New Life : A Second Chance

Sayuri cried then, and the intense sadness she was exhibiting made Kyle so angry and agitated that he got up. He started walking away and pacing the room.

He wasn't angry at her.

He was angry at himself.

Every single word that she said pierced him deeply, especially the last sentence. She was right. He could not demand this of her, for it was too much. The pregnancy was unexpected, but it wasn't unwanted.

He should not ruin her life just because of it.

He understood her completely. 

How could he not, when his own marriage was like an empty shell as well. No conflicts, nothing but no love. It hurt. It would probably be worse for Sayuri, for he could fuck her, but not love her. How does it feel, each time they did it, she knew that he only wanted her body but could never give her his heart?

That was horrible.

She deserved someone who could love her and treat her properly as a wife. 

Not him.

He, who could not love at all. If he could, wouldn't he have fallen for her already?

Why couldn't he?

He was so frustrated at himself that he punched the wall. The pain felt good even though the pain in his heart was far more than the one on his hand. Still, he did it again. The sound reverted in the room and there was a small hiccup behind him, bringing him back to his senses.

He turned, to see the tear-stained face of Sayuri, staring at him with sadness.

Intense regret filled him immediately.

He rushed over and kneeled down, truly contrite as he looked up at her. He wiped her tears, running his thumbs under her eyes and then sighed deeply.

"I'm sorry," he said softly and gently, taking her hand and laying his forehead on it, "I'm so sorry. You're right. I'm being selfish."

Then he looked up at her again, "But please, at least … at least until you find someone, stay with me? Let me take care of you and of our baby. Let me be by your side as our baby grows up. I will explain things to him, or her, about us. That no matter what, he is loved by us both."

"I'll … I'll slowly distance myself as he grows older so that he gets used to it," Kyle said softly, "You go on dates, see people and I'll fully support it and how it to him. Let him get used to seeing that and accepting that. So that .. that when .. when you eventually marry, he will have the best of both worlds."

"A complete family that loves him," Kyle continued despite how his heart was twisted in pain as he said it, "And a biological father that will always be there for him."

"Stay with you?" Sayuri asked.

"Live together," Kyle clarified, "Co-habitate like roommates."

"What will people think?" 

"Who gives a damn what other people think?" Kyle hissed, "As long as you agree to live with me, I'll make sure any unsavory remarks about you will die."

Luckily, Country Tz isn't like Country M, where living together would have been a stain on Sayuri's reputation if he didn't marry her. The fact that she's pregnant would have made it worse.

Here, however, people were of a different view as most couples live together before marriage.

Thus, their living arrangements would simply make other people think that they were a couple, living together with the intention of getting married eventually.

"I will protect you, and our baby," Kyle said earnestly, "Please, let me do this for you."

Sayuri looked at Kyle, begging, and her resolve wavered. She had told herself that once she got confirmation of his feelings - or lack of it - she would be firm. Go if it's a no, stay if it's a yes.

She knew very well, that if she stayed right now, she would be the one who would regret it in the end. She had already stepped into the pit of heartbreak when they entered the bed partners' agreement, but this?

This would be diving straight in.

Would her heart be able to take it?

But seeing him like this … 

Sayuri found herself agreeing before she could stop herself, "Okay."

Kyle's face lit up so brightly that Sayuri suddenly felt that it wasn't a bad decision after all.

Then she scolded herself for being so weak.

Right after that, she wanted to cry for being so weak.

Then she felt angry for wanting to cry.

Damn these mood swings were a killer.

Then she started smiling.

Well, if Kyle wanted to take care of her, then he should. She was going to milk it for all its worth, considering what his baby was doing to her right now.

"But there are conditions," Sayuri continued without missing a beat.

"Anything," Kyle said eagerly, glad that she agreed to his insane request.

"No sex. Separate bedrooms. I can date, but you can't," Sayuri stated, "You can't be with anyone else until I remarry, or when our child is old enough to understand."

Sayuri wanted their child to know that it was not his fault that his useless father wouldn't stay. He was loved, but his stupid father couldn't love his mother in return. 

Kyle, unaware of Sayuri's thoughts, nodded. He felt it was reasonable. Mr. Right-Hand just had to work harder during those times he got horny.

"I have full rights to stake my claim on you and get rid of any flies flying about," Sayuri said, "I don't like seeing women around you. It aggravates me."

Sayuri knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. Being with him was hard enough. Being with him while he had girls around him? Fat chance. Why should she be subjected to such torture?

Kyle, on the other hand, felt that there was nothing wrong with it. 

He didn't like those flies anyway.

"Swat away," Kyle said.

"Good," Sayuri said, satisfied.