Chapter 193: Himawari [1]

Himawari avoided him for an whole day.

Kael did not go looking for her. He stayed inside his apartment, trained lightly on the small open stretch of floor, cooked simple meals and other basic things. If she wanted space, she could have it. Chasing her would only make the confusion worse.

Night had settled fully over the village when the knock finally came—soft, hesitant, almost too quiet to hear. Kael opened the door. Himawari stood in the hallway wearing a plain dark jacket over her usual clothes, hands clasped in front of her, eyes fixed somewhere near his collarbone.

"Can I come in?" she asked. "I want to talk about something."

He stepped aside. She slipped past him and stopped in the middle of the room as if she had used up all her courage just getting through the door. Kael closed it quietly and waited.

"I’m sorry," she said at last. The words came out in a rush. "For yesterday. On the roof. I shouldn’t have... I don’t know why I did that. It was wrong and I panicked and ran and I’m sorry."

"I didn’t mind," Kael answered. His voice stayed even. "You don’t have to apologize for a kiss if you meant it in the moment. If you want to tell me anything else, you can. Or you don’t have to. Either is fine."

Himawari’s shoulders loosened a fraction. She glanced at the low bed against the wall, then at the floor, then finally at him.

"I’ve been feeling things I don’t understand," she said carefully. "Since I got here. Around you. It’s like... there’s this pull, and I keep telling myself it doesn’t make sense, but it doesn’t go away. I thought if I stayed away for a day it would settle. It didn’t."

Kael nodded once. He did not push for the parts she was clearly leaving out. Instead he gestured toward the bed. "Sit. Talking standing up makes everything feel heavier."

She sat on the edge of the mattress. After a moment he sat beside her, close enough that their shoulders almost touched but not quite. The lamp in the corner threw a warm circle of light across the room. Outside, the village had gone quiet.

They talked in low voices. She asked what he had done all day; he told her about burning rice and having to start over. She admitted she had walked past his building twice before working up the nerve to knock. A small, embarrassed smile tugged at her mouth when he said he had left the window open on purpose in case she decided to come through there instead. The conversation drifted, light in places, heavy in others, always circling back to the same unspoken tension.

At some point she shifted closer. Their knees touched. Neither moved away. Himawari stared at her own hands folded in her lap.

"I keep replaying it," she whispered. "The kiss. Part of me still thinks it was a mistake. And I don’t know what is right."

Kael turned his head to look at her. "You don’t have to decide everything tonight. I know it’s hard for you to say everything just take a breath and relax."

She met his eyes. Something uncertain and determined moved behind them at the same time. Then she leaned in and kissed him.

This one was slower. Less panicked. Her lips pressed against his with careful pressure, as if she were testing whether the feeling from the roof would return. It did. Kael kissed her back gently, giving her room to pull away if she needed it. She didn’t. Her hand came up and rested lightly against his chest. The kiss deepened by degrees—hers first, then his answering, mouths opening, breath mixing.

When they finally parted she stayed close, forehead nearly touching his.

"I still don’t understand why I want this," she said, voice unsteady. "But stopping feels worse."

Kael brushed a strand of blue-tinted hair behind her ear. "We can slow down. Or stop. Your call."

Himawari answered by kissing him again. They eased farther onto the bed without really deciding to. She ended up on her back against the pillows; he braced himself above her on one forearm, still fully clothed, careful not to pin her. The kissing turned deeper, hungrier. Soft sounds escaped her whenever their mouths separated for breath—small, surprised noises she seemed embarrassed by but could not hold back.

His hand rested at her waist over the fabric of her shirt. When he slid it higher, palm settling over the soft curve of her breast through clothes, she tensed for half a second. Then a shaky exhale left her and she arched into the touch instead of away. Kael kept the pressure light, thumb stroking slowly across the fabric. Himawari’s fingers curled in the front of his shirt. Her hips shifted restlessly beneath him.

"No—please don’t do this," she whispered suddenly when his fingers brushed the hem of her top, clearly meaning the removal of clothes. "This is going to far."

Kael immediately stilled his hand and nodded. "Okay."

Relief and frustration mixed in her expression. She pulled him back down into another kiss, more urgent this time. His hand returned to her breast over the shirt, squeezing gently, learning the shape of her through the layers. Himawari made a soft, needy sound into his mouth. Her own hands mapped his shoulders and back, still over fabric, as if she needed the contact but was afraid of crossing some invisible line too quickly.

They stayed like that for a long time—kissing, touching through clothes, bodies pressed together on the narrow bed. Every time Kael checked her face she looked overwhelmed and wanting at once. The confusion never fully left her eyes. Somewhere in the middle of it she breathed, "This is so strange... why does it feel like I need this?" but she did not stop moving against him.

When the friction and the tension finally peaked, it happened with both of them still fully dressed. Himawari’s breath hitched sharply; her fingers dug into his back; a broken little cry muffled itself against his neck. Kael followed a moment later, forehead pressed to her shoulder, the release more emotional than purely physical after everything that had built between them.

In the quiet afterward he rolled to the side so he wouldn’t crush her, keeping one arm loosely around her waist. Himawari stared at the ceiling, chest rising and falling fast, eyes shining with too many feelings at once.

A faint system notification flickered at the edge of Kael’s vision and then faded without demanding attention. He ignored it.

Himawari turned her head on the pillow to look at him. Her voice was small.

"I still don’t know if this was right. I’m doing something so bad if you know the truth you will hate me later."

Kael brushed his thumb across the back of her hand. "We don’t have to know the truth tonight."

She nodded slowly, then shifted closer until her forehead rested against his shoulder. Neither of them spoke for a while. The lamp kept burning.

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This Chapter was boring to write well had to for the "story development".

Give me power...