Chapter 261 - Just Talking - II
"But wait I do not understand that," Adeline held up a finger, "that is something a therapist can do. Therapists are literally all of the capital and I could have chosen anyone so why did I have to come here in freezing temperatures to talk to you about the same thing they were going to talk to me about?"
"Why did you?" She threw back at Adeline. " You could have gone there but you choose to come here willingly when you could have put up a fight on the plane or even at the cabin you are staying in."
Adeline felt her throat dry up. "If I forgot about coming here, would that have made the situation better?"
Gemmika smiled, "what would have made the situation better? Why don't you tell me if I put it in your hands?"
When she mentioned Adeline's hands, Adeline glanced down at her hands. What was in her hands?
"Words please,"
Adeline's mouth opened on its own and the words flew out, "I don't know why you say that because nothing has been in my hands since day one. I did not know if I fell in love with Xavier or that was the bond talking. I did not know who I was getting myself with or who he was to be honest. Then the whole Vampire situation comes in, then the wolf in front of me and-and all of that, I have had nothing in my hand."
"But what if you did,"
" I don't know. ." Adeline spoke up through a congested nose. She was about to cry.
Gemmika shook her head. "You know what you want to say but you are not saying it in front of me. Tell me if you had a chance to go back will you even allow yourself to fall in love with Xavier?"
She would have. "We have a beautiful time together and I really cherished it but I. . . Don't think so that I can go forward and. . ."
"Live again when he pushes you away?" Gemmika tilted her head, "he has done this before many times, has he not?"
Adeline gulped. She wanted to get defensive of it. The defence was literally bubbling up inside her but she wanted to throw Xavier under the bus. "I don't know he has been Vague for my efforts. Months ago when I wanted to do it he was standing there and looking at me like I was stupid to approach him."
"You want to defend him but you are not doing that why?"
Adeline's head snapped up. How did she come to know about what was going on inside her mind? " Can you read my mind?" Adeline said as she pointed to her forehead.
Gemmika Chuckled and shook her head. "Just Aura." She answered.
As the silence blanketed them once again Adeline realised that the lady was waiting for her answer. "I want to throw him under the bus."
"Bus—oh the expression," Gemmika nodded to herself. "That is understandable. You have a lot of negative energy around you. I believe that all is coming from the revenge you have in your mind. Or is it a lack of trust?"
"Trust, I don't know anything about trust," Adeline shook her head. " There has never been a chance where he has not taken care of me so not going to say that I don't trust him enough but. ." She tsked under breath.
Adelen was more confused on what path she was going to work on now. With the small amount of time that she had spent with him it had all been just so difficult for her to deal with. He cared for her but when he became slightly distanced she could not take it and she hated every bit of it.
"I don't know what I want anymore," she admitted without any shame. She had no direction.
Gemmika nodded and stayed silent for a minute or two before she started to speak again, "did you have a change of heart while you were in the cabin?"
Adeline shrugged. Maybe, it was there. "I'm not sure where they came from. But I know that I wanted Revenge from him so badly because I had tried so much and he pushed me away constantly."
Gemmika closed her eyes. "What do you say when you close your eyes?"
Without having the woman elaborate the question, Adaline actually knew what she was talking about. " Nothing." Adeline told her honestly.
During her small depression of three months Adaline had tried to see past many things but she had ended up staying herself as a stable person. The only problem with being stabilized was that she did not see herself holding someone's hands or standing beside someone.
Gemmika opened her eyes. "Nothing? That is alright."
"Really?" For a moment, Adeline blinked back in shock. She was not imagining Gemmika to say that it was okay.
"Yes, you are not to want to say that I am sorry to say it your problems are not much in comparison to others. If I have to say it out loud and here it is, you are holding back too much adaline and that is not working out in any of your favour." Gemmika leaned in, "you're not very ready to move on, you are not very to forgive and forget which is only making you stand in a place where you cannot move at all."
"Forgive and forget does not even happen in this situation!" Adelen found herself shrieking before calming herself, "everything that has gone wrong with people has come to her back me and how do you. . . How do I move forward?"
Gemmika had a rhetorical question, "Do you like the way you are standing now? Is it peaceful enough?"
"No ," Adeline shook her head. " But with the amount of things that happened and the amount of pain that I have gone through, it's rather foolish to overlook that."
Gemmika nodded and something happened to twinkle in her eyes.