New Life : A Second Chance

Sarah put her hand over her mouth, after her brain caught up with what she had said.

What did she ... how could she have ...

She reached out to Kay, putting her hands on Kay desperately, "I'm so sorry Kay. No, I didn't mean that."

Kay patted her hands, then looked at the field. Sarah was feeling relieved until she heard Kay said, "I forgive you, but I can't say it's okay."

Sarah's hands fell to her side, as she said, "I ... I understand."

Though in truth, she didn't, really. How can you say it's not okay if you have been forgiven? Kay was silent for a while, her mind racing as she thought of certain things.

Sarah was her first friend here in Sakura Academy. First girl friend.

It had been a really good time together as they practically shared everything. Sarah also never asked her for things or made things difficult. She had never tried to get to know Kyle through her, and that alone had made Sarah have a special place in her heart.

Yet now, the good friend was turning into something that wasn't so pleasing.

Were her feelings for Kyle so deep and so strong that she was losing her rationality? She may have said that her words were not intentional, but that was a lie. It was actually her greatest desire, and in her agitated state, the words came out unfiltered.

It meant that she did have such thoughts and hopes. She just never expressed them before.

One might say that so long as no one actually acted on their thoughts, it was fine. In most cases, it would be. You cannot stop how you think, but you can have control over what you do. You can hate a person, for example, but you can still treat them nicely.

However, in Sarah's case?

She may act properly but now, Kay wouldn't know what her true intentions were from those actions. One may say that she's being overly suspicious and disregarded two years of friendship ... but Kay had already been exposed to the darker side of human nature.

Trust, once gone, would be hard to gain back. If ever.

Still, it did not mean that Kay was going to cut ties or sever her friendship. No, that would be too harsh and cruel - more so since Sarah appeared genuinely contrite about it.

It just meant that Kay had struck off Sarah from her heart. In the sense that she would not 'invest' in their friendship. She would treat Sarah the same, but not the same. In other words, she wouldn't be mean but she wouldn't confide in her any longer.

Not the really deep things, that is.

Kay felt sad for having to lose a friend, but it was a decision that she had to make. As a Smith, and a twin to Kyle, there would be many people who would try to cozy up to her just to make use of her. She had to be strong and steel her resolve.

Making tough decisions were the norm.

Kay put on a gentle smile as she faced Sarah, nothing about her troubled mind and sad heart showed.

"I know you wouldn't make use of me to get closer to Kyle," Kay said, "So that is why I forgave you but what you said wasn't nice either, so it is not okay. Words, once spoken, can't be taken back."

Kay took a deep breath and got up, brushing her skirt to get rid of the grass stains and pieces of fallen leaves on it.

She turned to face Sarah and said firmly, "Sarah, if Kyle was ever to have feelings for you, he would have by now. So please, wake up and give up. Nothing you can say, or do, will ever change his mind or how he feels."

Sarah nodded, saying, "I know."

She watched as Kay left, appreciating the fact that Kay seemed to understand that she needed to be alone right now.

Kay made it sound so easy. 'Forget Kyle' / 'Stop Loving Kyle'.

How was that even possible? Easier said than done!

To be fair, Kay never did tell her those things for she was well aware that one can't just stop feeling. 'Giving up' did not mean 'stop feeling' but to Sarah, it was the same thing. To give up on Kyle meant to stop loving him, right?

Sarah spent the rest of the evening figuring things out.

Luckily, Kyle did not know how she had felt so she could still interact with him. She is, after all, the Founder and President of the Protector of Kyle group. She would have plenty of chances to stand by his side.

Give up?

Not while her heart still beats.