Chapter 761 - Guilt
Kay had an inkling that Joseph felt his father wasn't grieving, or that his father was too cold since he didn't show any emotion. What Joseph was unaware, however, was that he felt too much and he didn't want to 'break down' in front of his kids.
Kay sighed as she observed them and remembered what Kyle had said about Stephan.
She wondered how he had ever stayed with such a man. Then again, she stayed because of the kids - and it wasn't like Stephan was a bad man. Just … unfeeling?
No, that was not it.
He was the type that didn't show his emotions openly and always wanted to conform to society's standards.
When Kay was younger and learned more about Country M, she wondered how Kyle could be so open-minded and liberal about his sexuality when he was a woman from Country M. From the stories he used to tell her, Kay could tell how sheltered he had been and how he had to always be the 'right' type of girl.
And learning more about Stephan made Kay even more curious. Stephan was such a traditional male of Country M, who had to be the 'right' type of man and husband. Kyle must have been really stifled then when Kay considered how he's like in this life.
It was as if he went to the other extreme. Not only was his best friend living with his brother, but Kyle had also been having sexual encounters with those of the same gender - and now, quite open about pre-marital sex.
Kay shook her head and studied the kids again.
"I can't say that I understand what you're going through," Kay began hesitatingly, "Because I'm still blessed with my complete family. I can only imagine it, but it would never be the same."
They turned to look at her, and she continued, "I hope, by making the dishes she used to make for you, it would ease the pain a bit. But if it makes you feel worse, just let me know and I won't do it."
She looked at them seriously and said gently, "In fact, if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, or uneasy, just tell me. If you can't say it, texting is fine. Is that okay?"
Lianne nodded, gave a small smile and thanked her.
Joseph didn't say anything yet, until, finally, "It's warm."
Kay blinked.
Warm?
Seeing the confusion in her eyes, Joseph didn't explain but merely smiled softly, looked down back at his empty bowl. He took another serving of stew and rice, then continued eating.
"Warm," he repeated softly, blinking back tears.
After that, lunch was eaten in silence.
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It was yet another normal day.
Stephan had breakfast with the kids. Then, he went to work. Kay came over while Kyle and Sayuri were jogging. Sometimes, they would drop by just before lunch, sometimes, after lunch (if they had work to do).
Today, Kyle said that he would be coming in later in the morning as he had a surprise for the kids.
Kay was in the living room, alone, while Lianne and Joseph were in their respective bedrooms. She didn't bother them, nor insisted that they come out. So long as they knew she was there if they needed her, it was enough.
Strangely enough, though, today, Joseph did come out of his room.
Usually, he would be holed up in there until the smell of Kay's cooking got him out. He would sit at the kitchen table, playing his mobile game while she cooked. He never really said anything, though, so Kay figured that he simply wanted the familiarity of the scene.
This time, he actually came out before lunchtime?
Kay looked up at him and smiled, which he responded with a brief smile in a return greeting before he slumped on the sofa. He was then engrossed in a game, ignoring her completely. He had his earphones on, so Kay couldn't hear what was happening, but she could see the myriad of emotions on his face.
He didn't curse out loud, but he certainly mouthed them.
Joseph wouldn't know that Kay could read lips and her eyebrows shot up at the number of profanities that he spouted as he aggressively moved his phone about. Obviously, the game wasn't going well for him.
She didn't say a word but simply observe him and found him to be utterly cute.
The way his face scrunched up in anger and frustration, shouting silently at his useless teammates that caused multiple deaths.
'Oh come on, seriously? The car is fucking right there, you arsehole. What?! Fuck you. You just left me here?! I can't believe it. If I could headshot you right now, you'd be so dead!'
Kay giggled silently to herself and waited patiently for him to finish one game before she asked him, "Can I play with you?"
"Have you played before?" Joseph asked curiously, startled out of his thoughts - and getting out of 'the zone' after a game.
"No, but you can teach me, right?"
Joseph shrugged, nonplussed.
He didn't mind, really. He already had one stupid game down, so what's wrong with having another game? He was good enough to be able to carry her, so he complied with her wishes.
Joseph came over and showed her the game, his body leaning closer to her.
Kay came closer to look, her hair brushing against him slightly as she did so. Joseph froze for a second, catching the scent of jasmine, and he gulped. It was at that moment that he suddenly realised that he was very close to Kay.
Kay was engrossed in finding the game in her app store, and thus, didn't notice the slight narrowing of Joseph's eyes. Once she found the game and started downloading it, Joseph immediately headed back to the sofa.
His mind was reeling and he was feeling very confused.
And guilty.