New Life : A Second Chance

Patrick's thoughts came back to the present. He remembered the heartache he felt when he had caught his wife tenderly looking through those letters that their son had been sending her. He was angry at Kyle as well, for putting his mother through this.

Was his pride so big that he was willing to make his own mother suffer like this?

Patrick sighed deeply. 

He wondered whether their family would ever be whole again. He didn't doubt Kyle would return, but what he was worried about was ... what would he be like? What would his relationship be like with his own son?

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Whilst Patrick in Country M was reminiscing about his past, Kyle was, too.

His past life.

He was trying hard to truly understand himself right now.

He sat in his room, pondering about what he had been doing so far and what he needed to do. The connections he had in this life, and the ones that he had in the past.

Kyle truly could understand what his current mother was going through, which was why he tried to appease her via the letters. 

It was not the same though, he knew.

No matter what, she would obviously be hurt and missing him. That part made him feel guilty but whenever he thought about his father, Patrick … the agitation he felt washed away the guilt.

Was he always destined to have this sort of strained relationship with his parents?

In his past life, he wasn't close to his mother - to the point that he had even wondered if he would ever mourn for her when she passed on. 

When he became a parent, he was extremely close to his own kids … but ended up passing on before he could raise them longer.

In this life, he has a strained relationship with his father - if any, at all.

Was this is destiny?

Would he ever be able to have some sort of good relationship with his parent, or as a parent?

It hurt.

He had once made the decision that when it came to choosing between his parents, and his children, he would choose his children's well-being over anything - and everything - else. This carried on to this life.

Though he was choosing his past life children over his present life parents.

Of course, that meant that he was unfilial.

Kyle sighed, and leaned back on his chair. 

How wonderful it would be if he could have the sort of family that would have the best of both worlds. Where all three generations could gather together in one, big, happy family without the parent (him) being torn between the two.

Kyle wondered if this was something that only he was going through, but he doubted it. It was just that those that were around him, didn't seem to have that problem.

When he first got married, it had been quite tumulous.

All due to his own mother.

Upon marriage, it wasn't 'losing a daughter, but gaining a son'. 

Which sounds all good and nice … until you realise that she truly meant 'she had gained a son' in the sense that she could treat him as such. 

Sounds good?

Not so, when she expected her new son to be just like how she raised her own kids. Filial (not: be obedient and obey without question). Take her thoughts and opinions into account (note: take priority). Always be respectful (note: ask permission when going out, doing things, making decisions).

For a man, that sort of 'caring' attitude was not something that could be accepted easily. More so when he had been independent and working as an adult before marriage. Suddenly, after marriage, not only was he NOT the head of the household (mother had the last say) but he was relegated to a 'subordinate'?

When Kyle thought about it, it was only natural that her spouse would have been disgruntled and extremely unhappy. 

Yet, she was caught in the middle.

She, who had been raised as such, accepted her mother's behaviour to be normal. It had been the start of countless arguments that were eventually settled by her moving out of the house.

Yes, she lived with her parents right after marriage because her spouse wasn't a local and they had difficulty purchasing their own home. 

It would not only save money, but also let them take care of the parents who were getting by in their years.

It was a mistake.

A huge mistake.

Perhaps it may have worked for a family who's parent was not the dictatorship type. Kyle's mother never saw that she had done anything wrong, and in fact, felt wronged.

How could he refuse to follow them to attend a wedding? Why didn't he come home early enough to have dinner with them? Why didn't he drive her to where she needed to be?

All the nagging …

Kyle shuddered.

Just how did his spouse stand that all this while?

For him, just this one thing and he blew up, ran away from home and is hiding in another country.

His respect for his spouse grew even more.

He wasn't in love with his spouse any more though. It would be impossible for him to get back together with his spouse in his current form. His spouse was straight, and would never be able to accept a man as his partner.

Kyle wondered just who was 'The One' out there for him now.

He was still quite romantic. He believed that there is 'The One' for each person. However, whether you meet that person is another matter - and whether you actually end up with 'The One' is also not certain.

His spouse actually had not been his 'The One'. He did love him, and was comfortable with him, but it the 'I'll die for you' type of love. Kyle felt that 'The One' was like that. 

Was Sari truly 'The One' for him in this life?