her newly found composure, I remove the gun from her mouth. "Talk" I order.

"Julian said he was going to pay me!" she screams and Conan gasps behind me. "Everything" I say.

"Tell me, everything" I tell her quietly.

"He wanted to kill two birds with one stone. He needed to break you psychologically and he wanted to be able to make Noah forget..." she chokes on her sobs.

Fuck.

She worked on both Noah and I?

"Is Goldsmith aware of everything you did?" I ask and she shakes her head. "I don’t know! I genuinely don’t know!" she cries out.

Isn’t it ironic that she’s using the word ’genuinely’ when she’s far from it?

Humans. Humans are not to be trusted. Humans can be beasts with prestigious titles and pressed suits.

There’s an award sitting on the shelf above our heads: the country’s best psychiatrist.

"Was the money worth it?" I ask and she shakes her head. "Please. I’m a mom, my son is about to graduate from college" she sobs.

"Does he know you carry out unethical practices on teenagers?" I ask, leaning forward so we’re face to face.

I can see the tear track. I can see the smoothness of her skin. I can see the dilated capillaries in her eyes.

"Does he know you treated a thirteen-year-old like a lab rat because he was hard to psychoanalyze?" I ask.

"I’ll pay you back" she says and I choose to ignore those words.

"Who else was involved in what you did to me?"

"Just Julian’s team and I" she confesses. Snot slides down her face and over her mouth as she cries harder. Julian planned all these out carefully without thinking of the fact that I might survive or fall in love with Noah.

Fall in love with Noah? I’m in love with Noah?

It can’t be. I don’t know how to love. That space belongs only to my mom and no one else.

"And for Noah? How many people worked on him" I ask, pushing aside the unwanted epiphany bouncing around in my head.

"I..."

"Lie. I dare you to lie" I say, putting my gun down and pressing it into her thigh.

If she pisses me off, I will shoot each of her limbs. I will wait for the pain to end. Then I will shoot different body parts and make her bleed to death.

"I, a few of the temple leaders, the city’s council...we wanted to give him a chance at normal life without the trauma of being abandoned in the forest by his most loved person" the woman says in defense.

"I was protecting Noah from people like you" Conan yells from behind me, but he doesn’t attack.

"He would have been married to Roman by now, he would have been the omega of a rich man!" she argues back and I pull the trigger.

Her warm blood splatters to my face, and the bloodcurdling scream the woman lets out is satisfying.

’Perfect’ my alpha growls.

"Arghh! Help me" she screams, gasping for air as I pull the gun away from her leg.

"Freya was in the process of selling Noah to Governor Stiles, did you know?" I ask and she shakes her head, screaming in pain.

"The Governor wanted us to groom him for Roman, not his father. She betrayed us!"

The web of disgusting acts in this city is suffocatingly thick. I want to set the whole place on fire and watch it all burn to the floor.

"Apologize to Conan" I say quietly.

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry" the psychiatrist, who poked and prodded my brain for days on end, sobs and I press the gun to her temple.

"Apologize to Noah" I tell her and she starts to hyperventilate.

"He’s n-not here" she says and I smile coldly. "Visit him in his dream" I say and pull the trigger.

The bullet goes through her head and comes out the other side. I stare into her eyes as life drains from her. This is my favorite part as Death.

I watch and count down the seconds with her. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Out.

She dies with her eyes open and mouth agape.

I straighten and turn to look at Conan. The man is plastered to the wall, panting and crying even though I didn’t touch him. For Noah’s sake, I won’t touch him.

I walk to him and smear the blood on my gun to his face.

"Hurt Noah in any way...and I won’t hesitate to snuff you out like a candle" I tell him and leave the room.

I hear him vomiting violently as I come out of that space in my head.

I’m back to myself, and now, I need my husband.

I need my cherry blossom boy who is full of life and the promise of something new.

I need Noah.