CH_77

Tōji usually trained in a river less than two kilometers from his house.

Its biggest advantage was that no one ever came there.

Neru had only stumbled upon him once by chance—swimming there as it was starting to get dark.

"Do you come here to swim often?" Neru started a conversation as they reached the riverbank.

"It's part of my training. Since I have to train anyway, I might as well do it the way I like." Tōji sat down casually on the grass by the river.

He patted the spot beside him, inviting Neru to sit.

"Thanks." Neru sat down. The shade of the tree covered most of her body, while the spring sunlight still reached their legs and feet.

"So—you wanted to talk about something, right?" Tōji wasn't in the mood to waste time with small talk.

"I just found out yesterday… Captain Rawari died in the line of duty." Neru looked up at the leaves of the tree canopy.

Flecks of sunlight, scattered like fragments, drifted across the grass as the breeze swayed the branches.

"He…" Tōji remembered that short, stocky, iron-willed soldier. The fierce scars on Rawari's face—which never smiled—were the most vivid memory.

"My uncle said he was in the first group sent to the Land of Water after the war." Neru didn't show much grief for Rawari—Tōji sensed more self-pity in her tone.

Was this girl even more pessimistic than him?

Captain Rawari had been a fairly skilled Water Release user. He'd just recovered from his injuries when they needed people to scout Kirigakure.

But by then, the "Village of the Bloody Mist" was already in its current state…

"Captain Kenji… he wouldn't be on the same kind of mission, would he?" Neru asked again.

Tōji knew she wasn't really concerned about any particular person.

She was confused too.

In her view, it was like they kept sending people into the fire.

Sending tools—shinobi.

And she was one of those tools.

"Captain Kenji will come back safely." Tōji didn't want to dig too deep—he just offered some platitude.

"Maybe. You don't seem all that sad about Captain Rawari, though." Neru suddenly said.

Tōji didn't mind the comment. "That's just how shinobi are."

In truth, in any village, being cold and emotionless was often considered a virtue. So Tōji wasn't worried about being judged that way.

Just recently, Kakashi had barely joined the Anbu before earning the nickname "Cold-Blooded Kakashi."

"Would you carry out a mission like that without hesitation?" Neru's question crossed a line.

But Tōji didn't find it problematic. "Shinobi follow orders—that's just how it is."

『Just recite the textbook.』

"So you're not at peace with it." Neru muttered quietly to herself, as if confirming her own suspicions.

"You know what—I'm a lot like you. We see things pretty similarly when it comes to a shinobi's fate." Tōji said, "My take is: do your part, leave the rest to fate—that's enough."

"So it's just passive acceptance after all…" Neru murmured, staring at her toes.

"We might have become shinobi because circumstances forced us into it. But you have to love what you do—first, you do the job you're given." Tōji said to her, and maybe to himself too. "Aren't you also trying to get into the medical corps? Once you're capable enough, you can change the path you walk."

"I know there aren't many who think like us—but there are some. Most of them still didn't make it back from the war. Sometimes I feel like you're the only one I can talk to about this." Neru turned her gaze to Tōji's face. "Do you mind me talking to you like this?"

"We haven't really talked about anything." Tōji wasn't about to spill his guts to an eleven-year-old—or have her spill hers. Everything was kept at arm's length.

"Yeah, you're right. Anyway—good luck on the Chūnin Exams tomorrow."