Chapter 75: Walk of Shame

Kamiko looks like she might genuinely cry.

Serenith just smiles at her, entirely, unbearably proud of herself, and vanishes in a flash of light before either of them can get another word in.

Kamiko turns to Lucien, distraught, arms wrapped tight around herself against the morning chill and the general indignity of the situation.

"I feel terrible," she says. "Getting scolded by a literal angel. I run a business empire across five separate villages, Lucien, and I’ve just been made to stand naked in a field like a naughty toddler."

Lucien, smirking, already thoroughly recovered from his own near-death performance, steps in close and wraps both arms around her.

"She’ll get over it," he says. "If anything, this is a sign she respects you as an equal. She could’ve smited us both on the spot. Instead she’s just doing to us what we did to her." A shrug, entirely too pleased with the logic of it. "It’s a prank war now. You don’t start a prank war with someone you hate."

"That actually makes sense, in some strange way I don’t fully understand." Kamiko chuckles despite herself, some of the tension easing out of her.

Then she feels something rather insistent rubbing against her thigh, and glances down, biting her lip as Lucien announces his intentions physically.

"You cannot possibly be thinking of that right now. What if Serenith’s watching?"

A flash of light erupts between them without warning, blasting both of them apart in opposite directions and dropping them hard into the grass several feet away from each other.

Lucien sits up, spitting dirt and torn grass out of his mouth.

"That probably answers that question."

Kamiko pushes herself upright too, fur completely frazzled now, hair a wild tangle, a mouthful of grass she spits out with real disgust, and looks up just in time to catch Serenith glaring down at her from somewhere overhead.

A look that could curdle wyvern milk.

Serenith points two fingers sharply at her own eyes, then back at Kamiko.

Kamiko squeals and nods rapidly, scrambling to sit up straighter.

Lucien bursts out laughing.

Serenith vanishes again without a word, apparently satisfied.

Lucien climbs to his feet, stretches, bounces once on the spot, and turns to Kamiko with a bright, entirely unbothered smile. "It’s not so bad, honestly. Just need a little confidence and cardio."

He starts jogging lightly in place, gesturing for her to join him.

Kamiko shakes grass out of her hair, glaring. "I have never, in my entire life, been subjected to this kind of treatment."

"That’s what you get for pranking an angel."

"Remind me never to do that again." Kamiko says as she spits the last of the dirt from her mouth.

"What do you mean?" Lucien replies, already breaking into an easy jog down the hillside. "We’re only just getting started. We have to get her back for this. The war has only begun."

He jogs off ahead of her, whistling while Kamiko mutters to herself, asking the universe at large what exactly she thought she was getting herself into, and begrudgingly hauls herself upright to jog after him.

Four hours later, the sun considerably higher and considerably hotter now than either of them would like, Lucien and Kamiko finally approach the bunny village gate, its fence posts and thatched roofs a genuinely welcome sight after a morning spent entirely at the mercy of unfamiliar terrain, loose gravel, and one particular patch of nettles that would haunt Kamiko’s dreams.

Lucien is still smiling, still full of energy, jogging lightly in place while gesturing impatiently for her to hurry up the last stretch. Kamiko, meanwhile, is fighting for her life.

She’s heaving for breath, legs wobbling with every step, fur and hair an absolute matted disaster of grass and dried mud, a thorn still lodged somewhere in the arch of one bare foot that she’s long since stopped having the energy to complain about. She reaches the gate and hangs off it for a long moment, gathering what’s left of her strength, and what little dignity she has left.

"You can wait here," Lucien offers generously. "I’ll go find you some clothes and water."

Serenith appears at that exact moment, settling herself leisurely onto the top rail of the gate.

"How was the walk?"

Kamiko turns to her, plastering on the most obviously fake smile she can manage. "Lovely."

"You look like you might be struggling a bit. I could lend a hand, if you’d like." Serenith says while clearly biting back a laugh.

Kamiko straightens off the gate at once, sweeping her ruined hair back with as much composure as she can salvage, chin lifting several inches.

"I am perfectly fine." she offers. "I am the owner and operator of the greatest brothel service in the entire tribelands. I have survived considerably worse than a particularly long walk."

She flicks her head away from Serenith with a small, dignified scoff, throws the gates open herself, and strides through them.

Every bunny-kin inside the walls turns at once to stare at her in open, baffled confusion, a woman known village-wide for her impeccable silk gowns now marching past their homes naked, streaked in mud with grass still tangled in one ear, chin held as high as if she were parading in her finest silks instead.

Lucien walks in behind her, entirely unbothered, and the reaction shifts instantly. Wide eyes, knowing smiles, murmured commentary rippling through the gathered crowd, a few agreeable nods and even a scattered wave or two as the pair make their way through the village like this is simply how business trips are conducted where they’re from.

The chieftess spots them from her porch and shakes her head, wistful. "They certainly know how to enjoy a fine morning." She turns to Brina, still perched beside her. "You don’t know what you’re missing out on, dear."

Brina turns to see exactly what her mother means, spots the fully naked Kamiko and Lucien strolling casually past, and goes scarlet from the tips of her ears down.

Kamiko catches sight of her and calls out cheerfully, "Brina, darling, could you prepare the hot spring, please?" she pouts and gestures to all of her, "I’ve had a rather eventful morning, and would very much like a proper bath."

Serenith’s eyes go wide at the mention of a spring.

She floats down beside Kamiko, looking suddenly, uncharacteristically repentant. "I might have reacted a bit strongly back there," she says. "I’m sorry. Truly."

Kamiko fixes her with a flat, entirely unimpressed look. "It’s fine." she says eventually, then sighs, some of the fight draining out of her. "I probably deserved it. A little."

"I do want to be friends. I genuinely like you, Kamiko." Serenith smiles, relieved.

Kamiko smiles warmly back. "You just want permission to the hot spring."

"No," Serenith says, quick and immediate, then hesitates. "I mean, I do consider you a friend, honestly, I do. But also, yes, I would love to bathe in a hot spring right now."

"That sounds lovely." Lucien agrees, stepping neatly between them both, grinning. "A nice, purely platonic, relaxing dip with my two favorite ladies."

Both women turn identical, unimpressed looks on him at once.

"Girls only!" Serenith says flatly.

Lucien pouts, protesting. "I only want to spend some quality time with you both, we can wash each other’s backs..."

He keeps talking right up until the two of them simply turn and walk off together, already deep in their own murmured conversation, entirely done listening to him.

He sighs, thoroughly dejected, and turns back toward the house. Only to find himself, once again, the sole center of attention for every single bunny-kin in the village, all of them still very much staring, and him still very much naked.

He grabs the nearest basket off a porch rail to preserve what little modesty remains available to him, and strolls off with as much leisurely dignity as the situation allows.