New Life : A Second Chance

Sayuri stared at the two red lines, then threw that pregnancy test kit away into the dustbin beside her. Reaching into her bag, she took out another one.

After a few minutes, the same result came out.

Sayuri clutched the kit and sighed, then threw it into the dustbin.

Taking several deep breaths, she washed up and flushed the toilet. 

She stood there, looking as the water swirled and disappear before the toilet bowl was refilled again. She looked at the dustbin beside it, now filled with nine discarded pregnancy test kits, all with those glaring red lines staring at her.

She sat down on the floor, looking at the nine discarded pregnancy test kits again and sighed deeply. 

Then, she looked at her still flat stomach and knew, it wouldn't be long before a slight bump would appear.

It had been nearly three months since they returned, so it was a miracle in itself that she wasn't showing yet. She is either in the last stages of her first trimester, or already in the second trimester.

Too late for an abortion.

Not that she was ever thinking of getting one.

She gingerly touched her stomach.

Inside, was a life.

She would need to see the doctor soon and get a check-up.

This was so unexpected, though in hindsight, it shouldn't have been.

Although the pill was the most effective contraceptive method, it wasn't perfect. Even with correct use, it was only effective 99.7% - which meant that there was 1 woman in 100 that would get pregnant in a year.

She just happened to be that 'one' woman.

Stroking her stomach, there was a smile on Sayuri's face. 

"You really wanted to come into this world, huh?" she whispered. She could already imagine the life inside of her.

Hers and Kyle's.

Her heart swelled with intense love at the thought of this little miracle within her. He, or she, was truly a miracle.

With her condition, it was already hard enough to get pregnant. Added to that, she was on the pill.

Yet, against all odds, she is.

She wondered when the baby had been conceived. 

She had never missed a day in taking the pill, although, perhaps, there had been times that the timing she had taken it may not have been within the 3-hour window. 

One was supposed to take the pill at exactly the same time. However, with the amount of traveling that she did, the timing may not have been accurate. 

Whatever the reason, the point is, she is pregnant.

How was she going to tell her Uncle and Grandfather?

The last thing she wanted was to have them go into a hissy-fit and insist on Kyle marrying her. She didn't want that. 

She also knew that Kyle would probably marry her out of a sense of duty or honour, because of the baby. She didn't want that either.

She wanted Kyle to actually want to marry her, because of her, and not because of the baby.

Perhaps she was being foolish.

Why not have him with her, no matter what the reason?

After all, she was in love with him and he was not adverse to her. He treated her well and she knew, he would continue to treat her well if they got married.

There were so many arranged marriages as well that turned out well. And they hadn't even known each other prior to marriage. Just look at Ali.

He had been willing to, even though he hadn't known it was Sofia.

So why, why was she so hesitant? Why did she not want him in this manner?

Why is she so stupid?!

Sayuri started crying.

The tears fell down her cheeks and onto her chest, and once she started, she couldn't stop. She sat down on the bathroom floor, bringing her knees up to her chest, wrapped her hands around her legs and buried her face.

She didn't know how long she sat there, crying, but when she finally stopped, she felt much better.

Her heart was still in turmoil but at least, she was calm now.

She cursed herself for being so weak and emotional.

It all began when they had returned. She was missing Kyle so much that she found herself moody and irritable. She would be happy one minute, cranky the next and then, feel like crying.

Yet, she didn't want to call him or contact him because she wanted him to be the one who did so.

When he didn't, she cursed him. After a while, it became an ego thing because she didn't want to be the weak one and lose.

Now, she was tired of all of that.

She sniffed, stood up and wiped her face. 

What Sayuri was unaware of, was that her mood swings were actually due to her being pregnant. Whilst she didn't have the usual morning sickness most women have, she did have the mood swings.

The flood of hormones in her body can cause one to be unusually emotional and weepy, and this is during the early stages of pregnancy - and the last. Thus, whatever she felt, was actually amplified and she was more sensitive.

Sayuri went to the sink and washed her face. She looked at her reflection and made a promise to herself.

She needed to be strong.

She needed a new plan.

Her 'two-year' deadline (though, in reality, it is now one and a half years) has gone askew. Well, you know what they say.

'Man proposes, but God disposes' 

So, what now?

They didn't have to get married just because they were having a baby together, right?

He could still be a part of the baby's life.

He didn't have to be a part of hers. 

Though she wanted to so so badly.

She really did.

But not this way.

Sayuri felt her eyes get hot again but she refused to cry. 

She placed her hand on her stomach again and whispered, "We will be fine."